Strings of the Heart
by Lacrymosa-Nightmare
Summary: Ed has a gift for music and he has just about no equal when it comes to playing the violin. But his gift doesn't come without a price and he's about to find out who and what that price might entail...when he does, will it be too much to let go of?
1. Language of the Soul

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FMA or any of it's characters. I do, however own this plot and such so, meh…

Okay my last attempt at a FMA fic didn't go so well, so…I'm brave enough to try again, with something much, much shorter (yay!!) But meep, I'm afraid it really won't make that much sense in the beginning…

**Additional note:**

I'm _really_ sorry for those who were following my other sad attempt at a FMA story…maybe if I feel like I can tweak it to make it better or whatever then I might put it back up…

**Warnings:** Confusing parts in the very beginning (it might not make much sense), yaoi (boyxboy, don't like then hit the back button or read another fic.)

**Strings of the Heart**

_Music is the language of the soul…_

-#-

"Yes…and hold out…beautiful…now this, here…yes, suddenly slow, legato, long…let me hear your heart, a heart of sorrow, as if you had lost something dear to you…"

A bow glided mournfully over the strings of a well-cherished violin and produced a haunting sound that made the speaker shiver visibly. The player's eyes were briefly, lightly shut as the intensity of the sound rolled forward, yet still retaining the slow pace. Long blond eyelashes fluttered briefly, revealing a glimpse of deep, honey amber eyes before shutting lightly again in sudden emotion. The tone changed yet again-longer, swelling, as if calling forth some kindred emotion that was akin to what was supposed to be conveyed, yet so startlingly real…

"Now…sweep into a faster pace, but keep…keep that emotion…ah, yes…"

The music rose in a powerful wave from the strings of the violin and as the notes carried both listener and player away, all the player could do was remember to breathe…

-#-

"That will be all for today, Edward, very, very good…"

A young looking blond with liquid amber eyes turned to the middle aged man who was speaking to him. That blond, named Edward, nodded slightly, his mind still lost in the music. His part time instructor understood the look in Ed's eyes and said no more.

Taking up his own violin case, which he had no point in really bringing anymore he glided softly out of the room and closed the door behind him with a click.

Ed gazed silently at the door then sighed and began carefully stowing away his own instrument.

It wasn't that he needed an instructor for the violin anymore-he was well past that point where he even needed the occasional pointers for advanced technique. He knew, by instinct, what was right and what was wrong in regards to caring for his violin-after all, it hadn't been his first time picking up that instrument.

_Better not let my parents know that part though…I wasn't supposed to…_

Edward Elric was the model of a perfect genius. Quiet, cultured, polite and of course intelligent to the point of running circles around the most renowned minds of the day, he was the poster child of the wealthy Elric family. He was very unlike his younger brother, Alphonse, who was just as normal and rebellious as any adolescent could be. Ed, having to be the 16 year old example of the family, was supposed to keep Al under control-but more often than not, he found Al's rebellious antics to be refreshing.

And if the sudden shouting down the hallway was anything to go by, Al had just pulled his famous regurgitating toilet trick on the maids. Oh, that wouldn't calm down for a good two hours at the very least.

"Al…you're just too much sometimes…" Ed chuckled as he picked up his violin case and walked to the door. "I just wish that sometimes I could be just like you…"

-#-

"…and really, you should have seen the looks on their faces, brother, it was hilarious-awww, man, you stuck having to do quantum physics homework from mom again?"

Ed looked up from his desk at the troubled bouncing lump on his bed. The blond sighed, putting down his pencil and smiled. On top of all his usual school work, he had special assignments to "keep his mind stimulated."

_Yeah, more like give my mind a killer headache…_

"Unfortunately yes, and I must say it's quite a pain…"

"Urgh, and you're talking all formal on me all over again!" Al roiled his eyes. If there was a huge pet peeve for the younger Elric, it was hearing his older brother use formal language. "And here we are, me thinking that we actually made some progress…"

"Well, of course there was," Ed was grinning now. "Given the fact that you actually taught me and heard me cuss, I wouldn't be so hard on yourself…"

"Uh-huh…okay who are you and what did you do with the brother I was beginning to normalize?"

The older blond merely laughed and returned to his work. Al bounced a few times on the bed before asking quietly-

"So…how was practice….? I…heard you playing…."

_I knew it would come around to that….it always does…_.

"I…really don't like talking about that, Al, and you know it-why even bother asking?" Great. Already he was getting annoyed. He picked up his pencil again, but already his grip was tightening and there was a slight groan coming from the compressing wood…

_Control…control yourself…_

Wasn't that a key principle he learned from those blasted violin lessons themselves? Or was this just something that required the lose of control?

"But…but I mean brother, you know I always will until I understand how-"

"Al, shouldn't you be going to sleep? We have to get up early for school tomorrow…"

_Snap._

Al bolted for the door and slammed it shut, leaving his brother to lament yet again over another broken pencil that crumbled under the automail hand and arm he so carefully concealed.

_I wish I could be just like you Al, and you know it…_

_It's just that I'm scared that you wish you could be me too…_

-#-#-#-

_**1st Movement**_: Language of the Soul

Music was a quiet passion that Edward Elric held for a long time. And after nearly making his "tutor" cry yet again, he was kind enough to tell him he never had to come back. So much for letting that settle well with anyone. The poor guy wanted to hear him even more, his parents were quite appalled and Alphonse found it something even more hilarious than his latest prank of sticking worms in the maid's socks.

At least Ed had some shot at being normal-he attended a public school along with his younger brother and for a few seconds he could pretend he was just like everyone else, that he wasn't the name he was born into, a name anyone would kill to have…

But then, as always, the whispers began-

"There's that Elric kid again-"

"Yeah, didn't you hear? He began playing the violin when he was 4!"

"No way! Is he really that good?"

"How would I know? Oh but did you hear-?'

"Yeah his brother's just like everyone else-he's pretty cool-"

"But he's such a playboy!"

"What! No, he's not! You're just jealous-!"

"Of what? His name? Good grief, the guy's younger brother wishes he could get rid of his name!"

"Wow….shame, shame…"

Ed growled under his breath as he fumbled angrily with the dial on his locker. _Stupid gossipers…having nothing better to do with their lives than talk about everyone else's_…he crammed his books into the small space and reached for some others. Well it wasn't his fault that he was taking classes that most people wouldn't even take until their junior year in collage…not that he was particularly proud of that. So much for thinking he had a shot at normality. _Oh wait…great, I have to be careful…don't want to dent the steel with my automail hand…_

Careful to use his flesh hand, he slammed the locker shut and kicked it for good measure.

_Don't even know why I even bother coming to school anyways_…Ed hoisted his bag more comfortably over his shoulder. His foot had only just then decided to smart from the pain of kicking metal. _These people….they don't understand me, they understand my brother better because he's just like them…_

_And I'm nothing like that._

His first period class was always music-and he found that having it in the morning would always make it easier for him to get though the rest of the day. But if there was one thing that the school had suddenly become notorious for was how frequently they went though music teachers. Not one of them stayed longer than a week or two at the most. But at this point, Ed didn't care. They left him alone, child protégé that he was, and he left them alone. Okay, well, for the exception of the more recent music teacher whom he was sure had gotten fired just today….

_And thank goodness for that…sparkles…everywhere…_Ed shivered. He didn't hate that man-Armstrong, wasn't it?- but that glitter thing…that just didn't work for poor Ed. Still, though he felt for the guy…but Armstrong really wasn't cut out for music in general. Ed rolled his eyes. The very first day there, Armstrong had bent two sousaphones, dropped a trumpet and nearly broke a saxophone case he tried to yank from storage. Nope, that last music teacher just wasn't cut for the job…

As he walked to the band room the chatter of the world around suddenly seemed to cease as one sweet, low note made Ed freeze in mid step. The sound was unmistakable-his ears had been trained in every note on that instrument since forever…

But life still seemed to rumble on around him-as if nothing happened.

Then-

There! Again…but even more quite, thrumming…

…_.like the sound of a string vibrating against a wooden bow…_

And he had never heard anything so soul stirring in his life.

Steps quickening, he weaving through the usual slow crowds of students straight for his first period class. That one note, that his ears had picked up on, was now stringed to two, three, four…and it was getting louder.

And with every waving crescendo, his heart rose with it and it was almost as if a frenzied thrall had suddenly seized him. Ed yanked open the door and the sound spun into a quick, legato tune that the blond had never heard of.

_What…is this…?_

Slamming the door shut he raced down the narrow corridor , passing the drama room in a whirl of blond, tightly braided hair and crisp, ironed school uniform.

_My heart...aches for more…_

Panting, he finally reached the band room door. With hands trembling violently he reached out for the handle just as the music swirled upwards through the door, clawing, piercing straight through his heart…

The boy swayed on the spot, throat constricting painfully as the music continued it's upwards spiral, flowing freely from what he knew could only be a violin…

_This must be heaven…_

_But it feels like hell…_

…_is it hell that it hurts so beautifully…_

_or that I know I could never play like that…?_

Eyes brimming with sudden tears Ed yanked the door open-

And the music suddenly died.

Standing casually in the center of the room, a younger looking man slowly opened deep onyx black eyes and gazed directly into Edward's own wide hazel ones. He lowered the violin tucked securely under his chin and smiled gently. Blinking furiously, the blond quickly dried his eyes.

_Who…Who is this-?? _

_And why…why does he seem…so familiar??_

"So finally we meet….Edward Elric…"

-#-#-#-

Okay hopefully this one will come out better than my last attempt…

I dunno what's up with me lately but I think my writing style has just become incredibly bad…maybe I'm just having off days a lot more frequently because of school coming up but…well, whatever it is I hope I'll get over it soon…

So well, tell me what you think. Should I try and attempt to continue this one or should I just go on vacation or something, refresh my mind? Reviews greatly needed…


	2. Hating Your Smiles

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FMA or any of it's characters. I do, however own this plot and such so, meh…

Okay my last attempt at a FMA fic didn't go so well, so…I'm brave enough to try again, with something much, much shorter (yay!!) But meep, I'm afraid it really won't make that much sense in the beginning…

**Warnings:** Confusing parts in the very beginning (it might not make much sense), yaoi (boyxboy, don't like then hit the back button or read another fic.), and maybe some OCness…though I'm not quite sure if it's that bad…

**Strings of the Heart**

_**Movement 2:**_ Hating Your Smiles

"What do you…who are you?" Ed inwardly winced-his voice had cracked. The man seemed to not have noticed Ed's strange voice and his smile only become warmer.

_That smile…_

"You have an appreciation for music, Edward…that much is easy to see. But hmm, perhaps…no, I wonder what else lies behind those eyes of yours…" He bent down, his dark suit rustling slightly to pick up the violin case at his feet. There were no traces of scratch marks, dents, anything-it was well taken care of. And yet…that type of violin case…

_They're old and extremely rare to find_…the blond stared as the dark haired male gently popped it open and laid the violin in it. _And the violins they are modeled to fit even more so…_

"W-wait…" Ed somehow found his voice. "You…didn't answer my question!"

"Does that really matter that much to you?" He had stood up now, case in hand. His voice had a slight edge to it now, but he was still smiling. "After all…you never cared to know before-why ask such a foolish question now?"

_Why…why are you still smiling??_

"What?" The blond found himself suddenly ashamed and a bit irritated. _The nerve of him-! This guy…he doesn't even know me! "I never cared"…it's not like I've asked him this before! And that stupid little…what is his problem? I...hate that smile!_ "I don't know what you're talking about but it was just a simple question-!"

"You already knew who I was the moment you walked in." The man cut in decisively. "And before you make yourself look even more foolish, I would suggest you get your violin out and begin tuning and warming up before the rest of the class gets in…"

Eyes blazing now with full blown anger, Ed huffed and spun away, think braid flying. He knew who he was…??

"You have some nerve!" He yelled angrily over his shoulder as he stomped off to the instrument storage room. "I know damn well everything about my violin so quit lecturing me like you're my damn superior!"

As he slammed the instrument room door shut, his anger snuffed out as quickly as it had exploded and he found himself slightly horrified yet oddly amused and proud of himself.

_Well, that…was a first…I've never lost my temper so violently nor have I actually used a cuss word aimed at anyone before…_Ed chuckled to himself as he found his own case tucked safely in one of the many shelves used by the class. White gloved fingers brushed over the surface almost reverently for a fleeting second-then he pulled it out.

"Well, brother, at least now you can't say I'm not trying to be normal…" He whispered quietly to himself.

-#-

"Edward…you're so different now…how amusing…" The onyx eyed man laid his case on the table a few feet away from the conductor's stand and the now filling rows of chairs. His smile never disappeared until someone managed to look at him-then it was gone. "You didn't even ask me how I knew you played the violin, which is something indefinitely more important than knowing my name…"

_But no matter anyhow…_he kept his expression neutral as Ed bustled into the main practice room and hastily took his seat as-to no surprise to him-first chair violinist_. A name means nothing, can't even begin to define a person…but for you, it is __**everything.**_

The black haired man deftly took up a baton in his fingers and twirled the almost needle thin shaft of it between his fingers. The class was still chattering amiably but some were beginning to notice him. But much to his slightly amused annoyance, Ed was pointedly not noticing his classmates growing interest in the tall, poised man standing in front of their class.

_It is your curse and your blessing…it is inexplicably __**you**__. It is an identity nevertheless, no matter how much you may like it or hate it…and not everyone has the luxury of self identity Edward…._

And he walked up to the black music stand now marked by his own name and rapped it lightly with the baton. Instantly the class quieted down and Ed reluctantly-finally-looked up.

"Of course, many of you might have been wondering who I was…" his voice was strong, commanding, yet lacking that bite that would have otherwise made the students cringe. He felt with a slight sort of satisfaction that Ed shifted in his seat. "I regret to inform you, first of all, though, that Mr. Armstrong has left us-"

"All the more better, he was breaking instruments left and right." Someone grumbled. The man chose to ignore this and continued-

"As it would seem so, given I've seen the damage he caused. Really regrettable, but they can be fixed. Disrespect and reputation however, cannot Miss Winry Rockbell." At this, the girl named Winry, who sat in the flute section and right behind Ed, winced. The blond rolled his eyes-for being a first chair flute player, sometimes even had to admit, Winry just couldn't keep her mouth shut…"As I was saying, before I was interrupted, you might have all guessed that I'm your new teacher." Everyone stared and even Ed gave a small start. The guy looked nothing like a teacher! And just a few minutes ago, when it was just the two of them in that room…

_No, he was something…beyond that…_

"Those that did, you assumed correctly-I am Mr. Mustang, but you can drop the Mr. …It makes me feel rather old…so Mustang will do."

Out of nowhere Ed felt the sudden urge to yell out "bastard Mustang, more like!" but bit his lip hard to keep it in. Where had that come from…? Bastard…? This guy…Bastard Mustang, his mind whispered evilly but he hushed it…_Mustang_ would of course know his father…and why should he even be even more irate, he knew the man's name now…

_But it feels like an easy, familiar feeling to call him bastard Mustang…_

_No harm in saying it out loud_, he told himself_…After_ _all, it's really a weird urge that's making me a bit light headed…_

"Bastard…" Ed mumbled out loud to himself, letting the word roll off his tongue shamelessly. The violin player next to him heard and turned to look at him, startled. Ed clamped a hand over his mouth but it was to hold back what would have been a very unmanly giggle. Mustang's head jerked up, onyx eyes glittering faintly.

"What did you just say, Edward?"

Ed coughed faintly and straightened up in a deceptive state of composure. He had to quickly tighten his grip on his violin which had begun to slip off his lap.

"Oh nothing…_Mustang_, nothing at all…"

_Bastard Mustang…I kind of like the ring to that…_

"And that's based off of your second chair violinist's shocked expression?" Mustang didn't wait for an answer before turning his attention back to the class. "Now…let's begin…"

-#-

"Damn him, damn him, damn him…"

Ed was finding out that swear was becoming rather easy for him now-and whether he had a natural talent for it or he just had something now to swear about, well…

_Stupid, stupid Mustang! Getting off of criticizing me-and in front of the whole class too!_ He fumed silently as he rounded the corner to his next class. _And that smile of his…no, it wasn't a smile it was a damn smirk!! Argh! "Oh, Edward, your hand position isn't quite right." "Oh Edward, you need to relax you arm more so you can play faster." "Oh Edward, what kind of teacher taught you how to play like__** that**__?" Oh you bastard, I want to __**strangle **__you for those snide remarks!!_

But even as he stormed into his next class-which happened to be one of his favorites, Physics-he still couldn't convince himself that Mustang was _wrong_, because to his utter annoyance…

He was right. About everything.

"Stupid know-it-all…"

"Who's a stupid know-it-all?"

The grumbling blond jumped and gave a startled yelp.

"Al! Argh, don't sneak up on me like that!!"

"You're in a good mood. Good morning to you too." But Al was positively grinning. Ed, however wasn't paying attention to Al's rather teasing tone so much as…

"Al!" Ed jabbed his finger wildly at his younger brother. "W-what did you do to your hair??"

In all that slightly messy blond hair, thick black streaks were running through it. Al's grin widened while the elder Elric was practically dying on the spot.

"Like it brother? I did it this morning after mom and dad left-hey, I spared them the shock and agony of their youngest son's latest rebellion, so don't give me that look." Ed rolled his eyes, reluctantly plopping down in his seat while Al took his usual spot next to him. Well, he had to admit rather reluctantly that it did look good…but that wasn't the point!! "So anyways, what's this about a know-it-all?"

Ed dumped his bag next to his seat and folded his arms. Al snorted at this sudden, unspoken defensiveness. It wasn't like Ed to really show anything but mild boredom or slight irritancy at school but he looked as if something positively rattled him…

_Well, whoever it was, I give the person props for being able to wreck his mood so effectively…_Al grinned evilly to himself. Yes, that wasn't very nice but hey, Ed needed to act a bit more like him if he was wanting to be "normal"…and one of those things was showing a variety of emotions besides aloof indifference. _Besides, that's something almost no one can do…_

"Don't change the subject on me Al-why the _heck_ did you do that to your hair?"

Ah, so it was the change-the-subject method eh?

_Sorry, Ed…gotta do better than that._

"Who's changing the subject here? You have something much more interesting to tell than talking about my hair. We'll get to that later." Now Al was positively grinning and Ed groaned inwardly.

_Have my brother and that Mustang guy met before? Maybe in a past life or something? Because I swear, they have that same, weird, creepy grin…almost identical…_

"It's…my new stupid band teacher…" Ed finally conceded, flipping through his text book in boredom. He didn't really need the book, since he'd covered this material nearly two years ago, but he wasn't in the mood to look straight at Al at the moment. "He's…well, he criticized me! In front of everyone! Like he knew exactly what was wrong, what I was lacking in! Damn it, I know my violin better than he does-I've learned from the greatest players and have_ surpassed_ them in every way!! Argh!" Ed slammed his book shut earning a few startled glances and wide eyed stares. He glared back and all of them quickly looked away. Al couldn't suppress his snorts of laughter. _Poor Ed…he's never been told that he wasn't perfect before…no wonder he's so rattled._

"Well…does he…does he know what he's talking about, this teacher of yours?" Al tried really hard not to keep laughing in mid sentence. Ed threw him another Ed-yet-un-Ed-like glare before folding his arms more decisively across his chest.

"No…" Ed asserted firmly, but he wasn't looking at Al. Al rolled his eyes but said nothing…a pause then a defeated sigh "Okay...as much as I hate to admit it yes…he did."

"So you're pissed."

"Al! That's a rather crude way-!"

"But you are."

Ed grumbled into a wary silence, and then with another sigh he nodded. Though pissed was a rather harsh way to put it…_its true enough. I'm not exactly the happiest person in the world right now because of him…_

"No one's ever criticized you before have they?" Al commented airily, flipping through his own book and digging into his bag with one hand to fish out some 0.5 lead. Ed glanced over at him sharply as the younger Elric deftly unscrewed the top and tapped five needle thin pieces in. "I mean, all your life you've been that much more superior to everyone and, heck, I may be smart too, but I think all the brilliant smart-guy genes went to you."

"Well, that might be true…" Ed replied hesitantly. "But Al…you have a normal life. Tons of friends, popularity, a good reputation among teachers, and athletics-"

"Oh Ed, really now!" His younger brother laughed, now busy pulling out his binder. "You're funny, brother…you know all the teacher's love you more, with all those good manners and ridiculously brilliant answers to every question. And as for everything else…you'll find that it gets so _annoying_. There's no peace in your life at all…but you, you have that peace, especially when you play on your violin or any other instrument for that matter…" And Al looked a bit wistful as he trailed off, turning to look at the board.

_Not this again with my instrument…if only he knew…_

"Whatever Al…whatever…"And Ed turned away, now suddenly even more disturbed. _It's not like you are the one having those sudden urges to play for hours on end and being unable to fight them…and that's the scariest part of all-loss of self control. When it gets all quiet at night…I just can't stop myself…and in all that genius, Al…_

_There's something not quite right inside of me. And whether you know that or not is not the point. What **i**__**s**__…_

_Is that I'm scared of __**myself**_

-#-#-#-

Poor, poor Edo…his ego just got bashed in pretty bad…-pats Ed on head- And le gasp! Is Al...slightly _jealous_ of Ed?? –shifty eyes- Winry as a flute player…somehow I am seeing that yet_ not_ seeing that working out so well… And poor Ed is scared of himself-and for good reason, I suppose. But why? Hmm…

Hahaha, I'm starting to get that writer's fire back, yay!! I'm loving where this is head and everyone who has reviewed has made me all the more happier!

**Bar-Ohki**-Thank you-I'm glad you did! Hope you love this chapter even more! –laughs-

**catwwomen47**- -laughs- hehe, I usually can't wait for what my own_ mind_ comes up with…because that usually means more updates for all you lovely reviewers!

**EmoNekoNinja**- That would be telling. –shifty eyes-

**agent000**-no, really? I get that a lot-where people love my stories and I think they suck majorly. Just kidding-no, I usually know what I've written something that's slightly worth the praise, but sometimes I find if I'm too lax on myself then I end up writing really bad works. –sighs- Well, actually, I'm a bit obsessed myself, since I play both the flute and bass guitar and the fact that I am that kind of person who is a perfectionist…well, that makes the obsession with being really good that much worse! –winces- So actually some of that inspiration came from my own weird obsessions…-is that a good or bad thing? –laughs again- Thanks for the review!

So…-quirks eyebrows- peoples, you know what to do-read and leave le authoress a review!


	3. Remember Me Not

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FMA or any of its characters. I do, however own this plot and such so, meh…

Okay my last attempt at a FMA fic didn't go so well, so…I'm brave enough to try again, with something much, much shorter (yay!!) But meep, I'm afraid it really won't make that much sense in the beginning…

**Warnings:** Confusing parts in the very beginning (it might not make much sense), yaoi (boyxboy, don't like then hit the back button or read another fic.), and maybe some OCness…though I'm not quite sure if it's that bad…

Haha, the last chapter wasn't as "action packed/confusingness" as much but this one…

**Strings of the Heart**

_**Movement 3:**_ Remember Me Not

_For every action, there is a reaction…_

-#-

"_Tell me…what is the first Essential Rule…?"_

…

"_You disappoint me so much…perhaps you are too tired today…It is this, and remember this well:_

_**For every action, there is a reaction**__."_

-#-

"For every action…" A blond boy whispered achingly as the bow sang mournfully over the strings of the violin. "There is…a _reaction_…" And the bow suddenly shifted upwards, gliding seamlessly. Again, a second note overlapped the first, and pierced the earthy silence.

Tonight…was one of _those_ nights.

It was a night where Edward Elric just couldn't _control himself anymore_. When there was that absolute quiet, he would feel an inexplicable _pull_ to that particular room, the one where he dimly remembered its significance.

It was there that he remembered the first time he had ever picked up a violin.

And it was there, that Ed found himself yet again, whispering lessons that had been deeply rooted in his very being. Lessons he would not consciously remember until he began to play. It was in those soft, almost phantom whispers that called forth the most heart wrenching notes and movements Ed ever played, in those that he found a painful comfort…

"_For every action…"_

"There is a reaction…" Ed muttered, his voice mixing with the crescendo of a new pattern, a new bar of notes. "I…remember this now…"

"_And that is __good__…"_

As if to complement him on his achievement, the violin sang in a deep reverberating fervor and Ed smiled gently, his eyes closed.

"_It is good…"_

"But not good enough…" Ed mumbled sadly, the fleeting joyful swell in sound dying down to its mournful status just seconds before. This phrase he had heard countless times as well, and it was almost in and of itself one of his lessons…

"_And…? If it is lacking…"_

"Then repeat it all over again…" he barely heard himself now as his fingers began moving on their own accord…over…drawing forth long, then short, quick…

"_And this all falls under the first Essential Rule…"_

"Something I vow on my life never to forget." He finished solemnly, hazel eyes barely open. He could feel it-the strings as they vibrated with sound, the point where the bow string connected with those strings, where his chin and shoulder met and cradled the wooden body…

And suddenly his eyes flew wide open and with a small sob, he fell to his knees. He shuddered, fingers suddenly burning with raw pain-the blond squeezed his eyes shut. Faintly, he could feel fingers thread though his thickly braided hair, tugging gently though it.

This was no dream, which he sorely wished it was and yet glad that it wasn't.

_You don't…normally do this…to me…_

His flesh hand curled tightly around the neck of his instrument, afraid that he might snap it in half from his strength. The fingers slipped down and yanked softly through the hair tie that kept it all in place. It fell away and the boy shivered, head bowed as the fingers unwove what was thirty minutes worth of braiding.

_This isn't like you…you haven't done this in such a long time…_

"_Remember me not…"_

"…B-because…" Ed choked out, his eyes still firmly fixed to the carpet beneath him. Those same fingers, warm, gentle, began to run though his cascading hair. "What is imp-portant is my identity…what is truly **me**…" It was recitation, something he was conditioned to say. And yet, Ed wasn't blissfully happy to recite this important, special lesson. In fact…tonight, he hated himself for saying it…

"_To remember who you are…and not to wish you were me, __**with**__ me…"_

"B-but why…?" Ed whimpered quietly. The fingers froze and Ed feared for a fleeting moment that he had said too much, but he couldn't stop his mindful state now. He had never before actually spoken out of turn during lessons and instruction but he couldn't take it anymore…"You…I don't know who you are even now…and you…taught me _everything-_"

"_Eddy-kun…"_

Ed froze at the spontaneously given pet name and the way it was purred sweetly in his ear.

"_No…It is with the utmost care that you never, ever however indirectly, beg to know me, to see me…I can hear your heart…"_ The fingers in his hair trailed downwards, past his shoulders and strayed directly over the blonds quickening heartbeat. _"Right __here__…how it aches to know who I am, the one who has taught you almost all the secrets of music…You want to know so badly…you would…literally __**die**__ to know…wouldn't you?"_

Ed swallowed listening to his own heart beat thunder painfully. Was that answer enough? _"Too much so…You…Eddy-kun…you sadden me…your love of music is so great…that you've shifted that love…towards __**me**__ as well…"_

"Is that so wrong?" Ed whispered, breathing harshly. The fingers had now traveled back upwardly to trail smoothly though his hair again. "I..am not allowed-?"

"_**I am undeserving of your love, Edward…!"**_

Ed flinched and as if in apology, the speaker began petting his head soothingly. But it wasn't so much as of the harshness in the voice as it was the great unbridled sadness…

"You…aren't you lonely?" The blond asked foolishly, eyes still calmly locked on the floor. It was an unspoken rule, that he never raise his head to look at his true teacher, and never once had he felt inclined to break that rule. A soft laugh eased the blond's heart, warming it.

"_Lonely? How could I be, when I…have you?"_ At this Ed's heart skipped a beat. _"But no, Eddy-kun…stop that…do not be a fool and love me so…leave your love for someone more deserving than someone such as I…"_

"B-but…!" Ed protested meekly.

_I can't help myself…_

"No. That is enough. Listen…listen to me." The voice was urgently pleading now and Ed felt deeply ashamed. _"Continue to push this with me tonight and I…have no choice but to never see you again." _Ed gasped and instantly that fluttering feeling in his chest tightened into that of fear. _"We both do not wish for that…but if I…continue this conversation any further…I'm afraid…that I can no longer hide my face from you…"_ Ed clamped a hand to his mouth, shivering violently now.

If that had been one wish he had so desperately wanted to come true…a wish that no one else knew about…_I've always wanted to see my sensei's face…_

"_But when that happens…then I really will have no choice but to leave you and take away all that I have taught you…so please, Eddy-kun. Stop talking to me tonight…because that wish will be the ruin of us both…and you are becoming not just Edward Elric, an __identity__, but you are becoming __**you**__, in my eyes…you are becoming something __**personal**__ to me…"_ There was a long sigh and Ed felt dizzy with…joy? Confusion? Regret? He knew heart ache and the twinge of bittersweetness, was that what he was feeling right now?

"_Goodnight…my Eddy-kun."_

A small blast of warm yet chilly air snaked around Ed's back and hair and Ed shuddered. It was the familiar sensation he felt when his teacher left him…But the blond blinked and winced as he felt something snag in his hair. And then-

The voice, the presence, his great teacher had vanished.

But apparently not all of that presence was gone…

Something shifted in Ed's hair and with a frown he ran his fingers through it. Something soft brushed against his fingers and made them tinge pleasantly. Curious now, he pulled, grasping the foreign object-

And felt a whole new onslaught of happy, choking sobs leave him.

Between his trembling, automail fingers laid one, lone jet black feather-a small token of unspoken love.

"Sen…sei…"

And, for the first time in a long while, Ed was able to sleep a dreamless sleep.

-#-

_Remember me not…because what is important is your identity…what is truly __**you…**_

_**And it is you that I am undeserving of**_

-#-#-#-

Whoa, okay, we are back now to confizzldeness…-blinks- there is so much going on here, and just not enough details to make sense of it all…so what is Ed's mysterious teacher? –shifty eyes- I know I didn't get any new reviews but…I just couldn't help myself in updating this new fic a bit fast…well, I hope that doesn't impact me _not_ getting any reviews but meh, whatever…

This chapter was shorter (ahhh, the horror of it all! Only three pages worth on Microsoft Word using size 8 font!) than the last one…meep…

I've been getting over 80 hits on this story now so I'm really very happy! Well, anyways, if you're just one of those people that loves reviewing, don't hesitate to click away at that review button! Lacry will lurvs you forever…-smiles-


	4. Better Off Ignorant With Broken Wrists

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FMA or any of its characters. I do, however own this plot and such so, meh…

**Warnings:** Confusing parts in the very beginning (it might not make much sense), yaoi (boyxboy, don't like then hit the back button or read another fic.), and maybe some OCness…though I'm not quite sure if it's that bad…

There is a good reason for Ed's and Al's seemingly switched personalities…-laughs- it'll become clearer later on..

**Strings of the Heart**

_**Movement 4: **_Better Off Ignorant With Broken Wrists

"Edward Elric, _pay attention_! You're playing like a beginner all over again-don't make that dying cat noise! And for the last time, correct that wrist of yours-with it bent like that you'll get tired more quickly!"

_And for the last time, I really want to punch your flapping pie hold into the ground_, Ed thought bitterly as he made the adjustments. Okay well, that screeching cat noise was entirely on purpose…yeah, it was to annoy the hell out of Bastard Mustang…okay, no it wasn't. Yes, he, the great Edward Elric, unparalleled genius, had actually made a mistake. But honestly, it wasn't his fault!...okay, maybe it was. _Next time, maybe I should stop daydreaming while I'm playing…_

"And give me that look again and I'll_ break_ that wrist into position."

Oh yes, Ed was not a very happy person at the moment. Only one week…one week and Mustang had not only corrected him and humiliated him more times than he could count…

But everyone had seemed to fall in _love_ with the guy! That had to be the most annoying part-girls giggling whenever he walked into the room, the excited whispers, the little love notes that were dropped not-so-conspicuously on the music stand…

_You'd think these people couldn't get anyone their own age…_Ed grumbled as he once again adjusted his wrist and sent the teacher a withering glare. _Well, at least it's a mercy that Winry hasn't joined the crazy Mustang Fan Club…_

"…oh fine…yes, I do think he's cute but he's…a bit old don't you think..?? Okay well, maybe 26 isn't too bad of an age gap…"(1) A low familiar whisper came from behind him.

_Scratch that-she just did._ And Ed's mood dampened considerably. He had a bad feeling that the fandom would only grow…

Suddenly band had become the most annoying class of the day-and it was a pity he had it first thing in the morning.

-#-

"One week…and already you're finding reasons to dislike me…"

Roy Mustang sat at his desk, violin case in his lap. He leaned back, touching the surface of the case briefly. It was nice, to have some time to himself in his own office…

Mustang smirked. It was amusing, to see the little blond glare at him, positively huff in his seat and pout before finally doing what he asked. The boy would never admit it, perhaps, but not only was his ego ridiculously pampered but that he really wasn't as perfect as he wanted everyone to believe him to be. Being a genius came with its own problems and two obvious ones had cropped up in Edward's personality. Apparently however, his cultured self-nurtured perfection was cracking somewhere because just that morning he had cursed out loud when his instrument case dropped on his foot. And Mustang had just happened to walk in on him right when he said it.

Needless to say, that short anger had been shot at him as well, and Mustang had merely gave Ed his trademark smirk before walking out of the room. That obviously hadn't improved Ed's mood at all…

"That's exactly what I want you to do. Dislike me, hate me if you must…" Mustang chuckled. "Call me a _bastard_…I wonder where you picked that one up from…but feel nothing but annoyance and discomfort."

_Because that's the only thing keeping me here._

-#-

"…and he threatened to break my wrist unless I fixed my position!" Ed rattled off, clearly agitated. It was lunchtime and the elder Elric was blowing steam on his amused, attentive brother Al. Al had finally gotten rid of the black streaks in his hair and it was now back to it's normal color. "Someone should fire that twisted ego-centered, pig-head tweaker! I swear, that man might turn violent, not that it would matter because he threatened to break the wrist that…well, he wouldn't be able to even if he had a cast iron wrench…"

"Like Winry?" Al interjected, snickering. Ed shivered. Winry was the only other person, apart from Al and himself that knew about his automail arm and leg. That was due in part to the fact that not only did he accidentally punch a ringing dent into the metal door of their garage, but that he had to get his fingers fixed by none other than a very pissed off Winry. She was a rare specialist in that area (Which came to a complete surprise to both Elric brothers), but a specialist in a very unforgiving mood. He surprisingly came out in one piece and Al got himself a newfound crush on the wrench-throwing girl. Not the best day in his life, come to think of it, but she forgave him-sort of. And Al, well…

He got her phone number but not the guts to ask her out-not even now. Go figure.

"Must you always bring her into every conversation we have concerning Mustang?" Ed pouted, staring at his lunch with little appetite. Talking about his band teacher really did wonders to his usually gnawing appetite-and today was not exception. His appetite was officially dead. "You haven't even asked her out yet-"

"For a very good reason!" Al seemed to wilt visibly as he pointed vaguely at something behind Ed. "And that's pretty much why."

Ed, rolling his eyes, turned around-

And his eyes bulged.

There was Winry-deceptively calm looking, blond hair done up in a pony tail today. Ed, however knew her better-she could be extremely and randomly violent. But right then, she was laughing and _blushing_-a very odd and shocking combination. And standing across from her, the person who was now nodding and smiling back at her…

Was none other than his music teacher.

"**ARGH**!!!!"

Ed promptly screeched and fell off his seat, landing awkwardly on his backside and automail hand. There was a ringing silence as the sound of metal connecting with tile flooring shot through the air. Ed groaned, wincing from the jolt that ran up his now aching backside and oddly bent metal wrist. Al froze, his own eyes widening. A small crack had spread out from under Ed's wrist.

_Awwwww…_

"**Shit**…" Ed hissed trying hastily to stumble back into his seat and ignore all the very strange looks he was getting. It was one thing to fall, but another thing to break tile flooring when it should have been his wrist getting broken. The elder Elric shoved his metal wrist under the table and experimentally tried to move it. It barely twitched. Ed groaned quietly tom himself-he'd probably have to take a trip down to Winry's house…oh the horror. Al wasn't sure whether to laugh his head off, congratulate Ed for actually using yet another cuss word, or get pissed off by both his reaction and his clumsiness.

Some how, he managed all three.

"Ed, now_ that_ was impressive, but seriously, what the hell…?"

And the blond suddenly remembered what made him fall off his seat so violently.

"That's…that's-!"

"One of the teacher's here I know that much." Al glanced down bitterly at his food, his laughter dying in his throat. "She's been trying to hang around him since what, yesterday? The day before? I dunno…I think somewhere along there since she's apparently on good terms-"

"That's my **band teacher**, Al!" Ed hissed, now irritated enough to slap his tray away into the garbage can with his flesh hand. It bounced across the rim squarely, tipping out some of the food and splattering it on the ground but it didn't matter…

Al did a double take at the man that was now nodding in faint interest at what the girl was blabbering on about.

"_**Him**_?? He's-what??"

"My…band…teacher…with…urgh, That's just…he's such a…"

_No way…but he'd never…still though it's not like he's even rejected all those love notes…his ego must be loving all that attention, the sicko…_

Ed felt like throwing up or smashing Mustang's face in but he wasn't sure which one appealed to him more. Ed looked back at the man again. He smiled briefly, but even from this distance, he could feel the falsity in it…and he looked away, eyes roaming the room briefly before-

Ed quickly looked away, a foreign feeling rising in his throat and heart. Onyx eyes had fleetingly, met and bored into his own hazel ones before releasing them. Ed swallowed, now suddenly loosing both urges. It wasn't a big deal…Just a glance nothing more…there was no need to dwell on it. After all, Ed had stared Mustang down countless times before and this look was no different…

_But…it feels like I've just gotten a glimpse of a forbidden heaven…_

"I'll see you later, Al…" Ed mumbled, getting up quickly, taking care to shove both hands in his pockets to conceal his oddly bent wrist. Wordlessly, his younger brother watched him go, glancing back at the male Ed called his teacher before getting up himself.

What Al didn't catch was Mustang's now sudden interest in Ed's quickly departing form…

-#-

_Why…did I find that look instantly disturbing…soul probing…?_ Ed retracted his flesh hand from his pocket while still testing out his other hand to see if he could still use it. No go. Ed growled in frustration. And it was his writing arm too…he wrote well enough with his left (being the genius he was, he had learn early on to be skilled with writing with both his left and right) but he favored the right one more. There was some sense of connection there…he could feel the point where his wrist met the metal forearm but…

For Ed, the one thing that was perhaps the hardest thing to adjust too was his automail arm and leg. He didn't even remember when or how he got it…but he had merely accepted it as a part of himself. In fact, when he was little, he kind of found it cool to be part machine and therefore never bothered to wonder…even so, every once in a while, he would have problems with it and he would have to find out temporary fixes to it. That was probably what had pissed Winry off terribly that day she fixed up his fingers and what seemed to be his whole arm. His little "home remedies" had messed up some delicate wiring systems where his forearm and the rest of it connected to his body. It was still good as new but now…

_She's gonna be mad at me for jacking it up like this…_

There were no nerve endings within his automail limbs yet he could still "feel" in a weird sense-hot, cold, wind, the fur on a cat…but he couldn't feel pain. His whole arm could be melting off and he would only feel the sensation of a very, very warm, yet somewhat unpleasant feeling of having soaked in a hot bath. So…perhaps there was a crude system of nerve endings in those limbs, but not so much pain sensory nerves…?

At any rate, he was feverishly glad for that-if that had been his normal hand connecting with the ground like that, he wouldn't have been so lucky…

Even that momentary train of thought wasn't enough to distract himself from the still furious pounding of his heart in his ears.

_I have every right to freak out! He was talking to Winry about goodness knows what and who knows what she could have been saying!_ But even in his own mind, he knew he sounded completely irrational. And when had he admitted he was freaking out about Mustang merely glancing at him? He wasn't freaking out! There was nothing to freak out about! It was just a glance…

_I'm starting to sound like one of his weird obsessed fan girls._

That did it for him-his heart instantly stilled and Ed sighed as the bell rang.

_Great…let' see how many weird looks I get this time when I start writing perfectly well with my left hand…_

-#-

"No, no, and** no**!!"

"But…come on! Please??" _I can't believe I'm being reduced to begging…_

"As much as I find it absolutely priceless that the great Edward Elric is begging for my help since he's not genius enough to do this by himself-no."

Ed sighed, his shoulder slumped in defeat. A few minutes after school found the blond sitting on a rather uncomfortable, slightly rusty metal stool in Winry Rockbell's garage. Said girl was now out of her school uniform and into a pair of slightly oil smudged overalls with a clean white t-shirt underneath it. Hair kept out of her face by a red bandana, she clucked her tongue in disproval and shook her head. Ed stared dejectedly down at his bent automail wrist. Here he was, forced to beg at a wrench-tossing girl's feet for repairs on something that was important to him and he wasn't getting anywhere…

'It was your fault anyways-what were you thinking, falling off your seat like that and using it to break your fall?" Winry shook her head. "I feel sorrier for the tiling you broke and all the people who heard your metal wrist hit the floor than the wrist itself!"

"Hey! That's a little bit harsh-!" Ed fumed then changed in mid sentence "You were the one talking or flirting or whatever with that Mustang guy…!!"

"So? What does that have to do with anything?" She looked slightly livid now and Ed winced. "My personal life has nothing to do with your wrist-! And anyways, no thanks to your stupid stunt, Mustang wasn't paying attention to what I was saying anymore-!"

"So you were flirting with him! Urgh!" Ed made a face. _That was something I did not want to be right about! _At this, Winry blinked and stared at the blond incredulously.

"Wait…what?" Then suddenly something seemed to dawn on her- "Hold on…do you…you like me?"

There was a stony silence. Ed's jaw dropped. _Where…where the heck did she get…how can you get…that from…???_

Ed wasn't sure whether to laugh, throw a fit or yell at her for being a complete idiot.

"Are you kidding me??" Ed shook his head, somehow sickly amused. Winry looked slightly confused. "No way that's-" Ed caught himself before saying "Al". He didn't know enough too much about how his younger brother reacted to anything concerning his love life, but he didn't want to entertain the idea of having him mad if he spilled. "Um, someone else….so, no, no way…" He felt a bemused smile creep to his lips. "It just shocked me that you'd actually find some weird interest with Mustang since he's what, 26?" _Not to mention the fact that he's critical, egotistical, has a fetish of humiliating me and has a superiority complex_…

Now it was Winry who burst out laughing.

"Some…weird…interest…you've got to be…kidding me…you're hilarious…" Ed raised an eyebrow. "You **idiot**!" Suddenly she threw a small wrench not at his head but at his automail wrist. Ed yelled at it ricocheted off, sending another weird jolt up through his body.

"What the heck was that for??" He fumed, rising off the stool, fists clenched at his side (Or rather one-his exposed automail hand dangled slightly useless next to him)-which didn't help Winry's weird mood. The Elric didn't make a really imposing statement even in his fury, given his rather…small stature.

"Weird interest? Flirting?" She shook her head. "I was asking him about a part in the new piece he gave us in class this morning, smart one!"

_What…?_

And then he remembered-that morning, their band teacher had handed out a rather complex piece. It didn't bother Ed the least since the difficulty wasn't the problem-it was the fact he'd never seen it yet felt he'd played something like it that got to him.

Ed felt like a completely idiot.

"Oh…" _But then, wait-!_ "What about that whole…you were blushing and smiling at something he said and this morning-"

"Oh wow, you really are…you take everything the wrong way, you Elrics! Not as bad as Al but still…" She leaned against a work table, hands inside overall pockets. "He happened to tell me some funny but embarrassing story about his friend or whatever…and this morning? Did you not hear the rest of the conversation? I didn't think the age gap was too much but anyone stupid enough to try and chase after a guy who looks that much of a womanizer is just…well, brainless." Winry shook her head. "But I'm still not fixing that wrist for you…that was your fault. Come back when I feel like forgiving you for your crazy assumptions."

With that, Ed was pushed rather forcefully from the garage and had the iron door slammed shut in his face.

-#-

_That was stupid, completely pointless and I have that insane urge to play tonight…_Ed buried his face into the pillow and sniffled. After that rather disastrous meeting with Winry he was completely put out and somewhat depressed for the rest of the day. Al was sympathetic enough to store Ed's violin under his brother's bed, but the mere fact that it was right there, just waiting to be played…

And as the minutes ticked by, Ed knew sensei might start getting very impatient. He could _feel _it-Ed had never refused to follow the urges before. But even so…this wasn't like either of them, to meet so soon…Ed had thought his teacher was mad at him after that incident nearly a week ago…

_Once a month, wasn't that all you could promise me? It used to be much more often than that but you made the meetings lees and less as I grew up…if only my pathetic automail wrist wasn't so bent out of shape…you know I would come running for the chance to hear your voice in my ear again._ Ed smiled faintly, his face still buried into the fabric.

_You used to correct me so much…I was clumsy, unsure of myself…you made me so nervous and I wasn't allowed to see you face. But even now_…Ed's flesh hand, ungloved, crawled under the pillow case until it came into contact with something soft and feathery. _That doesn't matter because I know, though you won't say it, that you…feel the same way as I do…but sensei…_

"I'm so sorry…" Ed whimpered into the pillow. The urge was already fading and he knew that meant his sensei was departing…. "It's all…my fault…I shouldn't have…and I wanted to have a lesson…so bad…"

Ed felt tears spill forth and feeling even more ashamed, he drifted off into a restless sleep.

Nothing stirred for a few minutes and as Ed's body rose and fell in a steady rhythm that betrayed sleep-

A dark form smiled faintly at the sleeping boy as it shimmered into existence. The person approached the bed on weightless feet. _Even in your sleep you still keep your hair all braided up_...his teacher bent down, unable to resist gliding delicate fingers though it. _Oh Eddy-kun, why did you resist me tonight…?_ Ed muttered sadly in his pillow and his teacher's smile turned bemused, sad as unseen eyes flickered over the blond.

_Oh…I see now why you didn't come to me…_the fingers traveled down to Ed's automail wrist and at this Ed twitched in his sleep. _You can't play, not like that…bending your wrist out of shape and all_…fingers now dug a bit more firmly, curiously. The blond shifted and moaned but that didn't stop the questing digits that were now, with an inhuman strength bending and pulling metal back into place…

The smile returned as the last part snapped into place. Ed jerked involuntarily but remained fast asleep.

_Should be fine now…_the dark form straightened up and turned away. _Now, was that so hard? All you would have had to do was come to me anyways…I would have understood had you showed me…so...don't skip tomorrow night's lesson… Eddy-kun…_

And in a blast of warm cold air he vanished.

-#-#-#-

Awww his teacher fixed his wrist! But poor Ed…he wanted to have lessons from his teacher so bad…but his stupid wrist killed it all…darn you Winry!! –shifty eyes-

Hahaha, this chap was a bit longer than the last one…yay…But it didn't shed any more light on anything that's really important…well except the fact that now you can add "easy to make jealous" to Al's list of traits…

So…don't forget to R & R!

(1) I just took a stab in the dark here, trying to come off with a reasonable age that he could be without being too young or too old to be a music teacher, so…heck my own bad teacher's assistant teacher is like 25-26ish?


	5. Reluctant Beloved

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FMA or any of its characters. I do, however own this plot and such so, meh…

**Warnings:** Confusing parts in the very beginning (it might not make much sense), yaoi (boyxboy, don't like then hit the back button or read another fic.), and maybe some OCness…though I'm not quite sure if it's that bad…

There is a good reason for Ed's and Al's seemingly switched personalities…-laughs- it'll become clearer later on..

**Strings of the Heart**

_**Movement 5: **_Reluctant Beloved

_Keep me in your memories…_

_That is all that I ask of you._

-#-

_**Remember me not, Edward, is what I asked of you…and yet, I yearn for you to keep me in your memories…can you do that much for me at least?**_

_A jet black feather floated downward from an unfathomably point and whispered softly past hazel eyes, a small perked nose, smooth, unblemished cheeks. It reached its final destination and wove itself into the recess of blond hair._

_**You love music…and I have given that love new life…therefore you love me as well…**_

_Honeyed eyes closed briefly-the feather shifted with his movements.--you understand how I feel, then… --_

_**But understanding does not bring peace and satisfaction-**_

_--Then you don't love me?--_

_There was a short pause then a soft sigh._

_**That's…neither a matter of importance nor one that should be discussed….you don't understand-**_

_--But sensei, it's you that doesn't understand.—a pause. –This is something that goes deeper than what my intellect can touch, sensei, and just like how you can feel my heartbeat, my breath, I can feel yours too…-- and blindly he reached upwards into the darkness and instantly felt his fingers on his flesh hand brush against a firm, flat chest. The contact was brief-Ed felt his teacher pull back in surprise-but Ed was smiling in the nothingness –Yours is pounding fast too, sensei…-- Teacher's a man…not surprising, with that deep voice, but I hardly care._

_**Edward, I….**__He seemed to swallow nervously. __**I…hadn't expected you…I'm sorry if your disappointed by-**_

_--What? I didn't see your face, so you can hardly say that I would be disappointed by an ugly face…or is it the fact that I found that Teacher actually has a gender?--_

_**The later. I'm sorry**__-_

_--It doesn't matter to me, sensei…. I still love you.--_

_Ed felt him flinch and hastily backing away. Feeling the world shift uneasily beneath him Ed looked upwards and frowned._

_--Sensei…w-what…wait, sensei, where are you going…?—I'm sorry._

_Black wings thrashed forward and engulfed him-for a few paralyzing seconds he couldn't see. Silence, thick, suffocating…_

_**The second Essential Lesson, Edward…**_

…_**Is to know the reason why some things just **__**can't work out**__**…**_

-#-

"…Ed….!Ed…! **ED**!!!"

Something smacked him across Ed's cheek-hard. With a cry, Edward Elric jerked awake and found himself nearly nose to nose with his rather pale-faced brother.

"Waaaargh!!!" Ed gave a strangled cry and toppled off the bed, arms flailing. Another yell-Al was accidentally yanked down to the floor as Ed's normal leg hooked around the back of his ankle. The brother's landed in an unceremonious heap with Ed's toe jabbing itself in Al's side. The two managed to untangle themselves and the older blond sighed as he leaned his back against the bed. The younger Elric rubbed his side, wincing slightly-it had unfortunately been Ed's automail toe poking into his side.

"Al…geez, what was that for? It's too early for this kind of thing…." Ed ran his metal fingers through his hair. "I swear-"

"Okay first off, it's late because we only have ten minutes to get to school-"At this Ed's eyes bulged. "And second, you were twitching in your sleep like you had some weird seizure, and…wait, what the **hell**???"

"What?" His automail hand had paused in its run through his rumpled hair. Al's mouth was flapping open, seemingly having lost its ability to speak. _As funny as that is, what's up with the 'what the hell' comment? And some weird seizure…? What happened to me….?_ "What's wrong with you-you look like you just saw someone come out of the shower naked or something-"

"Your…y-your wrist! Ed, your wrist, **damn** you!" The blond shot his brother a withering 'watch-how-you-speak-to-me' look but Al waved it aside. "Just l**ook** at it, idiot, and then you'll probably understand!"

Ed rolled his eyes, brought his arm down-

And was rendered utterly speechless.

The joints that were half shattered in some places and bent in others were somehow completely restored. Experimentally he flexed and rotated his wrist and frowned as he felt something poke its way out of the metal juncture. Curious now, Al leaned in as his brother plucked at the tip of the object and pulled. It came out smoothly, fluttering faintly. In the bright, early morning light, hazel eyes widened as the sharp outline of a ink black feather fluttered between his flesh fingers on its own accord.

_What…?_

"…B…brother…?" Al whispered, worried eyes flickering to the now blissfully devastated look on Ed's face. _Ed…? What's….why…?_ "Brother…I…what's…what is that….?" _Why do you look so painfully pleased….?_

Ed didn't answer.

"Ed…" Al tried again, this time, reaching out one hand to gently shake him out of his trance. This wasn't like his older brother, to be so out of it…and it was, quite frankly, starting to freak him out.The elder was still gazing down at the feather. "Ed…snap…snap out of it…we're….going to be late for school…Ed…."

"…Sen…sei…" the dazed blond whispered in reverence and Al froze. _Sensei…?_

"Ed…who's…who's sensei…?" Al asked carefully, suddenly suspicious. "You said…sensei in your sleep when I was trying to wake you up-"his brother looked up at him, feather still in hand, and Al gasped. That glazed look… "Is…is that them same one? Was that sensei? Ed? Ed, who's sensei?? Who's sensei?? Tell me! Who. Is. **Sensei**?!"

**The second Essential Lesson, Edward…**

…**Is to know the reason why some things just ****can't work out****…**

"No one!" Ed gasped, a suddenly wild look in his eyes that seemed to come from nowhere. Getting up shakily, he threw the feather on his bed, as if afraid it would burn him. "It's…it's no one! No one!" _You tell me…such conflicting things, teacher…_

**Remember me not…**

"Ed! Ed, why are…why aren't you telling me?" Al felt his voice rising as he angrily grabbed Ed's automail arm. Ed didn't even flinch, but the way he threw him off, that said enough.

**Yet….I yearn for you to keep me in your memories…**

"Ed! What's wrong with you…?" Ed deftly threw on his school uniform, snatched up his gloves and began pulling them on in agitation. The seams stretched in protest but held under the sudden abuse. Gliding past Al, he dug under his bed and retrieved his instrument case. Straightening up and walking past his stunned brother, he deftly yanked up his school bag from his chair and slung it over his shoulder. "Ed what…what are you hiding from me?"

**Can you do that much for me at least?**

Ed paused in his flight, but his brother thought he could have only imagined it. In the blink of an eye he was gone, slamming the door with frightening force that clearly said, end of conversation.

-#-

Roy Mustang's fingers looked bruised that day.

For some odd reason, even in his cold whirl of conflicting emotions, Ed just could not help but notice that fact. It wasn't that he was obsessing or such-no he wasn't like all those other weird fangirls of his-but it was just so _noticeable_…whenever he raised that needle thin baton, when he flipped through the music score…

Mustang's skin was so pale and it just made it stand out even worse.

And to every girl that came up all in a dither asking him what was wrong, what happened, what did he do, he would only casually wave them all of with then same response-

"Sometimes you have to learn that you can't fix everything."

And that was that. Nothing more, nothing less.

But even in that vague answer, for every time he spoke it, there was an odd flicker of emotion in his music teacher's eyes. But every time he saw it, Ed would only toss the assumption aside. The bastard had no real feelings, at least none that he saw…

_No…only when…that first day, when he stood in the center of the room….He looked like he had just gone to a beautiful place and coming back to reality was not something he cherished…_

"Edward Elric…" Said boy looked up, blinking at the speaker and instantly frowned. Mustang's neutral expression turned to one of worry and concern…or no, I must be imagining that, because knowing Mustang, he doesn't have any other emotions… "Are you alright?"

"Huh…?"

Mustang frowned.

"You missed the cue for your part. Again. For the third time in a row."

In unison, his entire section looked over at him and Winry leaned in from behind him.

"Ed! Smart one, pay attention! I'm coming in after you and we're not getting anything done!" She hissed in his ear. Ed looked away, his hand flexing over the neck of his violin. _You're not helping…_

"Winry Rockbell, I am quite sure neither I nor Ed needs your help in this matter…." The wrench throwing girl winced, leaning back in her seat and for the first time in his life, Ed was slightly glad for Mustang butting in. "Now…" He paused, seemingly in deep thought. Then nodding, as if he had made up his mind about something he placed his baton down on the music stand, much to Ed's confusion. He turned and walked to the table right behind him. The blond blinked as he heard the familiar snapping noise of a case being opened.

_What is Mustang…?_

The man turned around, a glossy violin in hand and everything clicked for Ed.

"You're being clumsy about this piece, Edward Elric…" He commented quietly, walking back up to his stand and, keeping both bow and violin in one hand, he panted his foot at the base of the stand and pulled it up. Satisfied with the new height, he looked over at the Elric, making sure he had his attention. "It requires an alignment of all three essentials…" Mustang brought his instrument up to his chin and glanced down at his score. "Your mind, your heart…and your soul…"

In a general sense it could be taken as he was addressing the class, but for Ed it was suddenly something meant only for him. Ed couldn't look away as the onyx eyes male let his gaze flicker upwards.

"It is easy, something that, in essence, the greatest minds in music should know…yet don't…" He laid the bow carefully over the strings and breathing deeply, pulled it delicately over them. The first note rang out with a pure aura that had Ed pinned to his seat. It was that first day all over again…his chest squeezed painfully, breath quickening as Mustang continued to speak, but it was only a mere whisper. "It is an action and the resultant reaction….that is the_ mind's_ alignment…the intellectual understand" Ed shuddered, his automail hand instinctively clenching at his beating heart.

_I can't…look away…_

"The next, is reason…it is the knowledge that comes from knowing that, even with the best of things, there is failures. There are imperfections. Nothing can be made the ultimate, not in this life. That is…the alignment of the _heart_…" Roy had not once looked away from Ed as he spoke and now, it was as if nothing else existed, not even that small space between conductor and the player. The solo that he was being lectured on spilled forth from Roy's own violin, weaving an invisible barrier around student and teacher so that it was only Mustang, and Mustang alone that Ed could focus on. "You must understand these two alignments first or the third, the complete….the soul cann't be realized." Ed felt his eyes welling up as a sudden thought occurred to him.

_Is this why sensei still….is displeased with me…? That I…do not understand…? That I am not…perfect…?_

"You are not playing from the mind, which is the foundation, nor from the heart, which reinforces what the mind lays down…" And slowly, Ed felt himself slipping back into a world where onyx eyes weren't the only thing that existed. And it wasn't with that for-your-ears-only air that Mustang spoke to him anymore, but as if he had been addressing the class the entire time. "You need to put your mind and heart into it before I'm even halfway satisfied with this so …" And suddenly, the music died away and Ed slumped in his chair, breathing harshly. Everyone was deadly silent. "Sit up, Edward and try and keep your attention span longer than five seconds."

With and shaky sigh, Ed brought his instrument up to his chin and shoulder.

And it was as how things should be…right? Where Mustang was the one neutral, egotistically scolding him yet again for petty things as he played…not…not that suddenly blazing passion that was stored all in one look and with it's intensity wrapped itself stubbornly around his soul…That wasn't…how things should have been.

If that's true, Ed thought as he closed his eyes and let the music come to life. _Then why am I so affected by Mustang…_

_As I am…with sensei….?_

-#-#-#-

Waaaa!! Ed's all hot and bothered!! –wilts- Oh man…and tensions are rising between Ed and Al…nooo…

Ah well, anyways, enough from me-read and reviews!


	6. What You Would Give For Perfection

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FMA or any of its characters. I do, however own this plot and such so, meh…

**Warnings:** Confusing parts in the very beginning (it might not make much sense), yaoi (boyxboy, don't like then hit the back button or read another fic.), and maybe some OCness…though I'm not quite sure if it's that bad…

There is a good reason for Ed's and Al's seemingly switched personalities…-laughs- it'll become clearer later on..

**Strings of the Heart**

_**Movement 6:**_ What You Would Give For Perfection

"Ed…" Poke, poke. Said blond huffed, putting his head down on his textbook. "Ed…"

_I'm not in the mood right now, Al_, he grumbled mentally. And really, he wasn't. Physics class was the only one he could afford zoning out in and after that morning's band class, he was too shook up to really do anything else that period_ but_ zone out. All his brain even wanted to focus on Mustang's onyx eyes, the way he spoke that sent those same chills down his spine, as if he were being admonished yet encouraged by Teacher…

"Ed, who's sensei?"

That snapped him out of his semi-trance. His head jerked up, hazel eyes suspicious and wide, knocking his pencil off his desk.

"What do you mean who's sensei?" Ed panicked slightly. Here in class, he couldn't just walk out on Al-and his brother was giving him that don't-you-dare-give-me-that-crap look. _Uh-oh_…His younger brother had been asking him that and it was, what, two times now that he had posed the question. Of course, Ed had pretended that he didn't hear him, but now he couldn't because he had made the mistake of answering back. So Al was now giving him The Look and Ed knew he was really in for it this time.

"Sensei…that person you were all happy but sad about this morning…and you had this freaky weird daydreaming look on your face, kind of like those one's girls get when their thinking about some guy they like…" Al made a face at this and the older Elric winced. Had it shown up that clearly on his face? Well, he hadn't expected his brother to be staring at him right then, but…_I should be more careful next time_…"So who is this person, this sensei you must be thinking about?"

"Al, I told you it's no one, it's nothing, so just drop it already…"Ed sighed and waved his brother off vaguely hoping that would suffice. Well, he obviously didn't know Al well enough because he merely stuck his tongue out and snorted.

"Riiiiight, Ed, it's no one…it's no one so important that you would keep a measly feather that seemed to remind you of this sensei person…it's pretty much no one important enough that you mumbled in your sleep about them, then seem to walk off at ungodly hours to practice for…" Ed froze, eyes suddenly unfocused.

_What…did Al…just say…?_

"What…did you just say?" Ed murmured dangerously. Al wrinkled his nose. Apparently he had just hit the nail on the head, judging from his older brother's face…

"So you admit it-this sensei, whoever they are, actually exists and means something very special to you-"

"That's not the damn point, Al, now tell me what was that last thing you just said!"

"So that's pretty much true too then?" Al tried to keep his voice controlled. All along, ever since _that _day…the day his older brother had turned 6, or was it 5…?… things never were quite right…_but how would I know if things were to begin with?_ "I thought I was only imagining things…that it really couldn't be you just getting up and walking off to some other part of the house with your violin in hand…and the things you whispered when you walked too…I-"

"Al, you must be loosing your mind." It was said so calmly that at first Al couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was loosing _his _mind? And this was coming from Ed…?? Ed dully turned back to his book after diving under the desk to retrieve his pencil. "I really don't know where you got that last part, but I have never walked around at 'ungodly' hours, as you so skillfully put it, with my violin…the only times I get in to practice is the times I normally do-the ones you know about."

"Then how can you explain how you've gotten so good?" Al hissed as their teacher glanced over at them briefly before returning to his grade book. "How can you explain being able to surpass every world renowned teacher within two weeks or less?? You don't play like normal people Ed and it seems to me to be more than a god given gift than anything-it's something beyond what even heavily gifted people are able to accomplish!" Al crossed his arms, frowning deeply. "You have stolen first chair in nearly every single world orchestra after only five minutes of trying out, have brought the best musicians to a puddle of tears from your ability to play, even have gone so far as to compose and play your own numbers all before you turned ten!" Ed watched his brother in fascination as he continued to rant. "And _now_ you tell me that you've been able to reach this level without help? That's sounds highly whacked and suspicious if you ask me…."

"I'm not perfect, yet, Al…" Ed commented with a sigh and Al's just stared back at him incredulously. "It's not enough…"

"How much better can you get, Ed??" The younger male uncrossed his arms. "No, don't answer that-how much better do you think you need to be before you kill yourself from trying?? Look, I care about you and all, but really, you're the best of the best-what more do you _need_?"

"I…"

_I need…to see my sensei's true face…and…I need…his l__**ove**__…above all else…I need that…_

_**And that, Al, is something you would never understand.**_

-#-

Ed was rather surprised, to say the least, during the last period of the day to receive a note from his band teacher. At least he didn't have that last class with Al, because by then he was feeling terrible about what he said during Physics.

_I really…shouldn't have said all that to him_…Ed rubbed his forehead tiredly as his Calculus teacher began passing out the usual Friday test. _I mean…Okay, granted, Al was being a bit pushy but there's a reason for all that isn't there? I guess…I haven't really been myself, not anymore…_Ed closed his eyes and sighed. _Even better-have I ever really been myself? What did define me, or does define me…?_

He began to work out the problems with a bored air.

_Have I ever been…anything but a genius? And is that-me being a genius and all-really who I was and am? Was I born like that?_ The blond flipped to the next page and continued to scribble. Everyone was still musing over the first five_. Even this…how I can just fly though all this material…It's all like second nature. It's something I don't even have to think about…just like music. Music I have never had to think about…well, it's been a while since I actually had to…_

Ed paused, pencil hovering over the paper. No, in fact…

He remembered. He remembered what it was like, had been like to have to really think about what he was playing, how he played…

What it was like to not be _almost perfect_.

-#-

"No…no, Edward, you're not doing it right….here…"

A very short, honey blond haired boy frowned, eyes watering. The hand that held the small violin in one hand trembled.

"But I was...wasn't I doing it like you, teacher?"

The middle aged man sighed.

"You know what Edward…" big hazel eyes looked up at the man. "Maybe…maybe it would be best…if maybe you started out smaller and tried not to aim so high…perhaps another instrument-"

"No!" The small boy burst out, eyes now streaming with tears. "I…I don't wanna! I've always, always wanted to learn…how to play…this…play like all those professionals…"

"It takes…time, Edward. And patience" A sigh. "Something you just don't have…"

"But I do!" Stubbornly, the 5 year old brought the instrument back up to his chin and shoulder. But even with his stubborn bravado his hands were trembling. Ed sniffled. "I…I can…"

"Edward, you have to learn when things…are just too much for you at a certain age." Now the man was shaking his head. "Your parents are expecting something of you that is completely unrealistic and-"

"Don't SAY that! I know my limits!" The blond screeched and, in a moment of blind rage he raised the hand that clutched at the violin and with a cry, threw the instrument to the ground. It snapped and shattered with a gut-wrenching sound of twisting wood and breaking strings. Hazel eyes widen and in that moment it wasn't just the instrument that shattered in a thousand brilliant pieces, but something inside of him. There was a deadly silence filled only by the short half chocked sobs that came from the small Elric. Finally-

"This is what I meant, Edward Elric." The voice, surprisingly calm, now had a suddenly cold edge to it. "Well, it's safe to say you won't be playing that instrument for a while. I'm sorry, Edward, "But he didn't sound sorry at all as he turned away from the shuddering boy. "But you have to learn some day that you just can't be as perfect as your parents want you to be…" and the door slammed shut.

-#-

"I hate him, I hate him, I hate him…" Hours later found the 5 year old Edward sitting all alone in the very room he picked up and shattered his very first violin. His parents, after finding out what happened and hearing both Ed's teary side and the teacher's, had not scolded Ed at all, but had immediately fired the man for making their son cry.

"Eddy, don't listen to that man…" His mom crouched down, ruffling his hair. "You will always be perfect and I know you will become perfect some day…" And Al, who had been quietly working in the other corner of the room on Biology merely looked up with brooding, sad eyes.

"But you're lying to me aren't you mommy…?" Ed whispered to his broken violin as he sniffled loudly. His parents had left him and his broken violin to their own devices and that had found Ed crying pathetically over it for almost four hours now. The room was slowly darkening and though he hated the dark with a passion, he couldn't bring himself to get up off the floor. "I…can't be perfect….can I…? Nothing's perfect, right? I made mistakes so that means I'm not perfect…" _And Al…._

Al was the model son-he was maybe two years younger than him…? Already he was well versed in English, Japanese and Spanish, was now trying to pick up French, had flown through math and science books like there was no tomorrow…

_And all I can do is just sit here…and be the defected one…the imperfect son…_

Ed reached out and touched the broken, splintered wood and almost felt its dejected screaming, just like it had done so earlier that day.

_All I have is my love for music…the only thing that I think that I could ever come close to perfecting….but now…_ Ed closed his eyes in pain. "I did something _terrible_…and even though I wasn't punished for this…my own self-inflicted punishment is enough. My own guilt and aching soul is the price I pay…"

Pale moonlight streamed in from a large ornate window that stretched from about a foot from the floor nearly to the ceiling. Ed turned his watery gaze there, marveling at the full moon.

_And even the moon…it's so round, full, __**perfect**__ tonight…_

Ed wrenched his gaze away from the moon and, on impulse, grabbed at the shattered neck of the violin and hissed as the wood bit into his hands. Tossing his head back in pain, he held the pieces to his heart and screamed, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"I would give up my right arm and leg if only I could be _almost perfect!!!_"

A soft whisper of hot cold air brushed pat his ear. Shuddering and sniffling, the blond boy looked down as he felt the broken pieces vibrating and humming in his hands. Blinking, Ed gasped and cried out as the pieces suddenly flew from his hands, along with the embedded portions of wood in his hands. Encased in a soft glow, the violin slowly began to piece itself together, restringing itself and thrumming softly as if someone was plucking those very strings. Ed's heart pounded wildly. This must have been all some weird wistful dream…he had to have fallen asleep…this defied all laws of nature, cause and effect…

_**There are many things that will defy logic…Edward.**_

Ed gasped, looking around futilely for the speaker of the voice. But there was no one in the room. He really must have lost his sanity….

_How did the…whoever it was…how did it…know my name…and why…am I still dreaming…?_

The violin, now completely restored floated itself to lie gently in the trembling boy's lap. Fearing that to touch it would bring some strange curse on him, he planted his hands behind his back on the floor, staring down at his new reconstructed instrument. Surely he would wake up now and find this all but a wishful dream…

But he was still awake, And the instrument was still glowing softly. Ed was afraid to touch it. This wasn't real. None of this. He would have to wake up soon…his brother would be wondering what was keeping older brother in bed so late with no one to practice his skills on memorize the table of elements on…

Which only reminded him again of how imperfect he was. He squeezed his eyes shut. What a thing to think of at such a time…He didn't want to even touch his glowing instrument-who knew what had just been done to it?

_**Pick it up, Edward. It won't bite.**_ The voice coaxed in such a gentle, sincere way, that Ed found himself left with no choice but to obey. With small, trembling fingers he grasped the neck, afraid it would either shatter again into a billion pieces or else dissolve into nothingness. He was only further startled as it merely warmed up in his grasp, almost-no, it was singing to his touch and with a small noise, he tried to yank his hand away. To his horror he found that he couldn't and with a start realized that he simply wouldn't…

Wouldn't bite his foot…

And speaking of his foot…

"W-what's…Ed cried out softly as the glow now intensified wrapping itself around his right arm and left foot. It crawled upwards, soft, white, like feathers and Ed found himself giggling-

Until the searing burn began.

Ed didn't know he could have screamed so loud in his life and the last thing he remembered before he sank into darkness was a soft deep voice tickling his ear-

_**Be careful what you wish for…because you just **__**got it.**_

It was the night before his 6th birthday.

-#-

_And that was the beginning of my special lessons with sensei…_Ed was now on the last page of the 100 question test. _He taught me almost all the secrets of music…and those secrets have made me surpass every earthly, even some of the most unnaturally gifted with ease…I lost my right arm and left leg quit literally, but in return…_

_In return, I was shown the path to nearly ungodly perfection. The voice that had spoke to me told me to refer to it as Sensei or Teacher and form then on I did…I had never cared to ask his name-why did I need it? I had everything I could ever want-and with that musical gift he nurtured I also gained something else-an unnatural boost in my intellect. Now it was I who was mastering ten different languages, I who was running through all the math and science books like picture book, I who was being dotted on as the blooming genius of the family and Al….he was suddenly lagging farther and farther behind. And by the time he turned ten he was acting like a normal kid-sure his IQ was ridiculously higher than average, but I…went beyond the charts._ Ed smiled and put his pencil down. He had finished the test in ten minutes-and had nearly an hour to kill in Calculus. It was then that he noticed the note that a student aid had dropped on his desk.

Folded only three times in a neat little rectangle one word was scrawled on the outside, making it addressed to him. Frowning, he unfolded it and biting his lip read silently-

_Edward-_

_Please come down to the band room today right after school-I have some urgent things I need to discuss with you. Do not bring your brother Alphonse with you-I hear he has a tendency to be a bit nosy where it doesn't concern him. Obviously, being your brother, it probably can't be helped, but I urge you not to bring him along. I will be expecting you._

_-__**Roy Mustang**_

Hazel eyes unfocused, he reread it once, twice-

"Stupid bastard!" Ed swore loudly. The whole class jumped and all head swiveled in his direction. Ed realized in a moment of brilliant realization that he was in a classroom. A classroom full of students still taking a difficult (but not to Ed) test. Ed promptly shrank in his chair-which shouldn't have been any more possible, given that he wasn't much in a chair to begin with…

"Who signs a note with their first name...?" Ed mumbled to himself, tucking the paper hastily into his pocket. _And who does he think he is anyways, ordering me not to bring my brother…? _Ed did not take too well with people that bossed him around-it was bad enough when Mustang exercised it on him. But to his brother…??

Even so, when the bell finally released the students for the end of the day, Ed still found himself weaving though the masses and, seemingly on its own accord, his legs carried him straight to the band room…

-#--#--#-

O.o….

Oh…wow…so now we find out why Ed has that automail arm and leg and his strange obsession with being perfect is slowly destroying his life…

At the end though…oh wow I would have died of embarrassment if I was caught having that sudden outburst in the middle of a test like that. Yeah, Ed's a genius and all and a teacher's favorite, but even that merit has its limits…I couldn't help myself-it was getting a bit too heavily angsty and not so much…well, yeah…

Anyways…hmmm, now Mustang wants to see Ed in private…after school…?? And man, he must be on something, giving Ed his first name and all…Roy what are you on…? –shifty eyes- and the important news…

Hmmn, wonder what that could be…

Anyways, there's my weird random rambling –smiles- don't forget to his the little purple/blue (for some people) button and review!


	7. Talks and Closer Contact

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FMA or any of its characters. I do, however own this plot and such so, meh…

**Warnings:** Confusing parts in the very beginning (it might not make much sense), yaoi (boyxboy, don't like then hit the back button or read another fic.), and maybe some OCness…though I'm not quite sure if it's that bad…

There is a good reason for Ed's and Al's seemingly switched personalities…-laughs- it'll become clearer later on..

**Strings of the Heart**

_**Movement 7: **_Talks and Closer Contact

Ed slammed the door to the band room open, re, ready to give Mustang hell for making him ditch his brother. _And I was planning to apologize to him right then to-_

But any attempts at rage died on his tongue as soon as he heard the low clear tone of a violin.

Ed leaned against the doorway, dumbstruck as for a few brief blissful moments the music, hauntingly familiar, wrapped around his shivering form. He deftly, unconsciously rubbed at his automail arm before realizing that he couldn't experience goosebumps on that arm anymore…

_It's like that first time…I saw him…all over again…_

Mustang was sitting on a black swivel chair, much like one that could be seen used by top executives. Deep black eyes fluttered shut; he held his instrument firmly but delicately, fingers dancing in impossible arpeggios. Ed was now naturally drawn to him in an almost critical way-no, not an appraising way, he firmly told himself. But was that true? Ed gazed at the man, breathing deeply in time to the notes sprawling from skilled fingers. Draw up…slid…dive down…and hazel eyes traveled slowly to Mustang's face. Pale, brow only with the faintest crease of concentration, he seemed otherwise almost absentminded…dark, long eyelashes fluttered slightly on his cheeks then stilled and Ed quickly looked away.

_His eyelashes are rather long…_Ed forced himself to look back at him and was met with a sudden silence and two slightly blank-looking onyx eyes.

"So you came Edward." Ed felt a deep pang of-disappointment? resentment?-as the male lowered the violin resting below his chin. "I was hoping you would-"

"Just get to the point already." Ed's old, irritated mood returned with a vengeance. He shifted on his feet, realizing with a sinking heart that he would have had to come here anyways to pick up his instrument, even in Mustang didn't call him down. Crap. "I need to go home, Al's probably ticked because of what I said to him earlier and I don't have time for your shitting me."

Roy blinked, setting his instrument down in its open case next to his feet. _Yet another new little cuss word you flying my way..._

"Your brother, I presume then? What happened?" The man seemed to have the nerve to actually sound like he cared. And the expression to match it…Ed realized too late that he had let his traitorous mouth slip loose again. That only set off the already smoldering anger within Ed. He was mad at himself for everything else already and Roy had only just lit the last straw in setting his dormant rage ablaze.

"It's none of your DAMN business!" Ed shouted, fists clenching. "You think you're so high and mighty, criticizing me every sadistic chance you get! What am I, your damn scapegoat for all your own little flaws??" Ed sighed, running his fingers through his rather frazzled bangs. "Look, I just don't have the time for any crap and if you have nothing important to tell me except to nit pick me, then you and your ego can stick it because I have nothing to say to you!"

"But I do." Roy whispered dangerously, closing the lid of his case shut with his foot. Ed winced visibly as the lid slammed shut with a bang. That was no way to treat an instrument case that rare in that way-! "This thing's gone though more abuse than your flimsy one could handle, which is more than I can say for its owner." Ed opened his mouth to give him another nasty retort but his teacher beat him to it. "But not that I have nor ever would-I treasure it too much. Now as for everything else you threw so ungraciously in my face-I do not think myself high and mighty. No in fact, I think myself rather pathetic." At this Ed snorted in disbelief.

"Right, and the way you play is pathetic." Ed glanced down to the closed case with bitter envy. "You…play…_ perfectly_." Roy drew back slightly, then straightened up in the chair. After a pause. he rose from it and stood up, shaking his head.

"Then you really are a bit too foolish for your own good. I am not perfect, Edward, no one is…did I not teach you that this morning? The alignment of the heart is in knowing that there will be imperfections. So, in leading to that next little comment, I don't scapegoat anyone for my own mistakes…or, well, no scratch that." Roy rested his index finger on his right temple in a parody of deep thinking. "In fact…the only person I have never scapegoat my own 'flaws' as you put it, is _you_." Now it was Ed who looked taken aback, not by his words so much as the sincerity in his voice. _I don't think…I've ever heard him say anything so truthfully transparent_… "I have done so all my life, blaming others constantly for my misfortunes. But never _you_…."

Ed folded his arms defensively and tried to ignore the slow increase in his heart rate.

"And for all my nit picking, it's done you a lot of good actually-"

"Yeah right! Done me good!" Ed snorted in scorn, tugging on the end of his braid. "As if! Did me enough good to cause me a huge headache whenever I left your class-"

"But you're playing better, getting better because of it…" Mustang interjected calmly, crouching down to pick up his case. Ed noted once again, how careful he was in handling it and wondered vaguely if he had ever treated anyone else with that soft, gentle respect…

_No. Wait….what…where did that…where did I get that from…? Stop thinking like that! He's a bastard! Bastard, bastard, bastard..._

"No I'm not." Ed lied stubbornly, folding his arms even more defensively. After a rather incredulous look and a raised eyebrow, Ed huffed. "Well, maybe just a little bit…" And Mustang smirked, setting Ed off on yet another short burst of temper. "And what the hell's with that smirk of yours? You know that that look…" Ed searched for the right word and the only that came up was-"…pisses… me off when you do it…"

"That's why I do it." Roy chuckled lightly as he disappeared into his office for a few minutes before reappearing. "Because you just get so worked up over the smallest things…"

"You find some sick humor in that, don't you bastard…?" Ed mumbled under his breath. At this Mustang raised one eyebrow.

"Your vocabulary's gotten very colorful these past two weeks-"

"Oh has it really been that long since you've been around?" Ed grumbled loudly as he stalked off past the black haired man into the instrument room. The nerve of that man…! Commenting on everything he said now as if he were telling someone a rather dull story. _He acts like he's very familiar with me…_ "Because I could really have sworn it was much longer than that."

"So then, it's all because I happened to show up? That's the reason for all the cuss words?" Roy was leaning on the doorway to the smaller room with his arms crossed as Ed pulled out his case from the shelf. Roy couldn't help that half smile, half smirk-was that even possible?- from erupting on his face. "That's rather enlightening, am I supposed to feel special now?"

"No, you selfish prick, argh!" Ed swore loudly as the case accidentally half crushed his flesh finger. "Owwww…" He quickly yanked the violin case up and off his finger and lugged it comfortably in his automail hand. Hand that dropped on his automail finger…he really didn't want to think about that one.

"Oh that's a new one too…let me guess, you picked it up from Al too?" Mustang commented airily as Ed stomped past him. Ed whirled on him, glaring.

"Okay, I really am getting fed up with your familiar attitude-don't joke around me like you've known me since I was like 5, because you obviously haven't! And Al has nothing-okay, yes he does but that's not the point here!" Ed closed his eyes in frustration for a minute, then reopened them. "You said you wanted to discuss something urgent with me. Now, get to the point-what is it?"

_How ironic…_

"A bit persistent, aren't we? Show a little of that during class some time and I probably would let you off half the time anyways…" Mustang really couldn't help that jab but apparently he didn't know the rather astonishing affect of those words-or rather one word in particular.

"What?? HEY, WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO LITTLE HE COULDN"T KEEP UP THE STUBBORNESS OF A BASTARD HALF AS PERSISTANT AS YOU ARE??" Ed made a rather comical display of stomping on the ground and waving his arms around crazily. Somehow, Mustang noted with a weird sense of calm that his violin case seemed to not fly open even under Ed's violently erratic movements. After Ed seemed to finally calm down, Roy snickered.

"I didn't say anything like that, Edward. Now, if you quite losing that rather short temper of yours I could actually get around to-"

"I AM **NOT** SHORT!!" And suddenly it dawned on Roy.

_Ohhhhh……!! Little…short…he __**hates**__ those words…_

"I didn't say that, for the last time Edward, now sit down before you have a hernia or something equally bloody…" Sighing and looking slightly burnt out, Ed plopped down in one of the chairs the class normally used for practice. "Now…" Roy paused, wondering vaguely what words to choose to grant the least explosive response.

_Because either way, when he understands the full implications…_

"First off, this is really something quite…random, I suppose but…" Roy gazed at him intently, with all seriousness. "Have you had any private tutors or have had private tutoring?"

Instantly, Ed's mind went to two people-the man who said he wasn't patient enough, who told him right before his 6th birthday that he could never really make it…

And the man who became everything that Ed wanted to be-and more.

"Yes.." And a small rare, distant smile plastered itself on his face. Roy seemed to frown for a fleeting moment but he shrugged.

"That's to be expected, of course…at this level, there had to be something else that came into play, not just your genius…" Was it just him, or was their a hidden implication in Roy's words? Or was it, like Al, just a well-thought out suspicion? "Well, then are you currently under a tutor right now?"

Ed glanced up at him for a few minutes-what was that? He opened his mouth and froze.

_What…am I supposed to say? I do yet I don't…The question seems innocent enough, but…I'm getting a weird feeling about this…In fact I'm getting a weird feeling by all of this…_Ed forced himself to look away from the man yet a second time to focus his gaze on his case. _I mean…well, this is the first slightly civilized conversation we've had and as much as I don't like to admit it…when the tweak's not criticizing me he's not half bad…Maybe._

Despite that he nodded slightly and this time, there was an odd blank look on Mustang's face.

"Oh…funny, but I found a black feather lying by your chair this morning after you left…" Ed reeled slightly in the chair, looked up and instinctively shrank back against it.

_What…?? Why does Mustang suddenly look…betrayed?_

The older male indeed looked a bit betrayed and suddenly-scandalized? "Nothing big, but I saw it fall out of your case…and…well…You haven't…been…_hurting_ anything…living have you?" And Ed almost burst out laughing in relief. But knowing Roy, it would have come off as being very, very unusual if he started laughing now. _He thought I was…killing birds or something?? Oh wow….that's just…well…_

"What? You sicko, no, no…"Ed still couldn't contain a rather nervous laugh. "I don't do that kind of thing, but honestly where did _that_ come from?" _For the life of me, I…where did __**that**__ topic come from…?_

"Well," Mustang dug into his pocket before extracting an inky black feather. Instantly, Ed's eyes traveled to it. "It looked a bit too long, wide and unusual for just any bird, but…it seemed like it meant a lot to you, if you carried it around in your violin case of all things…" Ed frowned. _That's a very dangerous assumption…Mustang._

"And you would assume this…how?" But inwardly Ed was shuddering_. Mustang…you're treading on shaky, dangerous grounds now…so be careful…_

"Ah, that's the question of the day isn't it?" The man smiled finally taking a seat next to the wary blond. "It seems to be a habit of all violinists really, and it's not surprising that you, with the talent you posses, do what professionals do…" He glanced down briefly, winding his long fingers delicately over the feather. "They store keepsakes…of _beloveds,_ people they hold incredibly dear to themin the cases to remember them, to feel strengthened…and the habit, if I'm not mistaken, hasn't escaped you as well…"

The words registered and in a small part of Ed's brain he was panicking greatly over it. Was his deep love that apparent, that anyone, who knew the signs, could read into it? But another part of him-a very large part- was more interested in what Mustang's own violin case told-if it had anything to tell about anyone he held as "beloved".

"Oh…well, I guess it hasn't then…" Ed mumbled, fingering the edge of it, inadvertently telling the man that, yes, it was a keepsake, a reminder of someone akin to a lover. _But…has it escaped yours, Mustang? Or…is there someone you hold beloved too…?_

"Well, then I suppose this is yours, I might as well give it back, it's really not rightfully mine anyways…"

Ed sighing inwardly in relief took the feather and the awkward moment between them-Ed suddenly realizing that there had been one-had finally passed.

"Which now brings me to what I meant to tell you." Ed now sat up a bit, more attentive, slipping the feather into his pocket. "Your parents called me this morning after class, telling me…about hiring a new tutor for you. Apparently, they thought it was time you started getting someone who could be steady with you and apparently, hearing about my wonderful-but not to me-credentials, they asked my opinion."

"And what…did you tell them?" Ed asked slowly. He already wasn't liking the sound of this…

"That I wasn't sure…that maybe hiring a tutor without your consent, now that you're actually old enough to decide, wasn't the smartest things in the world…" _And with your kind of temperament, it really isn't…_he added to himself as an afterthought.

"Well, that's rather _noble_ of you to stick up for my '_best interests'_ and I'm so indebted to you." Ed grumbled dryly. "I've dealt with my parents before on this, so don't get all worked up over nothing…"

"Hm. I see then." There was a long silence after this. Ed, slightly nervous now, turned to look at the clock and Mustang seemed to understand the gesture immediately.

"Is that all, Mustang?" Ed inquired politely, this time with no trace of sarcasm. Roy nodded. Nodding in return, Ed made a movement to get up but was suddenly stopped by the man's sudden grip on his wrist.

_Eh…?_

"I just hope…" He whispered quietly. "That you won't get too…stressed out…when you get home today. By anyone…or anything you hear..."

Trying to ignore the slight heat creeping into his face, Ed casually yanked his hand away-which had thankfully been his left one- and turned away. It wasn't uncomfortable being touched by Mustang-and that alone was what disturbed him. It was in his familiarity in dealing with him, and that too…like it was all natural for him to just reach out and grab a hold of his wrist…he couldn't stand being around him half the time as it was and yet…

_It doesn't bother me…_

_Which is why it disturbs me the most._

"Smart one, with a teacher like you, there's not much more I can get stressed out about…"

And Ed, actually using his brain for once, made a record breaking exit.

-#-

When Ed got home he was greeted by a sudden flurry of maids twittering past him and the rather large entertainment room. Ed rolled his eyes and catching Al in the very far corner of the room looking back at him, his younger brother made a gagging motion. Ed busted up laughing, which had seemingly gone unnoticed by the maids-all of whom were female. Well at least Al doesn't seem mad at me any more…but I'll still talk to him later… A maid greeted him cheerfully-way too cheerfully from normal standards. Ed meekly answered back and walked into the room. It was then he could keenly hear the latest "gossip."

"Oh…really, now did you see…?"

"Such a handsome, simply beautiful-"

"He has no right to be male and yet that pretty…!"

"Ohhhh, so then you must be jealous!"

"Well, who wouldn't be?" A maid looked intently at Ed and wincing he edged away from the group. "I mean, Master Edward Elric is under him, has all his attentions…"

"Oh please, the man can't be gay, with his looks." Another twittered. "I mean, goodness, his smile-!"

"Urgh save me now…" Ed moaned quietly, walking out of the room. Girls gossiping about guys…and like that? He'd always had enough sense to stay away from most of the maids anyways-especially the way his younger brother always caused hell for them. Apparently, by the sound of that, that meant there was a visitor. It must have been a very, very good looking one, since they hadn't been in this much of an uproar since…well, since never.

_I can't believe them…girls…_Ed shook his head again and walked out of the room. _It's just a visitor, nothing more…geez, but that was unexpected…wait, didn't they say something about him being here for me or something? Oh no…_He rubbed his forehead. _That better not be for that whole tutoring thing…awwww, man…._

"I am really going to have a talk with them…" The blond growled. _They're not supposed to just go off like this and-_

But his line of thought was interrupted when, out of nowhere, a warm gentle hand laid itself on Ed's shoulder and a voice whispered,

"A talk with whom….Edward…?"

Hazel eyes shot open and with a jolt he realized…

_It's him…!_

-#-#-#-

Waaaa!! Evil cliff ahngers!!! –winces- not cool I know…but meh, who's "him"? gaaaaa….

Ehehehe…I know you all might want to hurt me but please reviews-hurting le author will not solve anything…-laughs nervouslynd hugs dragon plushie-


	8. Comparisons and Muddled Perceptions

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FMA or any of its characters. I do, however own this plot and such so, meh…

**Warnings:** Confusing parts in the very beginning (it might not make much sense), yaoi (boyxboy, don't like then hit the back button or read another fic.), language, and maybe some OCness…though I'm not quite sure if it's that bad…

There is a good reason for Ed's and Al's seemingly switched personalities…-laughs- it'll become clearer later on..

Also, I'm not sure of this yet, but I might not be able to update for about two-three days after Thursday this week because I might be gone camping-however, when I get back, I should be able to –grins-

**Strings of the Heart**

_**Movement 8:**_ Comparisons and Muddled Perceptions

Heart pounding, Ed whirled around. _I would know that voice anywhere, even in my sleep…_

"Sensei-"the whisper caught in his throat, but the affectionate words meant after that died in his throat. There was a short, splintering silence then- "The_ hell_ was that for, bastard Mustang extraordinaire??" _Your voice…fooled me…_

"You always seem to come up with the most interesting titles for me Edward." Roy Mustang smiled down at him, one hand still resting on the shorter boy's shoulder, the other carrying a violin case. He squeezed Ed's shoulder tenderly and the blond shrugged him off. Apparently, Mustang was completely oblivious to the affect he just had on his new private charge.

"Shut up, you tweak and don't _do_ that…" He rubbed his shoulder to make a point but Roy intentionally pressed-

"Don't do what?"

"Sneak up behind me like that and…and…" Ed shuddered rubbing his shoulder even more. "Argh, you know what I mean, damn it!" He glared up at him just as his parents and Al made their entrance. _Don't you dare lay your hands on me or touch me like that ever again…_

"Oh, well hello there." Ed's mother greeted the man with a warm smile. The elder Elric child merely scowled as Roy smiled back. "Mr. Roy Mustang, I presume? I'm so terribly sorry and I apologize for the short notice-"

"None needed, Mrs. Elric and it's such an honor and pleasure to meet you. And you can drop the 'Mr.'-I tell my students that it makes me feel older than what I am." Ed had to hand it to the guy; he knew when to lay on the praise thick. _But really it's quite sickening_…Ed's mother continued to smile, but it seemed much more genuine now.

"Now…I already made inquiries to the school about credentials and such and also to your employment." At this, Ed seemed to note a short flicker of concern on Mustang's face. "Don't worry, your time here won't in any way conflict with your time in secular teaching…in fact I'd think it rather advantageous for you to teach both at school, with Ed in the full band, and him without after school. It will give you a better perspective in Ed's capabilities…"

"Actually, Mrs. Elric, I'm fully aware of them." The black haired man nodded faintly. "My assessments can be very brief, but they tell me all I need to know…you understand my methods of course, if you've looked into my credentials…" He glanced over at Ed, lingeringly, and the blond felt as if he had been pinned to the very spot. It was as if in a strange thrall-but without music to hold him there. He realized with a cold horror that Mustang didn't need music to keep him standing there in a frazzled daze-not anymore. Especially not with that deep, searching gaze he now aimed at him…

"Well, this much I can say-just from the looks of him, he's done extraordinarily well ever since his 6th birthday, I believe? His talent grew enormously in that timeframe to the point where he was able to secure first chairs in various world orchestras and even compose his own pieces of music that of which ten of those have gained much attention within the musical world. He has spent only a week at a time, always switching between tutors and, it seems…" He frowned slightly, pausing here. Edward, by this point after Roy's short little speech, was shell shocked. Had the bastard been poking his nose into his personal life? His eyes flickered to Al, who also looked extremely shocked. Well, that ruled out his last, but rather unpleasant assumption-Al couldn't have told Mustang anything, not if he looked like that…

_If he's as shocked as I'm feeling, then no..._Ed frowned_. Then again, with that whole thing with Winry…oops, I haven't told him what she told me and so he still probably thinks what I assumed as well…that might explain his slightly ticked off look too…_

"So you haven't had anything better to do than poke your nose in my brother's life?" Al cut the silence, eyes flickering dangerously. Startled, Ed glanced over at him then back to his new private tutor. He knew that look and tone of voice in Al's voice. And that was spelling trouble- fast. His parents seemed to know the warning signs as well, but for some reason wasn't make a move to keep Al quiet. "Apparently, it seems you can't keep your pedophiliac tendencies to yourself…" At this Ed felt something indignantly well up inside of him, but his mother beat him to it.

"Al!" her sharp tone made the younger boy cringe. "That is no way to speak to a man such as Roy Mustang is!" Al snorted and looked away and Ed blinked, somehow seeing himself, yet not in his younger brother…

_Was that…how I was supposed to be? It's as if we…are completely opposite…_

"Right, as if you know him all that well aside form his oh-so-great files or wherever you got your info from." Al turned to Ed. "I feel sorry for you, but hell, I'll tell you right now-forget being mad at you, I'm more mad at this guy than I could ever be at you. Yeah, I know you probably thought I would be when you've been avoiding all those questions I asked you from earlier, but hey," He grinned. "Do you honestly think I won't protect my brother from a pedophile?" His parents shot him a death glare and with a shug, he turned away. "Later, Ed, I'm gonna go now and finish up my work…oh and before I forget…" He was already at the door, but he gave one last withering glance at Mustang. "Keep your hands off my brother, you prick…"

Mustang raised an eyebrow faintly, watching Ed's brother slam the door shut. No one twitched. Sighing, Ed's new tutor finally broke the awkwardness.

"Nothing I haven't heard before…." He shrugged Al's words off then turned to Ed's parents, who looked slightly horrified by their youngest son's behavior. "Oh, and don't look so traumatized-I get that from other students sometimes…" Ed grimaced. _Yeah, ummm and the only student you get that from is me…_

"Well, at any rate, perhaps I should get started with Edward, then?" the blond looked like he had swallowed something particularly sour but smiled faintly at his parents' smiles and nods. _Great, an extra hour or two with the bastard…I might as well kill myself now, sensei…but no matter, _Ed concluded as he followed Mustang into a private room, _I know I have my promises to you…_

_And I fully intend to keep them._

-#-

"Edward! This is absolute ridiculous!" A deep voice was practically snarling. "You can **not** expect me to take you playing like this seriously!"

Ed merely lowered the violin, smirking inwardly. Good. If Mustang was irritated enough…_maybe he'll just leave me the hell alone, with no distractions…nothing to come between my one and only desired lessons._

And besides, now it was a small price to pay for his own throbbing ears to see that same strained annoyance mimicked on the man's face. _That's what you get for two weeks of annoyance and for making me mistake you for sensei…with that voice, you deceived me, made me actually…you really are a bastard._

"Well, I guess you'll either have to suck it up or get out." Ed replied calmly. And he meant every word of it. He had only anticipated dealing with the man at only one week tops at school. He had already exceeded that limit. And here, though he was very, very unhappy about it, he only expected to deal with this guy for less than that. But with the way things had been going… Roy sighed, plopping down on one of the two chairs pulled out for the both of them. Ed was sitting down comfortably and was only slightly irked as the older male now sat at eye level.

"Which I'm sure you know as well as I do, that I never will. I'm entirely more stubborn than you think." Thin fingers carefully laid the instrument in his lap. "And, if you ever want my respect, like you've gotten from so many other tutors before me, then you'll have to earn it-"

"Who said I ever wanted your respect at all?" A burning silence settled. Ed set his own violin in his lap and folded his arms. _That's right, big surprise and a blow to your ego, eh?_ "You're an insolent, pig-head, egotistical self-centered man who's talents, though is something admirable, is not something I'll respect, nor in return, will I ask respect from the same man."

"It is something much more than talent, _Edward_…" Mustang hissed, eyes narrowed, bringing his violin back up to rest comfortably under his chin. Smoky eyes were locked on hazel ones, making a point to bore into them. "And you know it…" In that the implications were almost too clear yet disturbingly conflicting. Ed cocked his head to one side, a stormy frown forming on his face. Roy pulled the bow upwards, resting them firmly on the stings, all the while not pulling his eyes away from Ed's.

A sick fear struck him-he knew that once the black haired male began to play, he was lost. And, as far as his bravado statements went, he knew, as well as his tutor did, that his playing far exceeded that of the students'. It was a perfection that not even Ed could have reached with the violin he held in his trembling hands-the same one that he had smashed and had repaired again, all in one day. And both knew it. And, even more damning, they both knew that Ed wouldn't be able to stay away.

_No…you know what will happen…to me_…Ed squeezed his eyes shut as the faintest whisper of a note floated upwards. _You…you know the effect you have on me when you play…like nothing I've ever experienced before…it's a perfection that I would think only my sensei could achieve, had he played for me more so I could hear and compare…_

There had only been two rare occasions when Ed had the great blessing of hearing his beloved play. And for that short time that he had played, he had only fallen even harder for the master of all teachers, whose face he couldn't and wasn't allowed to see. He had only stared in aw as long graceful fingers firm yet delicate that could have betrayed either gender, produced sounds so hauntingly beautiful that his very being wished for nothing more than to be that music being played, to have that rare opportunity and gift to flow from under those fingers in a pleasing melody of sound.

_And now…you're almost making me feel…exactly like that…_

Ed made an incoherent sound in the back of his throat, his eyes still squeezed shut against the slowly uprising onslaught of sound. But his tutor wouldn't stop. Forget Al speaking of any physical violations-this felt like a more intimate violation of his soul, one that would not leave a mark on the physical body for any one to see but something much more damaging, much more harder to detect. It would leave a mark on his soul. But why would it even bother him so, to listen to someone else, nearly just as unearthly skilled if nothing had ever bothered him before?

He had sat though listening to the most cultured of musicians and emerged from listening without so much as even a small flicker of emotion on his face. He just didn't _feel_ it-right _there_, a spot right in the center of his heart, below it and in his gut. It didn't permeate his senses, drowned him, make him believe briefly that music could indeed be the best medicine of any kind for soothing the troubled mind…

No, he just wasn't affected enough……at least by anyone among the living.

Until now.

This felt almost…forbidden. A violation on both himself and his true teacher, the man who did not dare show his face. He was meant to regard him and only him as being supreme to all else-he had no right to even consider-

That someone else might just be…as otherworldly as him, in this life…

And at these thought, the violin being used so exquisitely by Mustang pierced another spot in Ed's being and Ed shuddered, sucking in a deep breath. This was a morbid sin, something that he should _die_ for…He shouldn't be sitting here, listening in almost the same trance like rapture that held him in that very same room countless nights before…when it was only words that were spoken to his soul that kept him playing, not the sound of a nearly divine violin with strings vibrating.

_Because now, sensei, I... can't help but compare__** you**__ to him…_Ed felt like wanting to hide somewhere, perhaps under a rock, and refuse to come out. _I think you shouldn't be so kind to me our next lesson…this too, is probably why I am not good enough for you…_Ed felt hot tears sting his closed eyelids. _I am too easily swayed by those living in the hear and now…and I'm…you know everything that's wrong with me, just like Mustang…oh god, and here I go again…forgive me…sensei…I know…you must be watching me even now, and the appraising expression on my face is probably bringing you nothing but pained annoyance._

_Is that what you wanted, Roy Mustang?_ The blond thought in deep bitterness as the music swelled unpretentiously. _Is putting me in a state of utter turmoil something you've been aiming to do? Because you've done a pretty good job of completely unsettling me without so much as even laying a hand on me…not counting earlier today, but just now, only with music and soundless tunes that are reminiscent of things only I have made up and that sensei could have heard…_

There was a short pause and Edward was suddenly aware of loud, sniffling sobs breaking that serene silence. But even before the music began yet again, Ed had already realized that those sobs were coming from him.

_I really am truly a wreck now…not only has he forced this comparative train of thought on me, he's heard, seen my grief in being violated in soul only and he says and does nothing!_ The music, as if shaped by his depressing thoughts, saddened and Ed thought it nothing short of a mockery.

_I don't need music that only breaks me even more...no I need sensei's healing kind, that which not even the best of musicians could mimic on a blessed violin…_

And the sound waves shifted and when the first familiar note hit Ed's ears, the blond didn't dare open his eyes, least the illusion would dissipate, and he would be hearing things. But no…

Here, in mid daylight was his true teacher's violin calling out softly to him. Ed felt his heart thumping madly-he didn't care where Mustang's own vein of music vanished to, but no…he was now blissfully, joyfully focused on the very fact that he was now suddenly able to hear sensei play for a third time. He didn't even wonder where Mustang could have gone off to all of a sudden. How very, very blessed he was and he knew without a shadow of a doubt that it couldn't possibly have been Mustang because even Mustang could not have known how to play like this...

This was Teacher's own special brand of playing-his own soothing, heavenly, ordered chaos of notes that would ease any doubts, heal any pains and lifted Ed's soul to a place he was always sore of leaving. And dimly even though the equilibrium he now felt, he wondered ever so faintly, if Mustang had been to this state of being before as well…

_Sensei…then you aren't mad at someone such as I that have been soiled by small, petty thoughts…_

And Ed dared to open his eyes.

But even though there was strong light pouring in though the window, it was if the illusion of a midnight play was in place. Confused, Ed found himself kneeling on the floor, his violin laying a little ways away from him and the tall, dark form of sensei in front of him, violin softly tucked under chin and up against a broad shoulder.

A beautiful, tear-filled smile spread across Ed's face as he saw thick black wings unfurl from behind the dark shape. The wings flexed then relaxed, pooling around his feet. He could sense the string smoldering gaze even from within the dark shadow over his face and that was enough to send a new kind of shiver down his back. Feathers seemed to float by his face, tickling, caressing…

_So, so beautiful…_

And Ed dared to whisper just one word-

"Sensei…"

A faint, smile seemed to flit across Teacher's face, but the blond could have only imagined it-

And the entire illusion collapsed.

No, now it wasn't his sensei he so cherished that he had now reached out to, to lay a shy hand against his chest, lay cautious fingers though hair that was as dark as the rest of him, was now half hugging, half laying in the lap of-

But it was Roy Mustang who had now frozen in shock at the smaller boy now curled up against him and with a look full of a deep, aching want, with one hand not his own against his chest and the other finding its way into his black locks. It was Roy Mustang who had now put down the violin, too struck speechless and now coming to the slow realization that Ed wasn't seeing _him_, but with that glazed look was seeing a love he wished he knew. And for that he was glad, but painfully so.

As Ed started coming to his senses, Roy looked away, waiting for fist that deadly awkward silence, then either the ranting outburst or the shocked withdrawal.

At first, it was as if the blond boy didn't want to let the illusion go-that Mustang was this "sensei" he seemed to whisper so lovingly of. But even the wish to stay in such a fantasy wouldn't let Ed ignore reality-and once he came back to it, the first thing he did was nearly fly off Mustang's lap with a mixture of horror, disgust, anger (it was no surprise to the man there), shame, and such a shattered sorrow that Mustang almost wished he let Ed keep believing…

_But who needs that any how…?_

"That's enough for today." Roy was surprised to even hear his own voice, even as small sounding as it was, echo in the room. He was afraid that it might have come off all wrong-in fact, that even speaking at such a time was entirely wrong. Ed said nothing, hands trembling, rear end still planted firmly on the floor. When his student made no move to get up, Roy sighed and gathered his case and violin up, packing them while the teen still sat there in a sort of angry daze.

"Fine." The whisper was just as meek, as small, and as weak as Mustang's own voice had been. _I'm not the only one then…_ "Go. Leave me."

Without another word, Roy slipped out of the room unaware of another pair of hazel eyes watching him…

_I will never leave you…_

-#-#-#-

And the angst continues…the other pair of hazel eyes…? Uh-oh…that doesn't sound good-it seems like someone was spying on their first lesson…poor, poor Ed, he seems to really have it bad for his sensei doesn't he? But mistaking Mustang for him…??

-winces- _That's _going to produce something rather awkward…

ah well, anyways, I know it seems to be dragging out the important things but everything will come into focus real soon, promise! –beams- so don't forget the usual reading and reviewings!


	9. Have No Shame

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FMA or any of its characters. I do, however own this plot and such so, meh…

**Warnings:** Confusing parts in the very beginning (it might not make much sense), yaoi (boyxboy, don't like then hit the back button or read another fic.), language, and maybe some OCness…though I'm not quite sure if it's that bad…

There is a good reason for Ed's and Al's seemingly switched personalities…-laughs- it'll become clearer later on..

**Strings of the Heart**

_**Movement 9:**_ Have No Shame

Ed sobbed openly into his pillow.

It was a shameful thing to Ed, to cry in a_ pillow_ of all things over what was nothing...or so he tried to tell himself. Yeah, it was really nothing much, to think the first, last and only love you have sudden dissipate. It really was nothing much that you could suddenly end up in your private tutor's lap-which by the way, also happened to be your regular teacher at school and someone you strongly disliked- and that said man not so much as even yell for the awkward moment. Nope, it wasn't bothering calm collected, genius Edward Elric…

_Then why am I still crying in this pillow for over two hours now if it was nothing?_

If anything else, that could have been seen as a violation to Mustang on Ed's part since after all, if anyone had bothered to walk in, it would look like Ed was the initiator. His own hands were on Mustang and the teacher was just sitting there in a state of semi shock, so really, if the man had wanted to, he could have made that whole situation turn out much, much worse than it did….

_But I don't know whether I'm feeling grateful of that or not…_

Shouldn't he? Roy had not even started an uproar and though Ed found his brother hovering outside and walking around in a very bad cover-up of what he had truly been doing (which had probably been spying on the two), Ed still didn't know what to think. In fact, he was so out of it, he knew Al had asked him something he would have normally had jumped at, but instead, had waved it off and walked away. Very un-Ed like behavior, Al would have said and had probably done so.

_But then again, who goes around jumping in their private tutor's laps-and the one's they don't really like, I might add-and do something like that??_ Ed pushed his face even deeper into the soft downiness. It's not natural…

"Ed?"

The blond grumbled something that might have been "leeme alone" but it went muffled in the pillowcase.

"Ed, you okay?"

"Yeah, I said I'm fine…" Ed said a bit louder, face still in the pillow. Al was the first, yet last person he wanted to talk to right at the moment…

"I knew I shouldn't have just left you alone with that twisted guy…" Ed felt the edge of his bed sink slightly and the older Elric growled. Al had sat down beside his brother's prone form with a rather stern look on his face. Why was it always that he had to be "the watchful one?" "He tried pulling that 'oh, I'm the innocent one in shock' look on his face but c'mon I mean…he must have been having other thoughts, neh brother?"

"Yeah, whatever…" Ed really did not want to talk about Mustang, especially not…well, that. Al frowned.

"I saw what happened you know." At that, Ed couldn't help but jerk his head up sharply form the pillow. _He saw…how much did he see…?_He only realized too late, from the stunned look on the younger boy's face that he was still crying.

"Ed…??"

"It…it's nothing, Al! I'm serious, I'm…I'm alright…" And hastily, he wiped his eyes, cursing himself darkly for showing a momentary trace of weakness. And to Al of all people! The 'pathetic me' act was not something his younger brother tolerated.

_It's something that __**I**__ shouldn't tolerate…its funny, but it almost seems like our personalities should have been switched…_

"Nothing? You're crying-yeah, that's a sure sign that it's nothing." The younger boy bit his lip, now looking positively stubborn. "Okay, spill-what did he do or say to you?"

"It…I-what?" Ed propped his upper body up on one elbow, his left arm slung on his side. "He didn't-say anything…"

_It was the music…_

There was a skeptical look in Al's eyes.

"Really, now? Brother you don't have to hide anything from me," At the softly spoken words Ed paled slightly. _Then wait…did he see me the entire time then? Did he…see how I practically jumped in Mustang's lap and even…touched him? Willingly? But granted, I thought…it was sensei I was touching finally not…_ "I mean…he might have pulled that, 'well, I'm not the one who started this act', but I obviously know better…"

"Eh…? Al, what are you-wait, did you..you were the one looking in on us weren't you?"

"But of course. Like I said, I wouldn't just leave you there unsupervised…"

Ed laughed meekly. _Man, we really do seem to have had our personalities swapped at some point in our lives…_

"Now you're the one sounding like the 'big brother'-"

A shrug. "Not the point-what happened?"

"Can we please not talk about this…?" Ed pleaded, his skin tingling somewhat unpleasantly at the memory.

"No, Edward, we have to." Ed sat up fully now, the tears long gone but his eyes were still red. Damn him and his persistency… "Look at you-you've never looked so much like a wreck before-"

"Thanks for the endorsement, _Alphonse_…" Ed half joked, half growled. "I really needed to hear that I look like a mess…" _I__** feel**__ like a mess…_

"I just don't want anything happening to because of that-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know Al, a sick prick, pedophile, pervert, something along those lines…labeling isn't going to do any good." Ed ran his normal hand though his bangs. "I just…can we talk about this tomorrow? I have a huge headache and talking about him is not helping it much…"

"Fine, brother…" Al conceded, getting off the bed. He wasn't going to push-after all even he would be traumatized if that happened to him…_You're really asking for it, whoever you are…_ He walked to the door then paused. "Ed…?"

Ed was lying on his stomach.

"Yeah…?"

"…what…is his name?"

The older blond paused, throat clenching slightly. _Why does Al want to know his name…? There's no point in it…_

"…Roy. Roy Mustang…"

_You shouldn't have told me your first name, Mustang…_

And without another word, the door click shut and Ed, feeling himself fall apart again, reburied his face into the pillow and cried himself into a fitful sleep…

-#-

_**So this is what you're reducing yourself to…**_

A small form on the bed shifted faintly, a small whimper flooding the fabric his face was buried into. There was a small sniffle, the small creak of an automail arm as they clenched the sheets tightly. A silent, tall, dark form watched the boy from the shadows in the far corner of the room. The rustle of wings reached the blond's ears but even that didn't wake him. The observer in the dark frowned. Perhaps he shouldn't have done what he did…what he was doing now.

_I try and make you hate me but all you do is love me more…_

The man folded his arms and continued to gaze quietly at his student.

_And that persistent, pure affection is starting to make me reckless…I just keep wanting to see you more and more, speak to you…you look with such reverence into the dark, but never once are you allowed to catch a detailed glimpse at whom you love. Isn't that supposed to kill you even more inside? _

"Sen…sei…"

The observer froze, wings folding tightly against his back.

_You make me take risks…that I would never even dare to take…_

"Ed...dy" He whispered back into the silence, unable to control himself as he walked slowly to the blond's bedside. A soft, muffled moan cam from the prone form and he halted yet again, right at the very edge of the bed. He had a mad impulse to reach out and touch the silky strands but held back as he heard another soft moan.

"Sensei…_sen_sei……" Slow heat crawled to the man's cheeks and he was sorely glad it was nearly pitch black in the room. That wasn't pain or sadness that he was calling him out but…_You are trying my every restraint and control and it would be most unfortunate is you snapped even one of them_…

_**Because no matter what, I can not fall in love with you.**_

"Sen…sei…nngh.." He sorely wanted now to either stuff his ears or just give in and…no, he couldn't, it would do neither one of them any good… "No…please…please don't…be mad at…me…not…perfect, I'm sorry…" There seemed to be a subtle shift in his subconscious and curiosity overwhelming him now, he brushed his thin fingers against the back of Ed's head, sinking his conscious into Ed's. He jerked back a split second later.

In that brief split second contact-

--

"_Let me..see your face…"_

_**I can't Eddy…don't you understand…?**_

"_But I…love you! Am I just not good enough? That must be it, sensei, I'm just so imperfect still…I only wished to be__ almost __perfect, not to be completely perfect…and even my body…my own body is missing an arm and a leg! Is that why you won't…let me see you? That I'm just…still woefully incomplete…?"_

_Ed looked down and gasped-he was back to his 5 year old self and looking down at the bloody space where his right arm and leg once were. He screamed as familiar burning pain rippled through him…_

--

Ed writhed on the bed, a scream about to erupt from his mouth. Acting on first impulse, the man crashed on the bed, wings spread to steady his body and flipped the smaller boy on his back. That alone was enough to half awaken the shuddering boy and with another whimper, he began pulling himself from the nightmare. Breathing deeply with his hands still on Ed's shoulders, he straddled the blond's waist between his legs.

_**Do you think that matters to me…?**_

Ed was slowly coming to the awareness that someone was not only pinning him to his own bed but that same someone also had their legs clamped around his waist. His first fleeting, sleep soaked thought was that it was Mustang himself and Al had been right-he was a pedophile. _Urgh…oh man, and right when I actually need my brother to be a weird stalker, spying person… _But then…something feathery soft brushed against his cheeks and a strong yet soothingly familiar scent forced his eyes open. _Wait…is that…who…?_

Seeing that Ed was at least finally conscious enough to be able to open his eyes, the man Ed called sensei once again acted upon a much more dangerous impulse. Unhesitatingly, he bent down and gently brushed his lips against Ed's own slightly open, plush ones. The effect was gut wrenching-he found out too late that not only was that a foolish thing to do-no, it was beyond foolish it was idiotic-not only was it an all-too human, imperfect mistake, but that it was the best idiotic mistake he'd ever committed.

_Sen..sei??_

Ed gasped slightly, now completely and utterly awake. _If I'm dreaming this, please kill me before this goes any farther…oh god, I really…would hurt myself if this wasn't real…_But as the kiss continued softly, Ed felt his entire body burn-this couldn't have been a dream now. Every point that they touched and barely touched was tingling. With an indiscreet movement, he pinched his side and was happily wincing as he felt a jolt of pain ride up from that spot. This was no dream. Now that that was established…

Making a small pleased noise deep in his throat, Ed's thin fingers willingly sought out something to tug the man closer and found it. His finger now happily clinging to what felt like a silk shirt, he yanked him downwards, effectively deepening the contact. Giddily, he registered the fact that his teacher willingly complied with this new, almost possessive movement. This…this was something Ed had dreamed countless times over but the reality made the intensity of his dreams wither away. Dreams did not do the very real heat grazing his mouth justice the least bit.

He seemed to pause only briefly-and Ed wondered in a slightly worried haze if he would stop. But that thought was obliterated as he merely realigned his mouth and plunged back into the kiss. Ed was suddenly drowning as hot passion burst forth from that new kiss and it was painfully apparent who would be in control.

_And honestly, I would have it no other way…_

But after another minute of deep, slightly rough kissing, air decided to make a point of proclaiming its importance and Ed groaned as he pulled away. Murky hazel eyes fluttered at half mast and lips were slightly parted, swollen and as his sensei let his gaze fix itself with a whole new rage of emotions Ed let his own linger upwards…

And dizzyingly deep coal black eyes gazed back at him, mirroring his own wanton look.

Suddenly everything just went wrong.

_Those eyes…!_

"N-no…!" Ed, suddenly in a whirl of confusion, hurt, and still rampant want, shoved the older man off his bed. _This can't…I didn't…I must be having another really bad dream…!_ He heard a startled cry issue from the floor, the sick crack of something breaking and Ed felt a piercing horror plunge through his heart. It was too brittle sounding to have been anything major, yet too long drawn out to be something small like a finger…

As he saw a black mass of what looked like a mound of feathers Ed realized with another pang of horror that one of his beloved teacher's wings had snapped.

"Sensei..!" Ed cried out, throat clogging with fear, shame and concern. _What have I done…?? Why…what…did I just do…?_ He crawled to the edge of the bed and nearly fell backwards warily as his first and only love slowly rose form the floor, wincing. "S…Sensei…" _I'm…I'm so, so sorry…! Sensei…oh god…_

One wing looked perfectly fine, arched in such a breath-taking curve Ed felt his heart constrict with another thing he loved his teacher for but then that constriction changed into one of a sickened nature as he say the other one bent at a very wrong, unnatural angle_…I…did that to you…I…_

"Sensei…" Ed chocked out, his automail hand planted on the bed and the other reaching out for him. His teacher stepped back slightly and Ed froze, hazel eyes disbelieving. _How…no, why…why did I have to ruin it all…everything…had been so…perfect…_

"I made…a foolish mistake…" The man whispered, almost regretfully. Ed swallowed, heart thundering, too wrapped up in his self degrading shame to fully acknowledge the fact that this was the first time he had ever heard his teacher speak not in his mind but verbally. And had he really been in the mood, he would have only loved how silky, how smooth it rolled off his tongue and straight to his ears. But right now…now wasn't the time to even think about this newest development.

"No…I-" The only thing that occupied his mind were two things-a broken wing and glittering black eyes that he would refuse until he died that they belonged to anyone else he knew…_It was just a trick of the light, or lake thereof…I couldn't…sensei isn't… _"I'm so…so sorry…you're…"

"You make me reckless, Eddy." His sensei stated calmly, noting that to back away even further would only shatter both the boy's heart and everything he-they-had worked for.

_He can't fall apart…not now. And I won't let him _

Ed blinked, not sure if he was to take that as something even more shameful or as something of a grand compliment. He certainly didn't seem mad…

"Is that…a bad thing….?"

Dark glittering eyes, the only thing that was revealed to the blond gazed back for a long moment. _To say yes would drive him further away, something I know needs to happen. To say no, would draw him closer to me, establish the fact that yes, perhaps I really do want him…_ Hazel eyes looked expectantly back at him and with a sigh, he replied with calm certainty-

"…no."

"Then…you're not…mad-"

"I could almost never be mad at you, Eddy." At those words Ed's heart swelled to a tremendous height. "But I think it would be wise for me to leave tonight…you've seen too much already, felt too much…that is my fault and mine alone…now I know I can't keep myself from falling for you…" The blond's eyes budged in shock as his teacher turned away. _Sen..sei…can't stop himself form falling for me…?_ "Oh and Eddy…" His hand rested lightly on the doorknob. There were a million things he wanted to say, could say… Ed sat up, heart still pounding. He smiled faintly to himself, knowing his student couldn't see his face. The perfect parting words came to him. "You're…a rather good kisser…for your first time."

And he dissipated right in front of Ed's eyes leaving the blond to cover his mouth, eyes growing impossibly wider. _"You're… a rather good kisser…for your first time."_ His teacher's final words played over and over in his mind and, stroking his lips with two fingers, he giggled to himself.

_**Have no shame, Eddy, in what you did to hurt me physically…**_

_**Because I know I deserve more than that.**_

-#-#-#-

Whaaaaa??? –eyes bulge slightly- what the heck is Ed's teacher talking about when he said that whole 'I deserve more than what you did' thing…?? –shifty eyes- and finally, the poor man just can't hold himself back…squeee…so, erm, yeah, ah…ahem…

Just read and reviews like usual…


	10. Breakage, Suspicions and a Good Pinch

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FMA or any of its characters. I do, however own this plot and such so, meh…

**Warnings:** Confusing parts in the very beginning (it might not make much sense), yaoi (boyxboy, don't like then hit the back button or read another fic.), language, and maybe some OCness…though I'm not quite sure if it's that bad…

There is a good reason for Ed's and Al's seemingly switched personalities…-laughs- it'll become clearer later on..

**Additional Notes:**

See, Ed can be a ridiculously out-there genius but his stubborn I-really-don't-want-to acknowledge-this attitude…well, maybe a very small part of his brain may have been screaming at him that Roy and the sensei are one and the same, and he would absolutely insist that he was right, they were separate entities, and there would be no way that a tweaker like him could be his sensei…

Oh and as another side note, do you really think that Al would accept the whole, oh it was the music, excuse from Ed if he said it? If someone had told me that, I probably wouldn't have believed them either…and since Al had that slightly "blind" streak in him as well, Ed didn't want to push it with him. –smiles weakly- geez, and you wonder why they sometimes don't see eye-to-eye…

We are finally in the double digit chapters…

**Strings of the Heart**

_**Movement 10:**_ Breakage, Suspicions and a Good Pinch

Roy Mustang couldn't pick up his violin the following day. Or anything else, really for that matter…Ed, unable to keep himself from feeling a small pang of curiosity, studied him. It was so _odd_…

Every time someone dared to touch his shoulder, or pat him dangerously close to his right shoulder blade, he twitched badly. That twitch was followed by a very reproachful look and a small uttered threat of detention or something equally damning. That was what puzzled the young violinist the most. Mustang never before threatened the use of detentions or referrals before…

_So why now? Maybe you're becoming one of those sadistic teachers that love capital punishment for the smallest things-even a look the wrong way….now that would be just plain weird…._ Ed briefly plucked his violin strings on his instrument as it sat neatly in his lap. He dug for his bow and smiled briefly as his fingers happened to brush against a lone black feather. The memories of last night flooded back to him with a stark clarity he had with no other memories. He gasped quietly, quickly trying to suppress the heated flush that came to his cheeks. Thinking about flowing black wings and even darker, jet black eyes would do him no good…

Ed finally withdrew his hand, which had now found what he sought and he bit his lip, a thought suddenly striking him.

_Last night…that was the first time I even saw anything on sensei's face…but why his eyes? His eyes are beautiful, granted, but…_Ed continued to idly pluck at the strings, not really paying attention to the now giggly gossip of a rather chatter-happy Winry Rockbell behind him. Had he paid more attention he would have been able to bring Al some very, very good news on who her latest crush was, but as luck would have it, Ed was wrapped up in his own thoughts about a special someone. _But his eyes…the reason why I pushed him off in that brief moment and destroyed that perfect moment without wanting or meaning to…_

The blond let his gaze travel up to the man now currently shifting through the conductor's score of a more recent piece. His onyx eyes were half shielded from view by long black eyelashes as he frowned in deep thought. _Your eyes look…no, they remind me of Mustang. The same shade, the same intensity…maybe I'm just loosing my mind…_Ed shook his head restlessly._ You, sensei, and Mustang couldn't be the same person…I'd probably cut off my other good arm and feed it to the dogs if that were true…okay, erm, scratch that, maybe not…_

_But joking aside, hypothetically speaking, what if they__** were**__ the same person?_ After asking himself the new shocking question, his own mind and heart fell silent and he forced himself to continue the thought. _What am I suggesting now? That Roy could actually be some ridiculously perfect violinist who exceeds me in every way, has a voice that could make even the straightest men go, well, gay, and has wings? Okay, well that first part could somewhat apply, but Mustang just isn't up to the same caliber as sensei playing-wise….no one could ever match his perfection on the violin anyways…his voice may sound close too, but I'm defiantly not falling for him and well, I'm pretty sure I don't see any jet black wings erupting from his back so…_

_Conclusion reached? I'm being utterly ridiculous and Roy Mustang can not be the same person as sensei._

"Edward you just did it_ again_." A barley restrained voice of anger reached Ed's ears. The boy's head jerked up and instantly winced under a truly withering glare. _If I were a plant, I would have surely shriveled up and died in seconds…no, scratch being a plant, if looks could kill anything living, I would be long dead._ "I'm assuming you find some odd delight, perhaps something fetish-worthy in avoiding my cues…?"

"Huh?" _Oh brilliant, Ed. You're acting more and more of an idiot every day. What a classic, smooth response. Go Ed…not._

"Maybe I really should have given that solo to someone else," Roy growled, a look of slight, barely concealed pain crossing his features. Ed dimly remembered that at some point in his musings, Mustang had banged his baton harshly against the stand with his right arm-he never held it in his left. "Because it seemed to me like you just aren't into this…"

Ed flinched. This was a lot angrier than Ed had ever seen Roy before…

It was by default that the school hosted a high ranking concert-after all, they had a very high reputation within the country and foreigners from around the world gave up vacations with friends and family to hear them. The current band teacher-whoever it happened to be- would pick five pieces, each meant to stress a certain area of playing capability. One was to focus on fast paced, light staccato tonguing that was ideal for those lighter-hearted pieces; another, to focus on something of the same pace, but much more complicated that ascended and descended sixtieth note patterns; yet another was more of a slower, shorter piece meant to display how well unity existed within the group and also to force everyone to create a tone quality that was nearly identical and so on. It was never easy on the violin section simply because a) they always got the most difficult parts and b) they spent most of their energy trying to match and sound like Ed.

It was a tradition Ed had come to expect and to enjoy immensely-it was dully amusing to him to see how much everyone else in his section tried to keep up, working their tails off…just to try and even sound remotely like him. He didn't mean to stick out, didn't mean to have all the best parts, didn't mean to have his violin sound so powerfully above all the rest…

But when Roy had come in, he had switched out the music that had originally been picked months ago by new and unfamiliar scores that no one had ever seen in their life. Everything about them was screaming organized chaos-and none of it was familiar to Ed. That was the true shock in it all-he had studied and played nearly as many compositions as their were people on the earth and yet he hadn't seen this work before? Yes, it had-and still did, for that matter-bothered him but what was bothering him now greatly at the moment was the hard look the conductor gave him.

"But obviously, I_ can't _because now it's only two weeks away and you're the only one who has had enough practice for it!" He finished, folding his arms and wincing again in pain. "Edward, either you get your rear in gear or I will cut that solo out of the performance and you can forget about even coming to the concert!"

There was a haunting, deadly silence. Ed stared back at the bristling man in shock. _What…did he just…say to me…? Did he just threaten me…??_

"You…wouldn't…_dare_…" Ed whispered through clenched teeth forgetting to keep his grip on the neck of his instrument in his regular hand not his automail one. The room hardly dared to breath. No one, no one had actually threatened Ed before, not in that way. To cut him out of a concert like that was like cutting him from air-he couldn't live with him self. Roy Mustang gave him a long hard look and said the very words that pushed Ed over the edge.

"Try me."

A sudden sharp, sickening crack echoed though the silence. The class gaped and some just kept opening and shutting their mouths in disbelief. Edward Elric, the genius couldn't have... didn't just… but he had.

Shocked, Ed glanced down at the now broken neck of his beloved violin.

Without meaning to, his rage getting the better of him, he had squeezed so hard with his automail hand that he had quite literally shattered his instrument. Or, well, a part of it. The whole class just stared at Ed like he had lost his mind-and Ed wouldn't have been surprised if he had.

Any vestige of an explanation-if one could even have been dredged up- was obliterated by the sound of the bell.

"Stay in your seat." Ed didn't even have to ask twice-he himself wasn't sure if he could even stand after what he had just done..

_You…Mustang, this is all your fault…_He felt like he was on the verge of tears again and he sat in his seat. It was his fault too, though, in a way-Roy hadn't laid a hand on his instrument. The class was highly reluctant to leave Ed there, mostly out of twisted curiosity as to what made him snap, but with frustrated sighs they slowly filed out. After the last person had left, Roy walked to the door, shut it and locked it securely.

"So what happened to your shoulder? You've been twitching in pain…" Ed commented with a unnaturally calm voice, as if he just hadn't broken the neck of his instrument in front of a gaping room of musicians. Roy whirled on him, eyes blazing. Ed recoiled instinctively and even more so as the man took quick, agitated strides towards his seat. Hazel eyes eyed him warily as Mustang sat down next to him, gave him a withering glare and, with a voice that seemed to challenge his own calm one politely held out a hand.

"Give me your right hand Edward…"

"Eh? Q-quit changing the subject!" Ed was deathly afraid now and he kept cursing himself inwardly for both the stutter and for even breaking his violin in the first place. The last time he ever did break his violin was when he was 5…but this time, there was no sensei to fix things and with a break like that, he would have no choice but to either sit out the concert for real or rent another one-an idea he did not relish. _I can't play another violin because it just wouldn't feel the same…plus, it would take me exactly two weeks just to get used to it! Great, you damn bastard, you got what you wanted…selfish little… _"I asked about-!"

"It's nothing I can't handle-now give me your hand and take off that glove…!"

Ed went paper white.

"W-what…? No! Why should I-?"

"With that amount of wood you've shattered oh so easily, there is no way you couldn't have gotten some of it embedded into your hand…so you must be hrut. Somehow." So saying, Roy reached out-and Ed's flesh hand was ready to smack him for his imprudence but he had merely relived the boy's lap of the shattered pieces. Stubbornly, Ed retracted the hand Roy was asking for and hid it under his arm.

Ed said nothing-it would have been entirely true-had it not been for the simple fact that his hand wasn't quite flesh anymore-or that entire arm for that matter.

"Give me your hand, Edward…" He repeated in a dangerously soft voice. Sighing regretfully, with a look that plainly said, well, you are really asking for it now, he slowly left Mustang take his right hand. With a quick movement, he seized it-Ed didn't even wince and turned it palm up.

"You're not bleeding." But he seemed too calm about it. No trace of surprise, confusion-nothing. Frowning Ed studied the man's slightly neutral, almost curious look as he yanked off the glove. But that action was too much for him-wincing Ed jerked his head to the side, hair which had been donned in a ponytail today swishing. It was there-he could feel it. His music teacher's own warm hand now loosely holding the cold, unrelenting automail one, his steady onyx gaze certainly fixed onto the glint of cold metal…And Ed didn't know what to expect from the man. Hate? Disgust? Curiosity? Hell, it had better not have been the last or he would really put that right hand to good use in the art of jaw breaking…

"Well, that only confirms what I had originally thought…but prosthetics this advance isn't exactly your every day run-of-the-mill…" Still stunned over this new disturbing fact that Roy wasn't even tweaking out the least bit, he dared a glance at the older man. _There is something very, very wrong with this picture…as if he's handled this kind of thing before, and the touch seems hauntingly familiar…but no one but myself and Winry-only once, thatnk god- has ever probed or even held any part of my artificial limb_… "Of course…if I were to assume it being advanced, it must have advanced features..can you feel pain?" A small shake. "Temperature?" A nod at this. "Touch?"

"Barely. Depends…" Ed's voice trailed off as he now turned to look the man he had harbored a strong dislike for with a weird emotion. He wasn't sure what to describe it as, and he spared himself the agony of self-study for later. "I…Mustang, what the hell is wrong with you?? And what's with the questions...??"

"Hmm?" He murmured as he now let himself prod at the cool metal with a probing air. Onyx eyes never once left Ed's. "You shouldn't have broken your instrument, Edward…how many people know about this?"

"Just…Al, Winry, but I swear to god that one was by pure accident…okay well," Ed coughed shifting on the chair. "I, uh, did bang a sizable dent in her garage door with this hand so, er…I guess it wasn't so much of an accident? But other than that no one else. And I ask again-what. The. Hell?" But even as he answered the questions on auto pilot, his mind was on a drastically different track. _What's the point in all of this…? Isn't he mad about me breaking my violin?? And what's with his right shoulder? He was in pain a few seconds ago and now…_

"Not even your parents?" Mustang purposely ignored the smaller boy's last proclamation. Ed growled but shook his head. He was really starting to get annoyed by this minute interrogation. "Odd…but I won't ask, not my place to do so…"

"Damn straight it's not…" he grumbled and for the first time that day, Roy cracked a smile. But to the blond's slight annoyance, the black haired man still hadn't let go of his metal limb.

"You'd be surprised, Edward, what is my place especially in your…personal life…"

The blond could have sworn that he had cracked a few neck muscles form snapping his head up so hard.

"W-what???"

But Mustang seemed to calmly glaze over even saying that as well. He sighed, finally letting go of Ed's automail hand and stood up.

"You really need to learn how to not break your instruments, you know…that'll be twice now you broke it." He ignored Ed's gaping mouth as he gathered up the pieces of wood and string delicately. "…Stop by the band room after school and I'll have it back to you in complete working condition. Oh and by the way…" He added as he walked into his office. "You could have told me you had broken your wrist-I would have fixed it up within a matter of minutes."

And that last comment left Ed to start wondering if he really was having one of his weird, whacked waking dreams and if someone could pinch him to make sure he was awake._ He did not just say all that, I did not just break my instrument and this whole thing did not just happen… _This mantra, however, was not helping the least bit. Having no one in the vicinity, he reached over with the very hand Mustang had touched and pinched himself. Ed hissed out-yup.

He was sadly-and now painfully- wide awake.

-#-

"So were you bluffing me or did you actually fix it?"

A dark haired, pale face poked out from within an office door. It was a voice he really hadn't expected to hear after school. Well, I had asked him to drop by…but again he surprises me. He was currently mediating over his latest composition and whether he should just leave Ed's violin it it's case and hand it off or just present it back to him with a smug smirk. He rather liked that later option. It would bruise the poor boy's ego even more, but really, it was getting a bit out of control…hadn't he already established that a long time ago? _Well, that proves his love for music can pretty much steamroll any prejudice about the person teaching it… _Ed was standing at his rather imposing height of-

Roy snickered. He just couldn't help himself. With Ed standing there, hands on hips and looking oh so like a girl with that pout on his face… There was nothing imposing at all about a boy who was barely over 5 feet tall and Ed's expression darkened-he could practically hear the train of thoughts running though Roy's mind.

"Don't you even _dare_, you tweak…"

"Back to name calling, I see. Pity, and we were actually starting to get along." He shrugged it off while Ed began to seethe inwardly We were NOT getting along, nor will we ever get along!! Reaching for both case and a perfectly in-tact violin, he held them out with a casual air. "I believe these are yours?"

Ed quickly snatched them both up, an indescribable joy one his face. That look alone was enough for Roy-he leaned back in his chair, ignoring the jolting pain in his right shoulder blade.

_Maybe you should break your violin and let me fix it more often, Edward…_

"Wait.." Ed frowned slightly, a flicker of doubt creeping into his face and voice. Mustang blinked, swinging his chair around to face the boy again.

"Hhm?"

"This…is mine right…?"

The man raised an eyebrow.

"If you don't believe it yourself why don't you play it…?" It was a quiet challenge and one that Ed had skewed, taking it the wrong way.

"Well, I was distinctly under the impression that_ someone_ had ideas of kicking me out of the concert…" Ed hissed, glaring openly now at his teacher. Growling under his breath, Roy leaned forward.

"Oh, so are you telling me you did it on_ purpose_?"

"No! I didn't!" Ed accidentally dropped his case as he now clung gingerly but protectively at his newly repaired instrument. The clatter of the case on the carpeted floor made both males flinch.

"Then why use that as an excuse? Or are you somehow afraid that it is yours?"

Hazel eyes stared defiantly back, but they didn't betray the feelings Roy had landed the mark on.

_Of course I'm afraid…but perhaps not for the same reasons you believe me to be…I'm afraid to know that if this is really my instrument…_

_Then what the hell __**are**__ you…?_

Something rapped his dangling automail arm under the long sleeved uniform. Shaking himself from his thoughts he looked down. A long wooden bow was prodding into his arm. With shaky fingers he twisted it out of Mustang's grasp, raised both violin and bow to playing position and, taking a deep breath, pulled the bow across the strings.

Instantly, the feel, the very core of his instrument sang to him and there was no mistake-this was his, beyond a shadow of a doubt…

And Roy smiled as the boy lowered it from his chin and shoulder with wide, suddenly horrified eyes.

"Well?"

But where Roy expected praise, a slightly trembling whisper filled the room-

"What….what** are** you? That break…would have taken…**months** in the shop…in fact something like that…that kind of damage might have required a whole new set of parts or a new violin altogether. NO one has spare necks lying around that fit this exact model, this exact style and make it so seamless…" Ed's voice was increasing in volume now. "This model is almost never found anymore and the parts for it? No longer manufactured!" He almost lost his grip on his instrument but kept his trembling hands in check. "Something's…no, there's something…not right going on here, and to top it all off…no one, _**NO ONE**_ could have been able to repair this violin like this, to utter perfection except sensei-!!"

Ed clamped a free hand to his mouth, realizing what he had just said. _I did not just…oh __**god**__…_ Roy was studying his student with a strange, contemplating look, his eyes glittering oddly.

"Sensei…?" The man mumbled with feigned curiosity and Ed knew he had said too much. Scrambling for his case, he gave Mustang one last traumatized look before running as far as his legs would carry him…

_Someone pinch me now…_Ed screamed in his head as he rounded the corner and stumbled out into the open air. _Because I must be dreaming…or…seeing things…!!_

Right before he had turned and left, giving his music teacher that last glance, he thought he saw the faint outline of two arching jet black wings-the right one slightly bent at a painful angle…

-#-#-#-

…

…

waaaa…sorry for not updating sooner (hahah, weird for me to say that, but actually I had gotten into the swing of updating every day…ha!) but erm…yeah…

-suddenly has nothing to say-

…uhm…erm, please R & R?


	11. Obsessions of You

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FMA or any of its characters. I do, however own this plot and such so, meh…

**Warnings:** Confusing parts in the very beginning (it might not make much sense), yaoi (boyxboy, don't like then hit the back button or read another fic.), language, and maybe some OCness…though I'm not quite sure if it's that bad…

There is a good reason for Ed's and Al's seemingly switched personalities…-laughs- it'll become clearer later on..

**Additional Notes (Please read-at least part of it! Sorry if their a bit long!)** :

And ah, the question for is Ed's sensei synonymous with Roy Mustang will soon be answered...! (yes I know, finally, Lacry, you've been dragging this one for, like, forever!!) And also since school is being it's royal pain in the rear with me taking Trig/ Algebra 2 (I'm only 15, you crazy people!! –wilts-)

Jazz B (which I am expected to memorize pep tunes for football games and have them down in about a week and a half. Oh and hahaha, did I mention that I have to play bass guitar for Jazz, which I've only been on for about 4 months?)

Biology (which, me being the smart person I am, just happened to blurt out something about spontaneous generation to my teacher-hey, it was part of the lesson, but I had read ahead!- and now I'm like his favorite and he goes off and calls me spontaneous generation…oh and what sucks is that he's a football coach. For Varsity. Which is the team my ex-yet-not-ex-boyfriend is on. Okay leeme alone, I have no idea where I stand with the guy anymore-not my teacher, the other guy.)

And Leadership (grrr, had to make phone calls today since I'm in charge of clubs and such. But hey had to make posters yay…I like making posters) erm…yeah, I won't be able to update as often as I'd like. I'm trying to aim for may one every 3-4 days if I don't get back-logged with other projects ( I have other fics running at the same time, and other people knew that I wasn't even allowed on the weekdays on the comp, so this right here is purely lucky for all you guys…) You're wonderful reviews made me so happy-and I was just having a slightly bad day too from my getting assigned a lot of Algebra 2 problems…-grins-

**Strings of the Heart **

_**Movement 11:**_ Obsessions of You

"Hey, Ed, you hungry? Yoohoo, anyone home in there??"

Said blond jerked his head up and winced inwardly. Al waved his hand in front of his older brother's face a few times for good measure then sat back in his seat. Ed coughed slightly in embarrassment and began to poke his chopsticks at his ramen again. Seemingly satisfied that he was not just staring off into space or at his favorite food, the younger Elric began quietly eating again.

As much as his parents protested weakly against it, Ed just would not give up ramen for dinner. That was all he would eat, usually-not the fancy Western steaks, smoked salmon, Caesar salad, rice balls with seaweed (well, for them, sometimes he made an exception-Al had caught him sneaking off with a couple numerous times.) etc, etc…That was just one of those few perks of being in a wealthy family. You could never go hungry. But for Ed, in that respect, he wasn't like the normal run-of-the-mill, stuck up rich kids. He was almost ascetic in his ways of eating. Now his brother on the other hand…well, let's say, he gave a whole new meaning to the bottomless pit for a stomach.

And another inevitable perk was that anyone who had suddenly fallen under their employment-maids, the cooks, and, Ed winced at this, tutors-would naturally be invited to the dinner table. So of course, Ed felt like he had a perfectly good reason why he was now letting his favorite meal turn stone cold. Not to mention the fact that the man that he had ran from a couple hours ago (at this he felt that weird shamed anger in the pit of his stomach) but that said person was practically sitting right next to him, easily keeping up small talk between himself, the maids and his parents, yet still managing the small almost undetectable glances in his direction.

Key word-almost. Ed surely picked up on them. And each time, he felt his appetite wane. Finally. Ed gave his now cold ramen a ruthless final stab and left the chopsticks in the swirling noodle mass. Al's gaze flickered upwards-first to him, then to Mustang, who was now flashing an oh so fake winner's smile at a blushing maid and chattering on about some random topic then to Ed. _Brother, what did he do to you this time…?_ The younger boy wondered as he went back to his food. _It seems that everyone here is putting up a performance…and no one wants to look at the pink elephant standing in the room…(_1)

_He has some nerve…_Ed was on a whole different vein of thought as he crossed his arms tightly across his chest and tried not to let his eyes fix themselves on Roy as he gave what could have been easily seemed like a sincere laugh. But was it just him, or did even that ring false? Everything around him seemed orchestrated…_oh, and such an ironic word to use…_ (2)

_But still…I don't understand anything…why didn't he just leave?_ He closed his eyes briefly, trying to drown out all sound-but was as of yet unsuccessful in ignoring all but Mustang's voice. I_ told him countless times, I didn't want to see him, I was just fine, I would make sure he was paid anyways so money wasn't an issue…but the persistent little bastard just said, 'oh It has nothing to do with the money, I just want to be here'. He could have just added the 'with you' part on the end-I saw that as clear as day in his eyes. _Sighing, Ed opened his eyes briefly to find his glass of ice cold green tea. His fingers gently curled around the cooled surface-a sensation numbed slightly by his automail and his glove) and sipped it.

_But why the hell would he want to be around me? Even now, he didn't have to stay for dinner…doesn't he have a life outside of school? A girlfriend? Wife maybe…?_ For some reason that particular thought made him a bit ill. _Hell, I think the only reason he is hanging around is because of our 'pretty little maids'…looks like the type anyways…hmph, I bet he's having something going on with one of them anyways…_his face grew slightly bitter, as if he had swallowed a particularly sour lemon and, even his thirst now lost, he put the glass down. As if to only reconfirm the vague suspicions the maid he was talking to blushed furiously as he leaned in and whispered something in her ear.

There was an instant silence as the heavy scrap of a chair grated against the floor, one leg hitting a leg of the table loudly. Ed might not have been very imposing standing up, but anyone would be a fool not to be able to feel half of the emotions rolling off him. Al had always said he was an emotional person behind closed doors and now, as silence fell, Mustang suddenly glanced up and finally understood how someone like him could command attention in his own way.

"I'm so very sorry…" He stated calmly, his voice quiet, his mannerisms controlled, but two people at the table winced. "But I'm afraid you'll have to excuse me-I'm not feeling well…"

And with that, he stalked out of the room, betraying the whole new arrayed chaos of emotions that truly raged underneath his collected exterior. Al knew how to read every sign Ed's body movements threw off, and that only clearly said, _my reason was a BS excuse to get out of the same room as a certain someone inhabiting it._ The maid sitting next to Roy frowned slightly and tugged on his sleeve to capture his attention again, but he would have no more of it. Everything now was back to where it should have been-all his thoughts directed at one particularly unpredictable blond violinist. And, as Al glanced over at him, his frown, which had been faint in coming all throughout dinner, only deepened.

_What kind of game are you playing with my brother, Mustang…?_ His eyes narrowed slightly as the man excused himself seconds afterwards and quickly walked through the same doors Ed had left from. _Because Ed** hates** being toyed with…of anything deemed cruel and unusual punishment, playing with Ed' s emotions is something that should not only be considered a deadly sin, but asking for reputation suicide…._

_You had better hope you mean something a little bit better than an 'egotistical bustard', Roy Mustang…because I assure you if you are anything less, then I won't hesitate to tell Ed things you don't want him to know about you… _

-#-

"Edward!"

A ponytailed blond pointedly kept walking away from the speaker, fists in his pockets.

_I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to talk to you, you sick twisted bastard…I don't want to talk to you…_Ed chanted in his mind angrily, his feet scuffing the ground.

"Edward!!"

_Okay now, he sounds pissed…hmmmm…_Ed rubbed his chin in mock thought as he rounded the corner. _Should I stop…or just keep walking…? _

_Hmmn, how about-I just keep walking?? _

"Edward, I swear, if you don't stop walking right this minute, _I will make you stop_!"

_Oh? Is that a threat?_ Ed whirled, eyebrow quirked as the speaker ran up to him, black eyes burning. Ed's own inner fires extinguished under the smoldering gaze-there would be no possible way of matching that new look in Roy's eyes. Hesitantly, he took a step backwards.

"So you actually listen…" The man grumbled, but the very stiffness in his speech and his stance said enough. Irked by the man's mere appearance, Ed shot back viciously-

"Ha, funny enough coming from you-I thought you certainly had plenty enough to listen to with that silly maid of ours clinging to every word-and not to mention that, given the chance to, she'd be cling off every part of you too!" The blond growled and shook his head. Okay he hadn't meant to have gone that far in his rant but…a strange expression crossed his tutor's face and seemed to struggle there.

"So-wait, I…what…? oh, I see…" He suddenly looked-

Ed death glared.

_He's…**amused**? And** smirking **too? The** hell**??? Not the** time** for that crap!! You **BATARD**!! _

"What the hell-for a good reason this time I might add!!" Ed spat, now eyeing the smug look on the older man's face with ill contempt. And to top it all of, Mustang chuckled at Ed's most recent outburst.

"Oh, Edward, and here I thought I'd never see the day…" He smirk-if that was possible-had become even wider. "You're…...…_jealous…_ aren't you." It wasn't a question. Ed drew back, wide eyed and even more enraged.

"Jealous?? _**Jealous??"**_ Ed repeated in a frenzy, making a point to ignore the man's growing amusement. "Of what, I might ask? I'm not the one practically flirting with some done-up little maid when I'm sure you can certainly get something better than that! I wasn't the one whispering god knows what in her ear-my god, making someone blush like that should be illegal." And yet that entire time, Ed's whole face was redder than said woman's-except for a much different reason. "And damn it all to hell and back when I'm not the one who acts like a complete play boy! ARGH! At least I'm not throwing myself at women who are undeserving of that kind of attention because, as hard at might me to believe I actually_ do_ have someone, so you can just-!!"

"You have someone?" The sentence was cut short by the quiet interruption. Ed swallowed, not sure if what he said was a mistake or not_. I…can't read his expression at all…I mean, it's not like I try hard or anything_! He corrected himself quickly as he scanned Roy's face for anything readable after his statement. _I can pick up even the tiniest of flickers on his face…but this time there's absolutely nothing…!_

"I…how…are you taking that?" Ed challenged. Roy's face didn't seem to change.

"As how I think you perfectly meant that-as in you have a lover." Even his voice quality-the softness to it-hadn't changed. "And would I be wrong is saying that that someone special is the one you call…sensei?"

Swallowing dryly. Ed backed up again from the man.

"I…" _Don't have to answer that question_. "That's none of your business-"

"I told you, you'd' be surprised at what place I hold in your personal life, so don't tell me that this isn't my business.."

"What do you think you're implying you tweak??" Ed was truly seething now and they could both hear the slight creak of his automail fist clenching. "You're just my tutor, nothing more, nothing less! And just because you now are granted privileges within this house, ultimately, the decision to even keep you around is up to me!"

"Oh? Then if that's the case…" Roy's voice dropped ominously, the grin having long faded from his face. "Why haven't you already had me kicked out of the house yet?"

Ed was truly caught off guard by this question-instinctively, he opened his mouth but he had nothing to say.

_I…it's a half truth, really…_Ed quickly told himself_. I could, but it's a joint decision between my parents and myself…and if they say no, then….I have no choice…._

"Just leave me alone, Mustang…" He mumbled finally, head slightly bowed. He crossed his arms in a pathetic gesture of defensiveness. Sighing, the shorter teen shook his head. "I don't know why you're doing this-being a complete prick at school yet becoming something almost human, someone drastically different outside of it…and you-knowing the times I've ever broken that violin, knowing not only that my wrist was automail but that had been broken before too…that in and of itself is inhuman." He forced himself to gaze upwards at Roy. "I told no one…and that whole deal with that private life comment…I will tell you right now, as far as your place goes, you are only a teacher at school, a private tutor here. Quite honestly, I don't even know how you found out all those thing s about me anyways. There's nothing more that you mean to me, nothing less-though I think you deserve less than what little I give you credit for."

Trembling he turned and began to walk away. _Why can't I even stand still in your presence and talk to you without feeling so thrown off…?_ Much to his surprise, however, a pale hand latched on to his flesh arm and pulled him back.

"I…frankly don't _care _about how you say you feel about me, Edward…." He breathed quietly into Ed's ear, sending a sharp involuntary shiver and intake of breath. "Say what you like, but I know even exactly where your heart stands…" And in the next breath, as Roy's next words ghosted past his ears, Ed tensed, stalk still and stayed there long after the man had left him there-

"And really, after all……isn't _this_ what you've been wishing for…?"

-#-

_What was **that **supposed to mean…?? _

_Now it's me who doesn't understand you, Mustang…_Ed slumped into the mattress, head and heart pounding. _I don't…get you any more, Mustang…you act one way then speak another, and whispering in my ear like that…as if you were a lover or something…!_ At this thought Ed found a small blush creep into his face. _No…this is the first time I've truly not wanted to go to school the next day…correction-this is the first time I didn't want to go to band class first thing in the morning…_

_"And really, after all……isn't this what you've been wishing for…?" _

_Wishing for what? For you to come up close to me like that, distract my thoughts from sensei, and try and worm your way into my life?_ The blond grumbled wordlessly._ I would wish for anything else but that very thing…and besides you wouldn't know what I truly wish for anyways…_

And with that and the slightly unnerving observation that he hadn't felt that special urge to play for a little while now, he slowly drifted off into a troubled sleep.

-#-

Roy Mustang was absent the next morning. And, though Ed should have thought it a true blessing, for some reason it was quit the opposite. Of course, for his large following both within the band and without, it was a killer blow. Roy never seemed the type to be gone and for a wild moment, everyone had thought he was getting replaced. Though Ed wanted the thought to be hilarious, even grin worthy, he found himself nearly as dejected as the rest which was truly bewildering. Even more so…it seemed to have only left even more gaping questions-questions about the music, about personal things relating to the man, about the words he spoke, the way he spoke them and what really was between them…

_No, now I know something's wrong with me._ Ed went through the motions of pulling out his instrument with mechanical, practiced ease. He stared down vaguely at the newly repaired neck, noting that he had never noticed it before, but upon closer inspection it didn't even look repaired at all. In fact it looked like every single part of it had been restored as it was with no replacement parts…_I'm thinking about him too much… _

And even as he played, he played completely and utterly detached-his heart, mind, soul was scattered into different tangents and pieces while only his physical vessel was left behind to go through the movements of playing and wandering through the rest of the day…

Yet all the while, there was only one thought that drifted in and out of his hazed mind and it was the odd pull, the odd desire to walk into Mustang's office-which had been safely locked, as some rabid fan girls of him had found out to their dismay this morning-and just…_search_. Search for what, he didn't know-but the faint calling was there.

The elder Elric wasn't the type to go picking locks, breaking in, entering…but as with all geniuses, picking up random, yet sometimes devious bits of info was just how they were. Ed had something of an insatiable thirst and curiosity to learn, to know things, so it had been purely on chance of a day of boredom that he learned that particular trick.

And now, standing outside that very office just minutes after the last bell rang was the commutation of that knowledge all funneled into a small jiggling hairpin.

It was easy enough-so ridiculously so that Ed almost wanted to laugh and gag at the same time. After all, he hadn't really thought that just telling the sub that he needed to get his instrument and check a couple things in complete privacy would have actually worked. But then again, his name must have really been the magic word in anything and now he was sorely glad he wasn't someone who normally lied and strayed into the more devious vein of things.

"C'mon…" Ed mumbled as he jiggled the hairpin some more-then he smiled evilly as he heard the faint click of victory_. Simply too, too easy…_ He withdrew the pin and twisted the doorknob, making sure to close the door behind him.

It didn't quite hit him until he had took two steps into the room that it was all too convenient-that it was all too easy to have not been almost planned as a trap of sorts. _Wait a minute…what if…_Ed frowned into the semi-darkness, his gloved hand wandering to the light switch. All doubts dispelled in the flood of light of course, Mustang wouldn't have been that smart and besides, the man wasn't even here today…

And in that flood of light Ed blinked in confusion. He had only once or twice before even set foot near it and now that he was actually in it…

_Oh wow, now I am defiantly scared of the guy… _

Pictures. Everywhere. That shouldn't have bothered anyone really, but for Ed, there was a fine line between a simple passing fancy and a full blow obsession. And Mustang's apparent obsession?

Edward Elric himself.

They were mostly newspaper clippngs of course, taken from various world distributed chains, some from the internet, others…Ed squinted. He couldn't tell where he got some of them-his parents had kept every single picture of their son in every single performance but some of those pictures, though taken at the events, seemed to have been taken at times when no cameras had accesses-the warm up rooms, in transition from the warm up room to backstage, afterwards…

_That…can't be right though... _

The glint of various picture frames sitting by Roy's computer caught his eye. Now slightly afraid of what the nagging suspicion in the back of his mind told them they were, he tilted his head, blinked and gasped.

One would have expected that even through the obsessive state Roy seemed to be in over him, he would have had at least something else in those frames. Maybe a girlfriend, wife children…friends, old students, acquaintances, something. But no. And the pictures themselves…

Ed's 6 ear old self stared back at him caught seemingly moments after he had achieved his almost perfection. Of course, it was that "next" day-his birthday and such, smiles all around in broad daylight-but the pose, though having looked normal enough for a standard photo was also one that seemed to have been taken on the spur of the moment…or was it already planed? At any rate, this new, striking development, made Ed back away slowly in growing fear. Was Mustang some weird pedophile, stalker or something equally terrible?

_I shouldn't have come in here… _

A small beep Made Ed scream and fall backwards, landing on his backside. He sighed then suddenly burst out into nervous laughter as he eyed what had made the sound.

"Oh, it's just Mustang's stupid computer…" Ed reassured himself as he stood up on shaky feet. But curiosity always made to kill the cat, and Ed had a particularly bad bout of curiosity. His eyes now flickering to the screen, he found that it had been open to a word processing program of sorts and he would have almost tired of it, or had looked away had he not caught a few lines that snagged interest and stated one name in particular-his. Highly curious now, Ed bent over the computer slightly and his eyes flickered over the words…

_**… **_

_**…Edward Elric, truly the child protégé. It's a wonder I was even able to descend in person to see him face to face for myself(that's not to say, I haven't seen him before though). Would he even have known me as such, even done a little research, he would have certainly, if not by now, become highly suspicious. I wouldn't even be surprised if he had broken into my office somehow and found my not-so-easy-to conceal obsession over the boy…**_At that line, Ed winced, blushing. Was he that predictable?_** Yes…I might as well admit it has become an obsession. And who could not, would not become so? He had lost both an arm in a leg all in the pursuit of perfection-but he was lucky enough to have wanted almost perfection, not in its absolute entirety…. **_

"Wait…" Ed read the line again slowly to himself. "How…how would Mustang know about my wish to be perfect, though making the tragic mistake of asking almost perfection…?" Even so, as the suspicions rose in his mind, he continued-

_**…I can't really get him out of my mind. Odd, really and I think he'd find that rather disgusting if he knew that I find myself looking only at him as his braid or ponytail waved it's golden good-bye…how pale yet honeyed even his skin gets bathed in moonlight…and gloved fingers, though hiding what he calls an abomination, have a perfection of which even he knows not of. He broke that wrist he so hates with a passion-the automail one. The one he, in tandem with his leg, had given up for that wish… **_

_**Why did he have to break it/bend it? I heard that resounding crack in the cafeteria the day he did it, and though all that bravado at trying to hint that it was on purpose…it was amusing, but frustrating. He has too much pride for that and too much fear, fierce love and loyalty… **_

_**I tried. I tried to make him hate me. From the very beginning, even though I wanted, though my own choice to grant him a wish we both knew-and have known-is and was something I did not want to fulfill…But for him, I descended. It seemed to have been going so well, my ways of making him hate me-but then his parents had to call me up and destroy all that carefully constructed work… **_

_**And now- **_

_**"**_You've truly disappointed me this time…"

Eyes widening, Ed cried out, horrified ,and whirled around-

-#-#-#-

OMG I'm EVIL!!! –dies- BUSTED!! But who is it??? And by who?? –coughs then hides in corner- don't kill me for the late update or for the cliffie-though I know you all want to now….(if you have read my A/N in the beginning, you'll kind of get an idea of my next update, just to let you all know…)

Gaaaa…anyways, hope you like and please reviews!!

(1) For all those that don't get this expression, it means something so disturbingly there, something really hard to ignore that people just don't want to acknowledge… or do acknowledge, want to talk about, but, knowing it is a taboo topic, chooses not to do so..This is used usually in terms of a scandalous affair (i.e. a husband cheating on his wife with her sister-this is just a random example) that everyone knows about but doesn't want to talk about, though they're dying to do so. It's just so obvious, so right there in your face, that no one can ignore it…

(2) Does anyone else catch the irony that Ed's talking about…?


	12. The Price You Pay

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FMA or any of its characters. I do, however own this plot and such so, meh…

**Warnings:** Confusing parts in the very beginning (it might not make much sense), yaoi (boyxboy, don't like then hit the back button or read another fic.), language, and maybe some OCness…though I'm not quite sure if it's that bad…

There is a good reason for Ed's and Al's seemingly switched personalities…-laughs- it'll become clearer later on..

And so it drags on…I'm a bit cruel in this chapter for…well, you'll see. Next one however will put an entirely new spin on things and will quite possibly have a lot more…_action_ going on…(as if there wasn't enough drama)-coughs-

**Strings of the Heart**

_**Movement 12:**_ The Price You Pay

"…M…Mustang…??"

The frightened, almost child-like whisper pierced the silence as two strong hands rested on his shoulders. The words he had just read were burned into his mind and spun on autopilot. Who else could it have been? Unless somehow Mustang had acquired very, very good acting skills and acted upon a very good hunch…but no… Though the voice, the very essence, presence behind him, that all too unique scent waffling into his nose…

_That can't be him because all that…_

_Belongs to sensei…_

"You have truly overstepped things this time, love…" the voice mumbled, hands tightening. Ed squirmed, heart racing. _L-love…?_

"Mu-mustang, if this is some kind of weird, whacked up j-joke…" But even the threat died quickly on his lips. Would Roy's voice sound like that…?

A soft sigh whispered past his ear, almost hurt. "If it were a joke I wouldn't have found you in here reading what is for private eyes only…but, well, seeing as things can no longer be as they were…"

"I…don't understand anything.." Ed croaked, head spinning. Was this Mustang, someone else entirely or was it sensei…? And for private eyes only?_Things…have just stopped making sense the moment I met Mustang, so how am I supposed to sort though this one??_ He wasn't sure how he'd deal with Mustang-if it truly was him- but sensei would have been a pick he would have gladly had-were it not for that sad, disappointed tone in the speaker's voice. In the glare of the computer screen he had only partially finished, he couldn't even make out a faint outline or reflection from behind him… "Who…are you and what…I don't…"

"Look back to the screen, Edward…" The voice whispered hoarsely-how had it known that he had quickly looked down to the keyboard in front of him? "Edward…please." The blond slowly raised his eyes back again as the voice continued-" Now what do you see?"

The program was still blaring the cursed words that Ed had so foolishly stumbled upon but this time…

He saw, faintly, himself reflected in the screen…but

There was no one behind him.

With a cry, he whirled, hand knocking the weight around his shoulders away-and froze.

The speaker looked slightly surprised by the sudden movement but quietly took it in stride and, stepping back, folded their arms across their chest. Ed's jaw dropped and he was quite sure that if it had dropped any lower it would have hit the ground.

It was a man, clear enough but it was the features that threw everything he ever knew out the window. The very air around the man radiated with something more than just natural charisma-it was something truly unearthly. If that wasn't enough, two ebony black wings had partially unfurled from the male's back, uninjured and only intensifying the surrealist nature of the situation. But it wasn't the wings, nor was it the slightly pale skin that only made the silk shirt and tight black pants he wore stand out, and not even the slightly short black hair in that oh-so-familiar style but…

It was the two regretful coal black eyes that gazed back at him that shattered the blond's soul.

_**Be careful what you wish for, Edward…because you just got it….**_

"I….I…" Ed was at a loss for words because here and now, was the very image yet not exactly that of his band teacher, Roy Mustang. The features were almost exactly identical, save for the very obvious upsweep of winged appendages and the enhanced appearance brought on by some unknown force working internally.

"You…but…wait…I…" Ed stammered, his voice starting to fail him "There wasn't…a r-reflection…and…and I…you look like…or are you…?!"

"If I knew your disbelief was this bad I wouldn't have snuck up on you." A ghost of a smile appeared on the man's features but it withered away. He uncrossed his arms and let his wings stretch slightly, making Ed stagger backwards reflexively. "Your heart wished, _ached_ to see me unhindered and in my normal state, Eddy…" The blond shivered as the nickname rolled off his tongue. "And now you look slightly horrified, regretful that you ever wished such a thing…" He suddenly advanced, making the back of Ed's legs crash into the high back of the chair. The smaller boy winced as the dark haired male reached out swiftly to grip his shoulders again. "I told you to be careful what you wished for, Eddy…and now look at what you've made us do…" Dark long eyelashes fluttered over pale cheeks and Ed wanted nothing more in that moment but to kiss those slightly closed eyelids. "You made me kiss you, fall for you, want anything and everything to do with you, made me break every Law, every Code just to come down here….and all that was for you…"

"But…But I…sensei…" Ed whimpered slightly, swallowing meekly. The admission, though simple in nature, was heavy, loaded.

Of course, from the very moment Edward Elric met the man who was now in front of him, he knew that this person was not of this world. For someone who had made him something so refined and almost flawless, who had granted his wish literally in the exchange…

"You don't want this anymore do you?"

The tone in the man's voice was slightly colder now, but it rang also with despair. Edward swallowed dryly, unable to voice any of the thoughts racing though his mind.

_Yes, yes I do want this…I've wanted this for a very long time, ever since you become my one and only sensei and no, please don't give me that look…I'm just startled, that's all…you scared me and maybe truth be told you still do….but it is only your mere presence that overwhelms me and takes me hostage that frightens me…but it's so heart-endearingly chaotic…_

"I can't say no." Ed mumbled finally. Slightly unsure of what the blond meant, he stayed silent. "I mean…you're just so-you defy and drown all the senses I have just standing there…"

"And it positively overwhelms you in a blissfully chaotic way, doesn't it?" Smiling slightly now, he let his hands drop from the boy's shoulder. It appeared as if that had been the answer he had been looking for. "I can't say I'm sorry but…I tend to have that effect on people."

_I'm honored that I do that to you though it's only to be expected, coming from me…just standing here…don't you know you overwhelm me too?_

Edward merely nodded, averting his eyes to the floor and the conversation fell into a lull. It wasn't that much of an uncomfortable silence at first, but the tension-for whatever reason it cropped up-soon became so stifling that, within minutes, the shorter blond began twiddling with his braid. A thing he never did, since he knew it made him look like such a **girl**…

Never mind that he was fiddling with his hair, but when did the room become all slightly fuzzy like it was becoming now? That didn't make any sense…

"Nervous now aren't we?"

The teasing tone in a voice that sound so much more familiar made Edwards head jerk up. What he saw made his face clouded over with confusion and great annoyance as everything suddenly came back into sharp relief. There was no unearthly beautiful man standing in front of him-the man that must have been his sensei-but a much more annoying presence.

"Shut your trap Mustang." Ed shot back on autopilot while his mind instantly mulled over the whole situation in confusion. Wasn't his sensei just standing in front of him, just now, talking to him, looking almost exactly like his teacher? Mustang had been gone for sure-he had known that much. Right?

"Not as important as to what you are doing in my office trying to read a personal memo that was meant to go to the principal today." The older man looked highly unamused and Edward openly gapped at him.

_A memo…to the principal?? With all that obsessive stuff on it?? Ubber stalker status…_

"Why-why would you send something like that about me to the principal of all people??" Edward screeched, slightly going pink. It wasn't as if he could exactly forget some of the more…unholy descriptions about him.

"Because it's pretty much true." Mustang still didn't seem to have a trace of anything but great annoyance which only made Ed's eyes bulge even more in disbelief.

"Are you kidding me?? You'll sound like-like a _**pedophile**_!!!"

A rather startled look passed over Roy's face.

"A pedophile?? Where in the world does that play in?? A **pedophile**?? Me calling you a "slight verbal abuser" and "a talented but high-stung individual" is grounds for pedophilia? Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but you really are that and a load of other things I briefly mentioned in that entire thing! If that's your definition of pedophilia then-" At this Mustang shook his head, apparently unable to continue.

"_Huh_??"

"Don't "huh?" me! Since you've obviously been perusing through my private files, that shouldn't be news to you!"

_Wait a minute…_

Edward quickly looked back to the screen and blinked furiously. Instead of what had been a word program meant only for Roy's eyes, there was an official looking email program with the receiver being-damn it all-the principal himself.

But he could have absolutely_ sworn_…

"Now, obviously, for breaking into my office and entering while I was at a meeting all day is grounds for me to send you directly to the office," The older man continued, still looking highly offended. "I won't. However, that doesn't mean you're off the hook. I'll think of my own little punishment soon enough…"

_After all, it's the price you pay, isn't it?_

-#-#-#-

"…and damnit, it just doesn't seem right at all!" Ed burst out angrily, throwing a pillow at the opposite wall. Al sighed sympathetically, sitting cross-legged on the bed. Ed was in one of those moods again and-not surprisingly, it was over Mustang.

_Should I tell him yet…?_ Al mused silently and Ed's lower lip jutted into a exaggerated pout. _Maybe…when he's calmer…if he ever does get calmer…_

"What's with the look on your face, Al?" Ed grumbled suddenly, snapping Al from his musings. "Did you even hear what I said?"

"Yes, brother, I did." The resigned reply was automatic. When Ed was in a fit, he knew enough nowadays not to blow him off. That had been the mistake the first few times he did. "And here's what I think-but don't go all ballistic on me for saying it." Already a stormy expression clouded Ed's face and Al winced inwardly. _Great. He's suspicious… _"I think…you were just imagining things."

"Just_ imaging_ things??" Screeching was not something the younger Elric enjoyed and it seemed to be a frequent for his older brother. "Just imagining-yeah, like hell I would imagine Roy having some sneaky obsession over me with pictures plaster all over his walls and that freaky private memo to himself thing…!! Okay, well, maybe it wasn't to himself but to someone else-" Ed shuddered involuntarily. Never mind that it was his private…whatever it was. The idea of him even discussing his obsessions with someone else was just too…creepy. Yeah. That was the word. And Edward had deliberately left chunks of the story untold. Even the older blond would be hard pressed to say that anyone would believe what really happened.

"Wha…? Wait a minute…did you just call him Roy?" Al mumbled. Edward's frown darkened considerably-if that was even possible.

"And?"

"So when did he go from 'Bastard Mustang' to 'Roy'?" It hadn't meant to come off as a jibe of any sort but there was instant offense taken.

"Al!! That's not even important! Roy, Mustang, Bastard Mustang, it's really all the same to me-just one offending term after another! And just him in general-it's a real eye sore not to mention mental sore! I don't even see the point-"

Al's face suddenly went blank. Puzzled, Ed quieted in mid rant and the room fell into a awkward silence. Something in the younger Elric's mind seemed to click and he was suddenly caught up in a fit of laughter much to Edward's bewilderment.

"Al, what the hell-??"

"You…you…" He couldn't seem to speak through the giggles. "You-You have a crush on Mustang, don't you."

It wasn't a question, not even an accusation-more like a realized statement.

If Al had thought any other times Edward had lost his temper was bad, that was nothing compared to what came spewing from his older brother's mouth.

"CRUSH??? ME, HAVE A CRUSH ON MUSTANG?? HAVE YOU GONE POSSITIVELY MENTAL?? AND I THOUGHT YOU HATED THE GUY!!! ARGH!! ROY'S NOT EVEN MY TYPE, LET ALONE IN MY AGE GROUP-"

"So then you're saying you'd go for him if he wasn't older than you?" Al was maybe having a bit too much fun with this. He had had a bad week, having to know the things he was forced to keep silent about in regards to Ed's infamous band teacher. So was it a crime to tease Edward just a little bit?

"**AL!!!"** Ho boy, the younger brother had really done it now. Al snickered as Ed raged on. "EVEN IF HE _WAS_ YOUNGER, I STILL PROBABLY WOULDN'T! Besides…" Ed's voice had instantly softened to such a shocking degree that Al twitched. "I already…I already love someone else…it would be wrong of me…"

…_to even go for Mustang anyways…_

Edward looked away, a faint rosy tint to his face. It was clear that he hadn't really meant to say that out loud-it had been merely a thought voiced unbidden.

Struck by this sudden taming of temper, Al leaned back a bit, folding his arms.

_He's definitely a lot calmer…_

"I didn't…know…wow, Ed, that's…" He shook his head. Hearing something like that from Edward Elric, the person who swore he would never love, had never loved and would never love…_ But is the person you love someone you're willing to forgive once you know the truth? I would certainly hope so…for both your sakes._"I know this is a bit off-topic…well, not so much…but I think there's something about Mustang that you really ought to know-"

The faint ring of the doorbell downstairs cut Al's words off. The squee of the maids instantly made the perpetual frown reappear on Edward's face and a new one form on Al's face.

_Perfect timing you always have, do you not, Roy Mustang? And right when it would have damaged you the most…_

"Stupid Mustang…can't he just quit it already…?" And he slunk off the bed, mumbled more abuses against his band teacher. The younger Elric sighed inwardly. So much for being informative and helpful for once… Edward stomped off to the door, effectively slamming it behind him.

"I'm really starting to tire of this game you're playing with him, 'Roy Mustang'." The younger Elric whispered quietly, eyes unfocused. As the chatter of female voices and one rather loud male one floated upwards, he could have sworn he felt the firm smack of feathered wings on his spine.

_**My story is not yours to tell, Alphonse…and do not even fool yourself for a minute that it ever was or will be…**_

The boy got up and strolled with shuffling steps to the door. Downstairs, Ed was half screaming something to the effect of having unhealthy obsessions and quite possibly calling the cops on Mustang for even showing up. Al couldn't hear what the older man was saying, but he had a feeling it was something along his usual ways of mastered mannerisms, as his voice was much quieter than Ed's.

"And it's somehow yours and yours alone? Better to warn him now before you tear his heart apart…and for that, you know I will not be forgiving."

_**Same to you-it is not you that decides who he loves**_. A chilling gust bit his ankles. _**And I too will not hesitate to dispose of you if you even dare to put a rift between the balance I've struck. Remember that well, young Elric...for it will be the price you pay for your insolent interference…**_

_A price I'm willing to pay if only for you Ed_, Al asserted darkly as he left the room, the faint trilling note of an otherworldly violin ghosting past his ears.

-#-#-#-

Whoas, so Al knows much more, apparently, that Ed does…even the fact that Roy is synonymous to sensei! (Ha, yes, I've finally spilled it, they are definitely one and the same. Ironic that poor Ed doesn't know…)

Yes, if you wish, you can all batter me with sticks, bats and whatever else you have on hand for a very late update…-winces, expecting the blows of fangirls (and boys?) to rain down upon her- gaaa…I will try and do better and I'm just a bit harried right now over my grades…well, that aside, please read and reviews!


	13. Eternal Possesion

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or any of its characters

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FMA or any of its characters. I do, however own this plot and such so, meh…

**Warnings:** Confusing parts in the very beginning (it might not make much sense), yaoi (boyxboy, don't like then hit the back button or read another fic.), language, and maybe some OCness…though I'm not quite sure if it's that bad…

There is a good reason for Ed's and Al's seemingly switched personalities…-laughs- it'll become clearer later on.. (But when, ah, that is the eternal question...that and when will Roy/Ed get it on, LOL…)

After a long time not updating, I have finally found the fire to keep going. I was afraid that after not updating it for a while that people would loose interest in the story. It was the fact I had so much going on in my personal life with my boyfriend and all that I had to stay off for a bit but still…I do feel bad keeping all my readers hanging! It makes me happy in that nostalgic way, to come back and read all that I had typed. Sometimes, I wonder where my gems of brilliance came from, but really I more often stumble upon why anyone considered some of the stuff I wrote actually good with all those occasional phrasing mistakes, grammatical errors and just sometimes plain crappiness.

Though I'm sure I will be fiercely debated on that point. laughs Well, here's the next chapter of Strings of the Heart. Hope it is still up to par with what people are used to seeing from me. And once again, I deeply apologize for the ridiculously long-awaited (hopefully!) update!

**Strings of the Heart**

_**Movement 13:**_ Eternal Possession

"Get out!"

Edward Elric was not a very happy person. Having to face Roy Mustang twice in less than an hour was not his top choice at the moment. No, if he even had any say at all, he would have tried to move to another high school in another town or city. Hmmm, maybe perhaps even another country…

But for now, he was cornered, trapped in the same room he had practiced in so much, still in his school clothes with Mustang calmly assessing him every now and then while pulling out his violin.

"No."

The simple denial in that oh-so-infuriatingly calm voice only added fuel to the fire. Edward stomped his foot on the carpet, knowing full well that it would appear childish to anyone, particularly the dark haired man. Said man, however, had only raised a faint eyebrow of amusement before plucking the strings quietly with one finger to tune.

"This is my house, dammit, and I_ refuse_ to have lessons today! I'm not in the mood!" Ed seethed, running angry fingers through his blond bangs.

"You've never been in any kind of mood for anything Edward. Not recently." Roy mumbled quietly, still plucking the strings in deep thought.

"Not in any kind of-you make it sound as if I've been in anything but a shity mood around you!!"

"But you have Edward."

Silence.

The blond was truly struck speechless-but it was just as much from pure affronted rage as bewilderment. Did the man really believe -??

"Excuse me?" Roy merely sighed quietly, his foot scrapping the carpet. Ed was fuming so badly, the black haired male wouldn't have been surprised if everything around them would have suddenly caught fire from the intense rage. "You always make me feel so worked up, irritated and just plain hateful! No one has ever made me feel this-argh!" He kicked his violin case, which popped open upon contact with his foot.

"Edward Elric, That is enough!" The blond teen didn't even see it coming. One moment he was pacing up and down, his fist waving wildly with gesticulations, the next he was being gripped tightly by his flesh wrist. Yanked to a halt, he was forced to look down into burning onyx eyes. "You are acting like a child. You are going to perform in less than two weeks. You have not been practicing."

"I don't need to." Ed hissed, trying to yank himself from the iron grip. That tone of voice wouldn't get Mustang anywhere, not with him buy a long shot. The nerve of him…! _Smart bastard…grabbing me by my regular wrist instead of my metal one…_ "Can't you tell, I don't need anyone else teaching me, I am my own master-"

"You need no one?" Roy challenged, his own voice clouding over in anger. "Can you honestly tell me that without lying though your teeth?"

Ed clamped his mouth shut, still trying to squirm out of his grip. He wasn't going to back down, not now.

_It's so easy to tell him that. Just hurt his ego a bit…_Ed told himself sternly.

But he remained silent.

"That's what I knew all along…" the older male leaned back, still gripping the younger one firmly. _You can't escape me because you are my eternal possession. The minute I had your first kiss you were mine. Mine and mine alone._ Ed struggled to remain planted firmly on his two feet, nearly tripping over his case in the process. The look he was getting now started to make his knees go weak.

"You know nothing-" Ed began, but he was forced into a smothering, bone-crushing embrace that knocked the breath out of him. It came out of the blue and even though Ed screamed at his muscles to respond, they refused to put up a fight. And despite it all, despite his best intentions, he suddenly went slack, just allowing himself to feel, not think, but feel…

They shouldn't be doing this. He shouldn't be allowing this. It was wrong. Forbidden. A betrayal at so many levels and it wasn't even a kiss…

Why was everything so complicated? He didn't want this, no, not at all…

_And no one can stand between us-not even Alphonse._

-#-

_I won't allow this any longer!_

Al clenched a book in his hand, trembling. The one thing, the only thing that would become the man's undoing…

_His precious sensei destroyed his body, all for the pursuit of fulfilling my brother's wish…and now he's suddenly alive and waking among the living? It was so much better when he wasn't manifesting himself in the real world, but now?_ Al propped open the book again, mouthing the passages to himself. _No, now, Ed'll destroy himself with the love he has for that man._

_I will put an end to it._

_Even if it kills me._

-#-

"Mustang, y-you bastard, let me go…"

"You're trembling. You're stressed out." Soft whispers only sent more of those shivers Ed knew he shouldn't have except for his sensei, his beautiful dark angel. He felt heat roll up his body and he was trying vainly to convince himself that it was building rage and disgust for this improper hug. His body couldn't possibly singing softly from the contact, wanting more and more…

"Because you're being a pedophile, hugging me when I don't…"

"You _do_ want this, Ed…" The soft rasp cutting off his sentence sent true chills down his spine. Maybe he really should have gotten Roy fired and locked up in jail before it was to even get this far. Ed made a few indistinct noises in his throat, to which Roy responded by shushing him. "Relax, Ed…you're shuddering. Tense." Hands gently ran up his back tracing familiar patterns that made the blond unwilling go limp. _You are mine for eternity…but you just can't help hating yet loving me. Isn't it almost too much for you to handle? Run away from me-if you have the strength and will to do so. _"I'm only trying to help you for your upcoming performance…" his other arm wrapped around the younger teen's thin body tighter.

"This isn't helping." He was still fighting the weakness overcoming him as his face was pulled closer to Roy's chest. The faint beating of his heart seemed to speed up and it only made the heat in Ed's body curse to fever pitch. His ears filled with a dull roar. "I told you I need nothing from you." _I only need my sensei. I want sensei holding me, making my blood sing with the symphonies only he can make my body compose…I want him and need only him._

_Not you._

-#-

_My brother…can no long associate himself with that man._

He rushed down the halls, a rage all of its own coursing though his blood.

'_Roy Mustang'…this will be the end of you. _

_This will be your final lesson._

-#-

_**I don't need absolute perfection. You've been mistaken all along.**_

This wasn't reality any more. The blond wasn't even sure if he was still even fully conscious. Maybe the stress of the day was getting to him…being held by Mustang with all the conflicting emotions only made him terrified when his beloved's voice floated though the haze of his mind. But to be told he didn't need perfection…? None of this could possibly be truly real, so that was reason enough to go on that this wasn't Mustang right? That Mustang hadn't been here all along and that it was someone else…?

_**I need only to know you will love me always and forever.**_

For once, he couldn't care less-if it was Roy Mustang or his sensei. For now they were one and the same and for him the only thing that mattered was that he was now submitting to a searing, gentle kiss. All that mattered was that his blood was rushing and he was moaning, his love was moaning and it was everything that made the world right. It was just like that night-nothing was in their way except the air they needed to breathe.

_**I need to hear you say it. Say it, my Eddy…**_

Ed pulled away, eyes half closed with his gaze fixed on firm inviting lips. "You are my one and only love, sensei…I will love you always…and forever…" And he was drowning again. Something new leapt up in his heart and he groaned, feeling a slightly tight feeling below his waist as hands reached for him again. He needed more, no matter how sinful he was feeling at the moment. The elder's touch was driving every nerve insane. He had never felt so needy in his life. This was their secret and if it was only his fantasy to believe what he wished, he could always make sure Mustang would keep quiet…

And then he heard the one thing that made his whole world darker than it had ever been.

"Ed??"

His lust now suddenly crushed he yanked away from the feverish kisses, the sliding, groping hands and turned his horrified gaze to the form now standing in the doorway. Edward had never seen such a vicious look of contempt on his bother's face. He was breathing hard, but he was directing his attention more to who he was letting himself get ravaged by than anyone.

"This ends now, 'Roy Mustang'!" A fist slammed into the wall next to the door. Ed didn't really care right at the moment that it appeared to look like Roy in front of his brother. It was perhaps sensei's way of protection…or it was…

His mind refused to mule out what exactly was going on anymore. He felt faint.

_My brother just caught me being ravished by Mustang._ His mind slowly worked out that thought_. And I…enjoyed every minute of it._

"Al…" Mustang growled with venom, releasing Ed. _I told him, warned him to stay away…_ Ed crumpled to the floor in shock, some of his old awareness flowing back into him."I am busy here, if you don't mind. If you would be so kind as to escort yourself out-"

"Busy molesting my brother?" Al took a step into the room. "Or busy signing his life away and filling his mind with the lie that you are in love with him?"

_Signing…my life away…? What the heck is my brother talking about??_ Never mind that Roy just managed to make him fall in the wrong direction for someone he shouldn't be falling for…

Narrow dark eyes studied the boy.

"What did you say? Signing his life away? Making him believe a lie that I love him?" Repeating the words wasn't helping the older Elric's mentality. He clutched a hand to his head, not caring whether it was hard metal or soft flesh, and squeezed his eyes shut. What was he to believe? Mustang, harsh reality, or his sensei, the soothing illusion?

They were one and the same, weren't they?

"Let him go and forget about you while he still can. Let him lead a normal life without you and your sick influence!" Ed had barely noticed that his younger sibling held a book in one dangling hand. As he said these words however, the book was gripped more securely. Roy's expression darkened.

"I told you that you would pay for your interference in matters that don't concern you."

"They do when it comes to whether my brother will live at all!"

The older blond was watching the verbal sparing, still half lost in the memory of how it felt to be kissed. Though really, he knew he should have been paying more to the spoken words than anything, that dark scowl on Mustang's face was highly unnerving. Where a bright flush from lust was, there now was only a darker flush of boiling annoyance. Mustang's mouth was thinly set, strong, yet seemingly on the brink of allowing a sever tongue lashing.

_I kissed that mouth…_

"Your brother is in no danger of dying."

Al flinched as if struck. He suddenly burst out, throat working furiously to push out the words.

"Then…then go tell that to all the other's you've professed to love and whom you've killed by granting their wishes, Sensei Mustang!!"

-#-#-#-

Whoa, the surprises just keep building upon themselves. I'll leave all my readers to make they're commentary this time instead of me commenting on what I wrote for once. laughs But don't worry, if you liked my commentary and still do, you'll have me doing so in the next chapter. (that's all hoping that you'll still stick around for that one!) I can't express how truly sorry I am for keep you all waiting this long and I hope this update makes yous happy grins so don't forget-the review button is your friend…


	14. DC Al Insanity

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FMA or any of its characters. I do, however own this plot and such so, meh…

**Warnings:** yaoi (boyxboy, don't like then hit the back button or read another fic.), language, and maybe some OCness…though I'm not quite sure if it's that bad…

Al's OCness is finally explained! weewt!

Man it's been such a long while X . x I read all the reviews and I almost cried as I kept seeing all the readers, reviewers etc. Now that I've graduated from high school and can get moving with the career that I've wanted for a while, I can move back home to my fanfic home. Here's to hoping that none of you have been too mad at my absence *hides*

**Strings of the Heart**

_**Movement 14:**_ D.C. Al Insanity

Ed was thunderstruck. He closed his eyes, trying to will his doubts, his feeling of hurt and despair away. There was a heavy silence in which Mustang made no reply, his normally calm face now burdened with alarming distress.

_Of course none of this is true. Right?_

"How-wait, Al how do you know that Mustang-Mustang is Sensei?" The younger violin player's sentence with three different tracks blazing at once couldn't manage a more coherent sentence than this. He wished he had more control of his mind than this but none of his lessons ever prepared his for anything like this. Ed's younger brother was stone faced, very unlike his usually rebellious vigor and that alone made Edward feel weak kneed. His thoughts burst painfully into a wildfire of memories-losing his arm and leg that fateful night to have them replaced, to feel that throbbing voice crooning against his ear, all the pent up frustration thrown at the man who was supposedly one and the same with his sensei-and all this only drove a more painful stake into his heart.

"You have done enough damage to this family, Sensei!" Edward flinched as Al's tone became downright nasty. In all his life, he had never seen Al look so livid and so out of keeping with the the person Ed had grown to like. Fists balled and complexion turning a drunk man's red, the elder Elric stumbled to his feet to escape being in close proximity between the waring parties. "You've wrought one too many wish granting here and you selected your next poor victim to dine and drown in the depths of a sultry hell with you!"_ One too many wishes?_

"You got what you wanted too, Alphonse," Roy paused, another twitch of guilty irritancy as Edward made a confused, whimpering noise. "You wished to be brilliant like your brother-to switch personalities with him. I did not love you like I did Edward-and because I loved your brother you were spared from my kind…" While Ed's heart soared at this confirmation of his sensei's true feelings, a new wave of dread washed over him. He didn't want to comprehend what was unfolding before him but at the same time…

_Is this why Al has been reacting so violently to the mention of Roy? I thought Sensei—Mustang had only touched me…but he said that he didn't love Al, so why am I still feeling suddenly so-angry towards Al and Roy's interaction?_ He closed his now deep honey eyes darkened by what felt like raging jealousy as Al retorted-

"Your love is what messed up his mind and ruined my life." Now Al was calmly furious. "Edward can't fall in love properly with someone who will be there for him, who is normal, who didn't rip away parts of him in exchange for an ability he doesn't understand to what extent it can destroy him."

"And you are any better?" Now Roy was on the offense. "You fell in love with him too, in a way that made you loathe who you were and far from wishing yourself dead, which would have been entirely selfish, you instead merely wished to be like him, to have his personality. To get away from death in either one of you I bent the rules-"

At this Ed finally chocked out a resemblance of a sentence.

"Of course Al loves me-I couldn't have ever had a more caring brother-"

"Ed-!" And for once Al seemed to have lost all the fire in him. _Why does Al look suddenly so sad and just as distressed as Mustang does? _"That's not-that's not what he means or I mean at all…" And again Ed received the second shock of the day.

"I love you too, Edward."

-#-#-#-

**I can grant you any wish you so desire.**

Anything? Anything at all?

**At a price.**

Well, I…I love him. It's not right and mom and dad will be so mad at me but how can I help what I feel? You…you can help me-? Can't you? I don't want to die before him and I can't bear the fact that he's my brother who will never love me more than that-a brother. Won't you help me?

…

Is it too much to ask? Let my old self die then if death is needed and let me have his personality. Then I can always have him with me-forever.

**Is that what you truly want?**

As long as I can keep a part of him with me-in me-to love and hold then I can never be unhappy.

**Granted.**

-#-#-#-

"I wasn't satisfied but it was too late. You had who you were ripped from you before you realized what was happening. The music was your escape, and that was the only thing that was 'you' that I couldn't have. I was content with that, but when your 'sensei' began to hold your heart captive, I became increasingly enraged. Do you know what it's like to remember who you are, then have it replaced with a persona that you've feel in love with, yet seeing the person you're still in love with hold your heart? I made just as much of a fool's wish as you did, Edward..."

Edward was dumbfounded. His younger brother looked away, shame faced as sensei look on mildly with a eerie state of composure. _Al…Al was in love with me. And I was too blind to notice. Even though..I can't…returned those feelings, I still can't believe…I've been so blind, with my music and my dark angels love to keep me warm in the night._

"Al…" But what could he say? That feeling of wanting to be like Al was really his feeling of wanting to be himself, in the end. Which was an odd disconcerting revelation. _He loved who I was so he took my personality, swapped with his own so that he could keep my personality that he loved so much inside of him?_ "I'm not sure…what to think-"

Edward had only wished to be _almost_ perfect, to escape the fear of ultimate perfection. Al had wished to have Edward with him forever in a way that was most painful. Sighing in frustration, he tugged on his shirt, breastbone thumping roughly against his balled up fist. He had never done anything to deserve such a twisted agony-his brother who was forbidden to begin with, someone he-and he hurt even more to think it-was unable to love in return the same way, and his now physical-formed lover who was Roy Mustang, a teacher that had made him feel like the whole of his almost perfection still didn't make him better than those older, wiser and more practiced. _Even though I tore them to shreds, driven them to insanity or made them cry from the beauty that I played…_

Roy had sworn to him that he would be easily better than any walking creature by far and his name would be lavishly praised in many languages. He dropped his head, now slightly sweat drenched bangs plaster themselves onto his cheeks. But what of that mattered when his brother was, in a weird way, making love to his personality? Not that he was _directly_ violating him, but…the violinist groaned softly as an image of Mustang brushed his conscious.

"Please…both of you-leave me alone." The rough whisper made both Al and Mustang flinch violently. It was taut, a string not tuned correctly. It made Mustang's skin crawl for he had never heard anything out of tune from him, not his voice, his playing, his soul. But someone hadn't fixed him properly. Al gazed on helplessly at his brother, struggling with fear, raging disgust and annoyance towards Mustang as per his usual feelings and a sense of longing just to hold his older brother in his arms. "I need to be alone…with my own thoughts.." and he leaned against the door in a tired dejected lump, face dark and brooding. Without so much a whisper, Mustang slipped out of the room followed by a reluctant Al.

_There was a reasonable breadth of death in these wishes that allowed me to bend it as I wished. I would not be penalized. _

_It was Edward-my Edward-his spirit drew me to him. He loved music, I loved him-there is so much simplicity in it that there can be no way it is made complex. He returned my feelings, but in such a child like innocent way that I can not-could not accept it at first. However…now he knows. He knows who I am, where I stand-Roy Mustang, Angel of Consequence Wishes. I can give him all that he wants or all that he'd hate but there can be no happy ending for us. He will still-_

A rustling next to him broke his brooding thoughts. The younger Elric had slid next to him, legs curled up against his body. Al wrapped his arms around his scrunched up legs and sighed, looking vaguely at the wall, chin resting between the valley made by his knees. They were sitting in a circular room, the room where-Roy smiled painfully fond-Edward had his first encounter with him. A rueful voice stirred Mustang form his musings.

"Why couldn't you love me?"

The question took the angel by surprise-so much so his wings instinctively emerged and twitched.

"You were not Edward."

"You gave me Ed's personality-isn't that what you loved?"

Roy felt dangerous waters and he vainly tried to steer clear.

"What I loved was something that even I could never take away-his love for music." It was such a simplistic statement that left Al even more bristling. "Alfonse, what Ed and you posses isn't merely a difference in personality, in popularity, status, merit, athletics or ever looks. It's something much more than that and you can not understand it as you are now_." You so desperately want to be loved by your brother but because you have him so close yet so far out of reach both inside and out, the turmoil is getting to be too much._

"And Ed's so much better at understanding than I am?" The warmer blonde shook his head, feeling volatile passion making him taste bile. "I had everything he didn't before and I was so sick of being almost perfect-he was sick of never being that. I gave him me and he gave me him and we could have been happy," Al's voice rose, a maniac look burning in his eyes as he lifted his head up from his knees. "If it wasn't for him falling in love with-"

He stopped, mid rant as a trilling of a soul burning note pierced through the walls. The two scrambled up from the floor and were instantly struck with a mix of raw exhilaration and deep pain.

"Edward-"

-#-#-#-

He spoke of love, of betrayal, of conflicting feelings, of want, _need_. The agony ripped though the strings and they gave a resistant moan under his driving fingers. This was no ordinary concerto but a piece gone horribly, more awry than even the most drug induced opera writer.

Edward barely noticed the blood now dripping and making the strings slippery and wet. The wood creaked its protests, pleading for a short rest. Not this time. Fingers wrought, now eerily addicted to the sound of tearing flesh from his finger tips, he rammed the bow with blinding, fast strokes.

_**Oh Eddy…**_

He could hear it above the frantic notes, his own mind whispered a fantasy that breathed from his instrument.

_Another low moan. __**Eddy…**_

Heat swelled in him around him, feeling as if his bare bone was now rubbing against the taught metal strings. It didn't hurt, not anymore-the wood was now no longer a mahogany but looked deep red black. The strings were drenched but he no longer cared. He needed to forget this time what made him so messed up. Not complete perfection, but is was just enough to make him be wanted by Mustang. And that was enough for him-to be wanted by his dark angel. The whirl of notes became violent, wanton and dripping with lewd imagery.

_**Ohhh..Eddy I want you so bad…Ahh-!**_

The gasp in his mind made heat rise in his groin and he moaned softly. How _badly_ he wanted Mustang-it wasn't a violation on sensei, for they were one and the same…

A shudder. _**Eddy I-I'm about to-!**_

"Ahh!" Edward couldn't hold back the loud moan as he felt a wave of hotness explode in his pants. His face rouge, Ed shivered, his mind drifting somewhere darker, lest real than the room around him. His music pulsed strongly in his ear and it almost didn't feel as if he were playing the music as much that it was playing him.

"ED!"

And he let out a screech as the music was stopped abruptly, his violin, bloodied and glistening was wrenched form his grasp.

_No…_

**Stop.**

Sobbing and feeling a wave of dizzy pain from his nearly torn raw to the bone fingers, he collapsed into Mustang's grip. His nether regions prickled uncomfortably as Roy breathed slowly into his neck and ear.

**I heard you loud and clear, Edward.**

His instrument was laid carefully on the floor, a crimson puddle forming beneath it. Edward her himself sigh, heard his instrument sigh and all strings snapped gently. A searing graze of the dark angel's lips moistened with his tongue ran down Edward's sweating neck and his breath caught in his throat. It was too much. Dizzy, he could faintly hear his own melody echoing though the room and the soft sob of Al against the closed door. Long fingers gently cupped his chin from behind and he was swept into a full embrace.

**Every day there's always the chance of death around me…**

His aching back, drenched with perspiration now not from playing but form something more animalistic, writhed against Mustang. His already straining pants were bulging with a new raging want and it was all he could do to beg for Roy to undress him right there. He knew Al was watching and his heart must have been shattering into a thousand pieces. The door slightly creaked reaffirming his assumption.

**Even so, do you still want to take the Russian Roulette of my love?**

He felt his fingers burning with a new wave of pain as Mustang gently took his flesh hand in his. Wordless he played with the near bone raw digits and Edward slumped against the warm chest. He counted the man's heart beats and mentally ticked off the tempo at one hundred and eighty. Very fast. The pain eased away and he felt the new raw flesh being repaired but he was too busy looking into a dazzling depth of black he didn't even bother to say thank you. But that wasn't a necessary formality-Mustang already knew.

**You'll never know when the next chamber is empty or loaded with your name written on it…**

"I'll take that risk…" Edward spoke for the first time, and the angel gave a start, thinking that Ed had been too busy being entranced he wasn't listening. _Of course, he would listen. He was trained to listen, trained to pick the little things up in sound_. The door clicked shut with another soft sob as Edward surrendered himself to Roy's hesitant lips.

"Your tempo is off .." the student mumbled in the brief pause between the kiss. Inky pools gazed hazily in confusion and then he understood as a hand was placed upon his heart. It skipped a beat again as a finger lazily traced a heart shape across his chest. If he wasn't so wrapped up in wanting to ravage the person in front of him he would have laughed softly at the tease. But it did little more than set Roy's passion ablaze. The tingling temperature around the two lovers sizzled into fruition as Edward shyly resumed where Roy had left off. Experimental-that was the musician's mood today.

The next contact between them was lingering, sizzled with the steam of cold raindrops on a hot desert road barely remembering what rain felt like. Ed let another moan sift though the haze of the music in his head and he felt the rhythmic thud against his ribcage. Mustang smiled briefly, feeling Edward positively melt under the pressure of his lips. Gasping for air Edward grabbed for his lover's clothes again to hold himself up as the other continued to run his mouth lovingly across his.

"Don't…stop-"

_Not now. Not when I can feel you so close to me. Even if I had to risk your death penalty every day it's worth it to have you as mine, my own to hold-_

The angels of consequence wishes are few and far between. They rarely descend to Earth as they prefer their hidden existences to drive those in love with them to insanity. But some are different. Sometimes they bend the rules. Sometimes they come to Earth and manifest themselves. Sometimes they get too attached and sometimes…they find and make love.

"Mustang!"

Hands clawed at the angel's back, scraping at the wings that fluttered and spilled out to hug him in their dark embrace. Edward screamed again as he felt another thrust jar his soul. A small thread of sweat fell from Roy's nose and splashed onto the older Elric's face. He gasped a bit, biting back another loud moan. It wouldn't do for Edward to hold back-after all where was his sweet melody line of whimpers just seconds earlier? He was being too modest yet again in his presence and Mustang laughed quietly inside. _You hadn't changed much even when I switched your personality. _Smirking, he adjusted his angle and that produced the chorus of whines and gasps he was looking for.

"D-don't-!" He choked out, blushing furiously. "I-I-I can't keep…quiet!" he hissed as Roy delved deeper into him "-when you do-that!"

"I don't intend on having you stay quiet." The murmur sent a frightening delicious chill down Ed's already perspiring back. Roy latched onto his lips languidly before gently wrapping his fingers around the golden strands to pull him upwards. "The only thing you and I might regret is that it wasn't done on your bed. But no matter," he shushed some of the more poignant growls of protest. "Let us stay here, let me feel you wrapped around me…"

And Edward gasped, head tossed in rapture.

**For this is the reason why I broke rank-to be with **_**you**_** and you alone.**

-#-#-#-

I'm on a bit of a role with this fic so I have that muse feeling I'll be finishing it up in the next chapter –gasp- It has been sooooo long I had to remind myself of what I wrote and even then I looked back and asked "This was ME?" Not really in a bad way but if you're an avid writer and come back to something you had wrote long ago…I guess you know what I mean? –laughs- anyways 2 chapters will probably be up today so read, rate, review and rejoice in your inbox having notifications (also if you can take a poke at my profile for my explanation on my absence lol


	15. Roulette Love

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FMA or any of its characters. I do, however own this plot and such so, meh…

**Warnings:** yaoi (boy x boy, don't like then hit the back button or read another fic, you've had fair warning by now I hope :P if you didn't like it I would have hoped you ran out by now lol), language, and maybe some OCness…though I'm not quite sure if it's that bad…

The final installment of my first ever Ed x Roy fic –sighs- I never thought I would find a good ending for it but my muses won't stop bugging me so its best not to keep them or you waiting much longer.

I apologize for the long absence but Im hoping that I'll be getting all my old tales wrapped up and new ones spun.

The **FINAL** chapter in…

**Strings of the Heart**

_**Movement 15:**_ Roulette Love

The week before the big final concert of the year flew by so rapidly Ed scarcely knew where that time all went. Every day Mustang was on edge, snapping even more during rehearsal's and stealing searing looks of worried longing towards the first chair violinist. This didn't escape the notice of the other classmates and it soon began circulating like wildfire that Roy finally cracked and now held Edward-as a teacher's pet.

Edward snickered about this. Far, far from the truth, he was still glad for any cooked up excuse whether by mere accident or otherwise and it was all thanks to Winry. She was very clearly grumbling about how she should have been getting more attention since everyone knew how much Ed was a genius and Roy merely hid his smile behind his conductor's stand. Band was becoming more enjoyable than he ever thought possible and he wondered what he could work into this year's solo as a tribute to his lover.

"Edward Elric I know how attractive you find your superiors but could you come down a bit from the clouds for a few seconds so I can teach properly?" A few people nearly dropped their instruments form laughing so hard and the drummer cracked the set with the infamous da-du-diish of a punch line. The short blonde went a very colorful shade of beet red.

"Well it's a bit hard when you wave that stick around you know." He retorted with brass and the whole class took five minutes to get focused. Mustang shot him an unreadable look and a muttered "In my office after class" mad some of the laughter die fast.

The door was barely slammed shut after everyone had left before Edward was pulled into a raging kiss. Surprised at the sudden spark erupting and dancing across his needy mouth, Edward surrendered weakly. Mustangs had been in a rollercoaster of hot passion and cold teacher and it was hard to tell what he wanted day to day.

"It's a _baton_ first of all-"He breathed raggedly moving his hand roughly over every part of the older Elric while the other was intently tugging itself into his braid. "and second, you need to stop thinking of me like that in class-I can't restrain myself if you do that."

"Thinking like what?" He was genuinely curious. He wasn't sure how much his face or his thoughts betrayed.

"Like you have half your mind on the music and half of it making my body sing as violently as the music in front of you…"

He whimpered softly as Roy descended on him with abandon. He had to make a huge effort to extract himself from his passionate pursuing mouth, much to his teacher's immediate dismay. He didn't mind the attention but here in the office wasn't a good idea, seeing as Ed had just caught in the corner of his eye that Winry had returned to get something in the band room with Al in tow.

Shit.

Mustang felt it too and was no longer half as scandalized.

"I'll see you tomorrow Eddy…"

Flustered, Edward exited, much to Winry's confused looks and Al's slightly mournful grumbling complaints of Mustang still being a "bastard".

-#-#-#-

"So what's really going on with you and Mr. Mustang these days?"

Edward winced and she reattached the automail arm after a routine diagnostics check ran from her juiced up, hacked computer. The hiss of re-bonding metal and port made him wince. Even now he never got used to how effortlessly his arm could be attached and reattached with still some sort of human feeling in them. His leg involuntarily twitched and nearly smashed Winry in the face. With a furious yell, she threw a wrench at Ed's reaffixed arm.

"Watch what you're doing blockhead! You could have nailed me a new one before the concert!"

"I'm sorry it's not my fault you aren't more careful with it!"

"You'd think after all this time I'd been an expert? Who do you think you are, Ed?"

"Someone who'd rather not get the only good prosthetic in existence ruined by some clumsy hands!"

Another wrench smacked him this time on his head making Edward cry out and hiss in pain. Reflexively he whipped a hand up to touch the spot she hit and swore when his fingers found an already small lump.

"Winry!"

"You didn't answer my question!" She waved a power drill threateningly in his face and he turned sheet white. "What's up with you and Roy recently?"

He put on the most innocent expression he could muster.

"He's been less of a jerk hasn't he?"

Winry narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"Yes.." she grudgingly admitted. " and everyone says-no everyone believes that it's because you're like his new teacher's…pet" She seemed to struggle with the word as if it was something pink and fluffy she swallowed. Ed secretly grinned at her uncomfortable expression.

_He broke tradition to be with me._

"I thought he wouldn't like me for a while," and he winced letting the pain try and mask a smile he had a hard time containing. "But I guess he came around…" The girl looked completely lost as she finished up reconfiguring his leg.

_In more ways than one._

-#-#-#-

"Every day I'm worried that I'll find you stone cold after lying with you."

This admission took Edward purely by surprise as his teacher lay there on his bed, sprawled out with beads of sweat dotting his slender pale form. Roy's hair was plastered wetly to ever part of his forehead and neck. He still gasped and breathed ever so slightly out from puffed, abused lips. If there was any time Roy Mustang looked simply ravishing, this was the peak of that in Edward's mind. Ed was gazing at the man before him with slight astonishment. He had never felt so deeply probed, so lovingly that turned into the most animalistic wild run they had ever had. His behind still felt raw from Mustang's persistent entry and while it didn't bother him the least bit, the sudden influx of passionate intensity made him wonder after nearly a week of mere touches, kisses and gazes. It was the night before the last performance and the blonde chuckled. Roy looked aghast, wings fluttering against the bed in annoyance.

"Eddy it's not funny!" He snapped, cupping his lover's cheek with restrained intensity. He struggled not to grip him too tightly, but he feared that any moment he would slip into whips curling teasingly between his fingers. Gone.

The older Elric inhaled sharply boring his honeyed gaze deeply into inky black ones.

"I wasn't saying it was funny, sensei." He replied evenly, still drinking in the sight of his dark lover. "I'm just wondering what you're so tense about." _And what drove you into such a white passion abandon inside of me…_

"I can't-I refuse to live without you and I would blame myself for eternity if I was the cause of your death." He pressed his fingers against the smaller boy's lips as he tried to muscle up a protest. "I am a reason why people die and every day, there's always that time that others like me will come calling for you. Sometimes I wonder if I'm supposed to be allowed such exquisite feelings," Butter cream eyelashes fluttered shut in response to the gentle strokes of fingers across his damp cheeks. _This roulette love…was he regretting ever dancing with a mere mortal every day? Is it tearing him apart?_ "But," At this Ed jerked himself from his brooding. "I have never regretted coming to this world just for you. I only regret that at any moment your beautiful life will be cut short."

"If you worry about such things we'll never find the time to enjoy what time we _are_ allowed." Moaning slightly from the skin to skin contact Ed pushed his body against Mustangs. "The last performance of the year is tomorrow-you need to rest up _Mr. Mustang_." He stuck his tongue out as a flash of irritancy then grudging amusement came out of his lover.

"I don't need to feel older than I am…"

"You're not old, not the way you treat me." Edwards cunning suggestive smirk had Mustang's now complete attention. Edward shuddered as Mustang, fully alert, was sliding himself inside again. "And you certainly-_ahh!-_don't act-_Oh!-_like you _aaaaaahh_hr!"

All conversation ceased for the rest of the night.

-#-#-#-

"Are you nervous Eddy?"

The whisper trilled him and he was rendered more nervous from that than from facing the crowd of over six thousand strangers. The school end of the year concerts had now become the local and district wide attraction-even drawing people from out of the country just to get a cheaper venue in which to see the Elric brother. In lieu of that the school had to now up their ticket prices from the usual ten to now thirty while Edward Elric was still named in the program. It was a distress for most of the parents as they had to be jam packed in the venue that it was held in and it was much less personal but to Ed, this was about as personal it had ever gotten for him.

"I just feel sorry for the other musicians' parents this year yet again-they have to sit there and deal with someone next to them that speaks Chinese and then another person in Russian or Grecian." Ed murmured back as he poignantly ignored the whispers and the stares from the other girls in the band. Mustang was border line cruel as his breath ticked the younger boy's hormones inside of him. "Roy stop it!" He hissed turning a baby pink. "Don't do that before I perform-I can't do my violin any great justice."

He pulled away somewhat apologetic and said no more.

The roar of applause rocked the wooden stage as the line of students made their entrance. Ed's heart was pounding and it still wasn't form the sheer attendance in the house. No, it was that way Mustang looked at them-had looked at him a fraction of a second longer as he was directing people to seats with his baton- with all that spotlight that gave the boy a small shiver of delight.

Ed couldn't see out as always (with the darn lights pointed straight in the face he supposed it was to keep stage fright panic to a minimum) but tonight he wasn't looking for his brother. No, when he raised his instrument, resting it in the oh so familiar crook in his neck, bow lightly touching the strings, it was Roy Mustang, the sensei he fell so deeply in love with that was his tribute tonight.

_Tonight…this is for you…_

And when Roy flicked his hand downward, the story flew from his fingers.

_This was your touch, what it does to me. I burn, ache, want, need with a passion that sometimes makes me feel a stranger in my own body. You hide, you teased, you grew and blossomed a love that could not be taken away…_

Tonight it sang a new intensity, the strings perfectly tuned, the strokes fluid and with an ease of grace. There was something in Edward that had changed and everyone, even those who had never taken a music lesson in their lives, took note. But this time, it wasn't a thousand fold repetition of over worked formula, of patterns and scales. This was something daring and something that for the first time was not a journey he took by himself as a soloist but one that took care of everyone else's musical voice.

_I finally found you and at first, it wasn't who or what I expected. But my doubts and inhibitions soon were overcome with the tug you had on my soul. It was too much to bear. Even if the words failed me then or now, I know you can hear them speak tonight._

Edward glanced briefly to Mustang who while still conducting, had teared up. He loosened his wrist and into the position Mustang had lectured him about so many times before and the shimmer in his notes took a lusty, heady tone.

_I can never forget the first kiss you swept across my untouched lips. I can never forget the first embrace, your first lessons, the longing of seeing you again and again that feed a fire I never knew existed. You may had changed my personality but what remained in my music was the purest essence of me-wild, stubborn, determined and holding the ability to get annoyed, mad, angry , even curse at you._

The music took on a new shade of melody and the audience was hushed, feeling his raw emotions spill out form wood and metal, arched and tender. Ed could feel Al's gaze, knew that it spoke indefinitely of a love he shared with another but the elder brother tossed a small word of apology making Al sigh, sinking his head against the back of the chair.

For the first time all fears of Ed vanishing without warning in a clammy cold paralysis were dismissed from Roy's thoughts. As the crowd roared at the end of the performance, Edward snuck a shy glance towards him. Eyes locked. Ed felt something faint tugging at his soul, something that felt like a cold brush of feathers unfamiliar, but he wouldn't go-not tonight. Roy felt it too-an angel in seclusion- but this would be a night with no victories for death knocking.

They would take their chances-together.

**Roulette Love.**

Fin

-#-#-#-

So to all my fans I hope you've noticed this has been updated or have just stopped by out of randomness-I would hate to let down your expectations so if I did grill me is you wish T_T

I feel like I didn't do the final performance of the school year justice like I've done his mere fits of practice but you tell me lol. I will try to rapidly update the other fics as much as possible but inevitably I'll be bit by a plot and it probably won't let me go now that I'm a willing listener again. That you all again for your support and thanks to all the reviews that made me believe I could pick these stories up once again. I hope that it hasn't been too long and that you are all now finally satisfied-somewhat –laughs-


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